Love help: Ok, I’m really confused. - Help.com

Ok, I’m really confused.

I met this guy (J) about a year ago through my brother. I really liked him right away, and I found out a little later that he liked me too. We hooked up once at a party that month, and we went out on a date a couple months later, but we never had anything “official”. After the date, I didn’t see him much and eventually he moved to another state for a little while. So I just gave up on liking him, figuring he didn’t like me anymore. But he came back recently, and I started hanging out with him again. A few days ago, I found out he still liked me after all this time. Friday night, we were hanging out at a friend’s house drinking, and I guess I was being a little flirty. We ended up kissing.

The problem with this is I’ve had a boyfriend (L) for almost five months now. So after J & I kissed, I backed away and said something like, “No, I can’t do this, I have a boyfriend.” Then I went upstairs and cried. I texted L asking if I could call him, and then I went downstairs to talk to J. I don’t remember the whole conversation (since I was pretty drunk), but I think it was basically me wondering why he still liked me after all this time. Before we talked, J pulled me onto his lap where I stayed for the entire conversation. After we talked, I went upstairs and called my boyfriend to tell him that J & I kissed. He said it was ok and that J just took advantage of me because I was drunk. He wasn’t mad at me at all, but he should have been. I was glad he wasn’t though, and I was very glad we didn’t break up. After we were done talking, I went back downstairs. I don’t remember how it happened, but I ended up sleeping on the couch with J. L only knows that we kissed. He doesn’t know that after I cried about that, I sat on J’s lap, and he doesn’t know that after we talked, I slept next to J.

I am madly in love with L. He made me think about marriage and kids and a future, and no one else have ever done that. I am very comfortable around him and he makes me so happy. We have a really great relationship. But we don’t get to see each other very often, as we live about an hour and a half apart.

And on the other hand, J and I have liked each other for a very long time. He’s really great to hang out with and he lives much closer so we can hang out basically any time. I always wanted to be with him but never was.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I want everyone to be happy. But I know that’s not possible. So what do I do? I promised L I would never leave him, and I don’t want to. I love him very much. But I feel so bad still having feelings for J.

What should I do?

This open post was written 1 month, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 117, 6, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Relationships, Love, confused (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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