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Annoyed by my “best friend.”

I’ve known her for about 10 years now and we’ve gone through everything best friends would go through. We went off to different high schools and colleges, which meant our conversations were at a minimal. During this time she was going through break-ups (she cheated on her bf) and I was there for her. We’ve since graduated and I moved back home. I was so ecstatic to be close to my friends and her again. Lately, however, I’ve just been super annoyed with her. My other friends and I had concluded that her boyfriend (the one she cheated on with) is a pretty selfish person. He always wants her around and she always gives in, meaning she would flake on us to hang out with HIM. I work at a radio station so I’m always getting free tickets to things. Most of my other friends are always down to go to anything, but with her she picks and chooses. I got these free tickets to a ballet, she told me she would probably go, but when I asked her to confirm she replied, “not my thing since Nutcracker.” UGHH!!! I know she’s only using that as an excuse to hang out with her bf. The way I see it, the whole ballet invite was to offer a social gathering (pretty much a girl’s night out) and an excuse to hang out. She even got mad at me once when I didn’t want to go to a club she invited me to. SO HYPOCRITICAL. I just feel like I should drop her as my “best friend.” I don’t see eye-to-eye with her anymore because she’s turned into such a selfish person. I can’t confide in her either because I feel like she wouldn’t care and I just wouldn’t value her advice anyway.

I know for sure too that when her bf moves away to join the Air Force, she’ll be all over wanting to hang out with me all the time (just like when she temporarily broke up with her bf). In addition, I was recently in New York for my birthday (which I invited her to come and she rejected, saying she’ll “make it up to me”) while her boyfriend went to Las Vegas. She called me while I was in NY and wanted to know what I was up to. I told her I was in NY and she replied, “OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT! Ok have fun, bye!) So you see, I’m just so fed up with her being her sloppy seconds. When her bf isn’t around, she’s always wanting to hang out with me. When I ask her to go to things, she’ll want her bf to be there too and wouldn’t go unless he was also there.

Dammit. EFFFF HER!!!

This open post was written 1 month, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 135, 6, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Serenity986 offline Verified User (1 month, 3 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

have you tried sitting down with her and telling her you feel? maybe she’s totally oblivious to what she’s doing. sometimes in life we get so wrapped up in a situation we dont realize the error of our ways. As a true friend maybe it would be a good idea to be honest and open with her. good luck :-)

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lbeeler2003 offline Verified User (1 month, 3 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (15 minutes after post)

If she is a “true” friend she will understand when you tell her exactly what you just wrote here. Well, you might not want to say everything. But tell her how you truly feel. A true friend will do the right thing. If she does not then the friendship was not supposed to last. Good luck to you. I hope things work on the the positive side for you.

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Morally Ambiguous JD offline Verified User (1 year, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 120 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (25 minutes after post)

She has a boyfriend, Whitch means she WILL spend time with him, get used to that.

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Morally Ambiguous JD offline Verified User (1 year, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 120 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (29 minutes after post)

And also it sounds like when she isnt spending time with her boyfriend she is making the effort to involve you and her other friends, if anything you sound jealous of her boyfriend and your coming across as very selfish.

She has a boyfriend, so she is going to spend less time with you and more time with him. Get into a relationship yourself and im sure you would understand. Chill out and be happy for your “best friend” Just like she would be for you if the roles were reveresed.

Get over your jealousy and selfishness and act like a friend.

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cookies86 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (40 minutes after post)

Joshy woshy Poshy wrote:
And also it sounds like when she isnt spending time with her boyfriend she is making the effort to involve you and her other friends, if anything you sound jealous of her boyfriend and your coming across as very selfish.

She has a boyfriend, so she is going to spend less time with you and more time with him. Get into a relationship yourself and im sure you would understand. Chill out and be happy for your “best friend” Just like she would be for you if the roles were reveresed.

Get over your jealousy and selfishness and act like a friend.

OK Joshy woshy POSHY, thank you for nothing and for the TERRIBLE ADVICE. I’ve known her boyfriend longer than her! We all share the same friends, but why is it that HE’S able to hang out with his guy friends, while she doesn’t take up on a girl’s night out when it’s offered to her?? I asked her to go to a club with me recently, she said “I don’t wanna go if he doesn’t wanna go.” OH PLEASE!!! I’m such a good friend to her and I feel like I’m ALWAYS THERE FOR HER and I feel that she’s just using me. There’s so much more to the story than what I described. She NEVER CALLS ME AND NEVER ASKS TO HANG OUT GIRL-TO-GIRL. I’m sick of always having talks with her. It’s not me that’s the problem, it’s HER! She’s the one dissing ME. I understand she can spend time with him, but she’s already with him 16 hours of everyday. Can she not spare one night out and then go home to him?? What about that makes ME the jealous friend? You got it all wrong BUDDY. I’m not jealous, I’m just sick of her being selfish as hell.

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Morally Ambiguous JD offline Verified User (1 year, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 120 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (4 hours, 19 minutes after post)

I think your both the problem, but i might be seing this from a male perspective. If I were you I would have told her it isnt cool that she hasnt any time for her friends now and if she wants to keep them she had better make the effort. If she doesnt make the effort then neither would I.

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