So here it is. - Help.com

How long have you been married?

Why are you worried that he is lying….

A year and a half

I think your concern over him lying to you about him phoning you is a good indication that something more serious is bothering you….

we have had a lot of problems with him lying about STUPID stuff in the past, and his petty lying very often gets him into a lot of trouble….and has

He never lied before in a year and a half? Something very bad is happening and he needs to be reminded that EVERYONE has caller ID..

Ok…. have you actually established that he is lying about little stuff…. my ex partner insisted that i lied about stuff….his idea of me lying was that i forgot to say i had a custard cream with my coffee or i had forgotten to mention that i had put the bins out earlier in the day…. It was all in his head…. His insecurities being projected onto me until i thought i was going crazy…. I forgot to mention the custard cream because then i would have to admit i had gone to the shop to buy them and when i was there i said hello to the cashier which means i was desperate to get the guy into bed. Absolute madness… on his part.

It got to the point where his constant questioning made me start to think i was the mad one…. i didn’t dare forget to mention the least trivial thing for fear he would throw it back at me later and accuse me of covering up something i had done…. In the end…. i was like your husband…. when my partner asked a simple question like why didn’t you phone earlier i would have said i tried… just to avoid the twenty explaining he would put me through because i hadn’t…. Needless to say he’s no longer my partner!

You and him need marriage counseling! Fast!

Sorry hahah…. you’ve lost me? Gaynor?

whoever “hahah” is obviously has nothing valid or helpful to say…sounds like a 12 year old boy who got ahold of his mom’s computer and is having a fun and exciting day…

as for eh…”gaynor” (where the hell that came from, I have no clue)….I totally question everything that he does and says….his lying has killed all the trust I ever had for him….and almost what we had left of our relationship.

there are valid reasons as to why I am questioning him…not going into details only because it’s a looong story….:P

My ex had his “valid” reasons for questioning me too…. All in his head… but he truely believed them…. My mistake….. Right at the start of our relationship…. on our first date….. you know when you ask about past relationships etc he asked me if i had ever been in love… gave him the answer… not really… thought i was at the time but you later realise you weren’t… after nearly a year together he found an old…. a very old letter that i had written…. decided not to send…. stuffed it in a drawer and forgot about it…. where i told my ex i loved him…. Instantly i was a lying cow who couldn’t be trusted and from that day onwards he made my life hell trying to catch me out on my “lies”.

It sounds like your relationship is seriously flawed…. Move on…. You are making his life miserable and your own…. Why?

Why don’t you go find some of your little sisters barbies, take all their clothes off, and go to town on yourself….my problems are very insignificant compared to the ones you OBVIOUSLY have…

that was meant for hahah, btw

Thank the lord for that….lol…. i thought i had seriously offended you!

Not offended. Check out some of my other posts and maybe some of this might start to make some sense. Not everything is posted, but a lot of our problems have come from him lying about bigger things, not stupid phone calls or anything like that. I’m not saying that alot of the worries I have about my husband lying are completely 100 percent valid, but this dis-trust I have for him comes from the wall of lies he has built for me to climb over….and those lies are small or petty.

Please don’t take offence at what i say…. But very often it is the person asking all the questions that is the insecure one and they are reflecting those insecurities onto the other person…. I had that for three years… I loved the guy…. I couldn’t imagine life without him… didn’t want or look for anyone else… He wouldn’t believe it and he destroyed our relationship… he left me heart broken… and when he left his parting comment was ” if you didn’t lie all the time i wouldn’t be walking out on you”…. Right to the end he couldn’t see he was the problem… I’m single…. i will remain so…. why? Because i loved the only guy i ever wanted… i don’t want anyone else… so who has been proved right…. him or me?

I am insecure. But that doesn’t really justify his lying. He lies a lot. He has admitted it. And he has gotten caught plenty of times. It’s not all in my head.

Oh please don’t think i’m saying it is all in your head… i don’t think it is… But somewhere you have to draw a line… so he’s lied… he’s been caught out…. if you say i forgive you for lying then you have to…. if you say i can’t forgive you for lying then you have to walk away…. Because it will eat you up inside.

Too scared to walk away. I’ve told him a thousand times that I can’t forgive him. He won’t accept it. He says he won’t ever let me leave and that someday he will earn all my trust back. Bit by bit. Then I catch him lying about stupid little things, and it just makes me wonder….is there something else he could be lying about?? I think that little lies (for him) seem to be a cover up for the bigger lies.

It drives me crazy. And my questioning drives him crazy. You’re right. This relationship is probably screwed. But I guess I’ll either die trying, or he’ll die trying.

hahah wrote:
@daisy its a shame!!!!! your quite hot! pity bout you being crazy! am very blunt in what I say don’t take it personal, realise that many of your problems are in fact insignificant and many better people deal with problems in their own manner rather than turn to strangers for reassurance! you have issues deal with them, or let them brude asking a bunch of internet folk what to do isnt going to give you impetus enough to do it, it’ll only give you a false sense of accomplishment that you’ve “done” something!

I’m not looking for reassurance or a false sense of accomplishment. I’m well aware of the problems I have, and have tried on my own to repair what is left of this relationship. I’m looking for advice. Yes…from strangers. I don’t know of anyone personally that might be able to give me the advice a stranger might have to give….because most of my friends are not married….and really haven’t had anything closely related to the problems we as a couple are having.

Now. Please. Shut your ignorant mouth and stop posting. Go do something productive. Your ridiculously annoying.

I am worried about you… and where you will be in five years time… This relationship is seriously flawed and i think it is so flawed that one of you and most probably you will end up so emotionally damaged you won’t bounce back… I sense you are fairly young… not that i am saying that young is a bad thing… in your case it’s a great thing… Get out of the relationship now… take some time to heal from it… and then look for someone you can trust… You have admitted you can’t trust him or forgive him…. this relationship will end in divorce… so end it sooner rather than later… Take it from me… I’m 40…. i am probably too old to start a fresh… too much damage done to me…. but you have a chance! Take it!

I’m 20….so yea…still young.

Pack a bag… and leave him…. now if you can…. go to your friends or family….anywhere where you can give yourself time and space to think… you need to be out of the environment that is causing you this much pain and it is because no one should be living a life where they are so insecure it is affecting their every day existence.