relationship help: STUCK IN A RELATIONSHIP HELP!

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STUCK IN A RELATIONSHIP HELP!

I’ve been with my current girlfriend for just over three years now. I’m 19 and she’s nearly 21. The past few months our relationship has become completely boring, we do the same things every day, we used to go out to the cinema etc but its non existant anymore we basically sit in watchin tv until I decide to go home. When I ask what she wants to do she just says “I dont mind” but I’ve tried asking her to go to the cinema, go out for a meal, weekend away but she says no to everything i suggest.

However I recently bumped into an old ex who I hadn’t seen in a while and a few days later we got together and had a day out in the town and it was great fun, until she tried to kiss me and i pushed her away. That ended the day out and she left in a huff. The day in general just made me think about the fun I’m missing in life and whether or not I want to be in a relationship that has no spontaneity or excitement.

The problem is my girlfriend is crazy about me and if I was to finish things I dont know how she’d react or what she’d do. Neither of us has ever been in a relationship for this long before but I know that she took other previous breakups quite badly. She ended up on medication for depression after she was dumped by an ex after 6 months. I dread to think what would happen if we broke up. I dont want to send her down into a spiral of misery and depression and I dont want her to hurt herself either but I really dont think I can stay in this relationship anymore. I care about her and dont want to see anything happen to her but when I say “I love you” I dont think I even mean it anymore, it feels like the spark that used to be there has just gone and I dont know why, I just dont know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

This open post was written 1 month, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 103, 7, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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Cell 54 #
Winnipeg, MB, CA | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

The spark always goes out. It needs to be rekindled.

Help me with: My 7 year old daughter says she wants to be an artist when she grows up.

whydoyoucare8 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

Tell her how you feel, try to work on it as a couple. DOn’t just give up because you’re going through a rough patch.

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jessica0909 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (17 minutes after post)

We all handle things in our own way and that saying your going to stick in a relationship due to what the other person might do to themselves is not okay. In the end it is about you. i did learn this after many years of being with someone and not leaving them because i was concerned of how they would feel or what would happen to them. How this person handles issues isn’t up to you. If it were not you it would be someone else. Maybe you find something in yourself that is missing and this person doesnt quite complete you. Dont worry about them worry about yourself.

Help me with: Little much.

enigma5608 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 39 minutes after post)

In some ways life is usually about getting in to a nice rut. If it is a good rut. There is nothing wrong in getting int a good pattern. The best farmers will say nothing better then a good rut.

On the other hand. If you or your partner are unsatisfied, deeply. Then you have issues. Probably slightly deeper then you think. Fist open line of communication. talk to her. Let her know what you are thinking. A slow approach is probably best. In due time you will have to lay it all out. and just let the dice roll.

If she is dependent upon a man in her life, or medication you are very likely to have issues in the long run. (it just sends a red flag in my mind) in the end you will need to do what you need to do and handle the consequences either way. it is the crappy part of growing up.

ℓινιηg4уσυ 1,013 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (6 hours, 23 minutes after post)

Tell her how you feel,
Its nice that a couple go out for a dinner,cinima..etc

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reneemartinu #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (5 days, 15 hours after post)

Hi. After reading your post it made me relize that I am not the only person in the world with this kind of issue! I have been in my current realationship for 5 years. I am currently 22 so do the math- my best years have been with this guy! From the get go he made it clear to me that he was looking for someone to build a future with. I was fine with that as I thought I wanted the same thing. We always had a good, passionate, fun and exciting realationship. Allbeit a little limiting for myself as he is jealous and does not make it easy for me to have friends of my own or go out with my only girl friend. Well we have been living together for 3 years now in a tiny apartment, got a cat and I think I want out…
I do not dislike him. When I look at him, I still feel love, but I am just not sure if I am IN love with him…
He is nice to me and cares deeply for me as well. But we have been bitten by the boring bug. We don’t do anything fun anymore. We don’t have the passion we used to… We have fallen into a rut and now I am wondering if I should break up with him and see how I like life without him. I have never had to break up with someone and I have never been in a long realationship like this. I know he will be heartbroken as he sees no issues with our realationship the way it is and is content not doing anything ever…
I do not believe there is room for change after so many years… and I am scared to even try to break up with him…
What should I do?

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Cell 54 #
Winnipeg, MB, CA | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (5 days, 15 hours after post)

You could make your own post :)

Like I said to this person, the spark ALWAYS goes out. It can be rekindled.

Help me with: My 7 year old daughter says she wants to be an artist when she grows up.

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STUCK IN A RELATIONSHIP HELP!

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