depression help: I am always upset. - Help.com



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I am always upset.

I have a husband and 2 beautiful little kids. I am never motivated to do anything. I have thought for a long time that getting a job and just getting out of the house would make me feel less helpless and give me a chance to communicate with the real world. My husband doesn’t want me too. He says that if I get a job or go to college it would ruin our family. (I have never and will never cheat on my spouse. I know what it is like growing up with a mommy who cheated on daddy. I will not ever put my children through that kind of hell.) I don’t want to be gone everyday. I love being mommy. I just need to get out of this house and have a sense of security. I have never had a job…ever and I only have a high school degree. If he decides one day to leave I am all alone and I wouldn’t have the ability to care for my children. I don’t know what my options are I don’t want a divorce and I don’t want to feel like I am totally dependent on my husband. What are my options? do I even have any?

This open post was written 1 month, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 107, 5, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Post Tags (5)

Spouse, children, depression, job, college (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (5)

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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 5 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (0 minutes after post)

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Anonymous changed the tags on this post: they were "Spouse, children, depression" 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

linuxya offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (8 minutes after post)

The only way to escape depression is to make commitments and follow through on them. You must have activities outside your home for your mental health.

Volunteering is a great option.

As for your husband’s opinion, you will need to dig to find what the underlying reasons for his concerns are. You must listen to him and repeat back what he says until he agrees you understand it. The issue could be ego (he wants to be your sole supporter) fear (you will have less time for him) etc. No point in guessing.

Then you can give your perspective, emphasizing only your feelings and needs and not using any blaming language.

You need to stand behind your needs and be flexible on how you achieve them.

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Help me with: The problem with self serving advice
HARVARDgirl!! :) offline Verified User (4 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 249 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

get an online degree,then find a job which can be done at home…such as translating or s.th…
being a mommy is the best part of a woman life….take care of ur kids,kiss them a lot!!!!!!!! :D

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Help me with: hi every one,how r u?
littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 152 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (48 minutes after post)

You need to convince your husband that everything will be OK and that you don’t want to feel helpless should something happen to him, God forbid, and you cannot support your family. It’s only practical that you at least learn how to become self sufficient. It will not take away his manhood or position he has in your family. He is still the man of the house and you should reassure him so.

I wish my mom had taken a more active role in trying to become more self sufficient before my father passed away.

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Help me with: How to Get a Job

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