Why do people even bother getting married if they know they are not truly in love? - Help.com

Because they are in fact in love when they marry each other. Then it fades away… It becomes more a matter of dedication than love in the later years i’m sure.

true that… many feel the pressure to ’settle down’ biological clocks and all that. I cant yet find someone I can spend the rest of my life with… but Im almost 30 now.. and family r bugging me… but no I will not marry for the sake of getting married.

That is annoying. People only marry other people who they “THINK” that they are in love with. Because of one arguement or two they decide that they don’t want to have anymore to do with that person. Then get divorced and somehow in some magical way they completely miraculously forget about the vows that they took when they got married.

See, I hate that. People who say that they want to be with the person no matter what and then just suddenly decide that “nah, I don’t love you anymore” then comes “but I think i’ll take half your money though”. It makes no sense, people dumping each other just like that after spending all that money to get married and playing and toying with each other’s emotions.

Maybe it’s just their looks that they are attracted to and when they spend more time with each other they get more then what they bargain for and are like “you look good but your annoying”. People don’t quite understand that apart of marriage is to work out differences and sacraficing to be with someone. They don’t always want to be there to comfort their significant others. It especially happens with celebrities, they only be together for publicity and money, that’s all that is. People don’t really love each other. That’s just like a hot chick only marrying an old person for money. All that like marriage is a type of game, or who can have the better mate then others.

Guess im just ranting now. But seriously, these days people only seem to marry for money or looks, it’s pretty much useless to get married now adays anyway now.

“Love” is a two-way street. A man can be crazy in love, ask a woman to marry him, then slowly watch her destroy all his good feelings. Maybe he still says “I do” even though he has doubts because weddings are so expensive, the guests have all brought gifts and the whole world is watching. And it’s easy to believe that things will go back to the way they were if he just tries hard enough after the wedding.

But no one -man, woman or other- can make a marriage alone. It takes two people giving it everything. It’s a 100% commitment that turns into dust if just one person stops giving it all.

Third parties can also kill marriages. It’s difficult enough to compromise on hundreds of things with one person; add in families and children and neighbors and the school board and pretty soon a person has compromised themselves out of existence. And when you cease to exist as a seperate person, “death” has already parted you.

Ditto for killing love with abuse or constant crises. Drinking, drugs, physical violence, mental torture…those things can kill a love affair faster than cynaide. And being “committed” to an abusive relationship is just asking to find yourself at the morgue. Best to admit you loved him and tried…but it’s time to seperate and move on.

Actually, I disagree. The divorce rate isn’t insane, at all.

People are not built to be monogamous for a lifetime. We are built to form one relationship at at time and discard it when we no longer need it. That’s what nature intended, and that is how we are wired.

The whole idea of being together forever is a Christian concept. And we know how realistic most religious concepts are; “Take your only son to the top of the mountain and stab him to death.”

They were invented by the church as a means of control and to keep people paying the priests. Couples brought all their dirty laundry to the church and the leaders knew everything going on in the whole congretation so they could weed out the heretics and excommunicate the ones that weren’t playing ball.

It had nothing to do with saving the children. And still doesn’t, really. Kids are still better off with divorced parents that are sane and functional than marrieds that are yelling and fighting all the time. A peaceful single-parent home trumps a two-parent cage filled with tension and anger every time.

At least people should proceed with rationale and control instead of haste.

I agree; but I don’t really believe most people can. There’s too many roadblocks, and too many people believe that if the going gets rough it’s time to quit and do something else.

But for some interesting facts about relationships and why people act the way they do, I recommend the book “Why beautiful people have more daughters.” It really goes a long way to explaining why so many divorces.

To me, the crazy (good, but crazy) fact is that so many marriages last. So many couples manage to work it out and keep working it out. Half of them stay together for life! That’s the place to put the focus, not on the ones who don’t.