how can i kiss someone for the first time?
im a freshman in high school and a girl, and ive never kissed anyone before. the guy i like ( i feel so shallow typing this ) likes me back, and i want to kiss him and he wants to kiss me but he’s apparently “not good” at making the first move, and im used to making the first move so i told him i would kiss him (because i want to). but…ive never really wanted to kiss someone before this, and have absolutely no idea how to go about doing it. any tips?
This open post was written 1 month, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 405, 15, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
Reciprocity (0)
Since writing this post acousticlove0 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. acousticlove0 is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 11 months and has 10 posts and 84 replies to their name.
Post Tags (5)
Replies (15)
Where were you?
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Girls
1. Have a mint. Make sure you are kissably fresh.
2. Lean in and make eye contact. Lean your head on your guy’s shoulder as if you are about to fall asleep. Look up at him - if his arm goes around to let you in, go for the kiss. If not, or or he doesn’t seem to be taking things the same way you are, he might not be ready yet. Just relax for now.
3. Look at his lips. Drop your gaze and your eyelids to half mast, then slowly, look back up at him and give him a little welcoming smile.
4. Relax and be at ease about it. If he doesn’t go for the kiss, accept it and don’t push. Wait for another moment, either later in the date, or another time.
5. Let him know you want to kiss. Reaching up to twine your arms around his neck, or lightly play with the hair at his neckline will let him know you are ready to get up close and personal.
6. Take the lead. Some guys are very shy. Even those who aren’t have been drilled over and over about unwelcome touching. Consider lightly kissing him on the cheek to show him that you’re okay with touch. Guys have a reputation as being pervs, but a lot of boys worry about going too far.
7. Invite him to kiss you. Yep, some boys really do need an engraved invitation. Let’s say you’ve tried to show him you’re ready, and he looks interested, but you just can’t get him to (A) let you kiss him, or (B) kiss you, then just ask him, “Couldn’t we just be kissing right now?” If he doesn’t kiss you then, he isn’t going to.
Guys
1. Don’t be Shy Girls want you to kiss them. If you like a girl, DON’T tell her you love her just to get a kiss.
2. Have a mint. Make sure you are kissably fresh.
3. Shave. Or don’t. If you are going on a date with a girl you think you will want to kiss at some point, don’t go with a five o’clock shadow or heavy stubble. Whisker burn is a true problem, and you will cut your kissing prospects seriously if you sand her face of with your stubble. Either go clean and baby-smooth, or let it grow out enough to be soft and tickly. A day or two’s worth of whiskers will render you unkissable, except for the bare minimum. No girl wants to walk around with an itchy, red rash around her mouth for days just for the privilege of your kiss.
4. Respect her privacy. Most girls will not want to make out in front of others, especially if this is her first kiss. Find the right time when you can be alone. Privacy is the key.
5. Watch for signals. Watch carefully, because sometimes the signals can be confusing - she may flirt with you, then smack you on the head. These may just be coy games, or she may really be conflicted. Ask yourself these questions: Did you and your date seem to have a cozy, warm, close time together? Has she been flirting with you through body language? Has she licked her lips, or bit her lower lip while looking at you? Has she found excuses to touch you often? If you feel confident of these things, prepare to kiss!
6. Make eye contact. If she is comfortable and doesn’t look away then she is ready.
7. Lean in slowly. Don’t swoop in like a condor! Make it slow, nice, easy, romantic.
8. Hold her. Do not use a first kiss as your personal excuse to grope, grab, or get too familiar. Be a gentleman, for heaven’s sake. Reach around her waist, gently draw her toward you (again, gentlemen, do not squish her up against you and then grind your pelvis against her).
9. Look into her eyes. Notice how we mention eye contact twice? Very important, amigo. Let her know that you are really seeing her.
10. Look at her lips. Aim, dude. Make sure you know where you’re going. Lean in, and go in for the kiss.
11. Walk that fine line and make it a really excellent kiss. You don’t want to give her a chaste little peck. You also don’t want to (well, you may want to, but don’t!) shove your tongue down her throat. An excellent first kiss is one that is romantic, tender and memorable. Your mouth should not be overly opened or closed, and it shouldn’t be mushy or too tight (relax). Don’t let it go too long (more than, say, 20 seconds) or let it be too short (3 seconds is not enough) - think around 10 seconds or so. A tiny hint of tongue is nice if she seems willing, but make it flirtatious and not insistent.
12. Wait for her response. Just remain silent and smile, better yet hug her, ending the first kiss in a lovely, intimate moment.
13. Body Language Watch her look for the telltale signs that she wants to kiss you like:looking at you lips, licking her lips and or biting her bottom lip.
Tips
* Keep in mind that many are shy about kissing — but this doesn’t mean they don’t want to kiss you. Pay attention to body language. If you think your someone might be suffering from this ailment, try kissing them! Just be mindful of their reaction. If they pull away, or are surprised or otherwise not interested in the kiss, be mature about it and don’t take it personally. You can try again later unless you are rebuffed flat out.
* Carry Lip balm, or lip gloss (preferably lip balm)
* The fastest way to have a first kiss is just to get close to the person and kiss them. Most people won’t complain. However, it is more fun if you spend an intimate evening with that person first.
* A good way to have a first kiss is the “coward’s date” — going to a movie. Simple, but effective. Hopefully your crush will hold your hand - everyone has hormones, after all - and then you gradually get closer until you’re as close as you can be without kissing. She/he should get the message soon, and if she/he doesn’t, perhaps she/he’s just not ready.
* If you know for a fact he wants to kiss you - for instance, he’s told your friends - but he’s just nervous, don’t be afraid to ASK him! It does work.
* If you don’t mind having an impersonal first kiss, join in on a game of Truth or Dare. The most popular dare is to kiss someone. Be warned though: you may end up kissing someone you don’t much fancy (unless you get a friend to dare your crush to kiss you). The same is true for Spin the Bottle.
* Avoid kissing straight-on, noses may get in the way.
* Keep your eyes closed during a first kiss. It will be awkward to be cross-eyed looking at them while kissing. Also, it is rude to have your eyes open during a kiss. It might put the wrong message across, and make your partner think you are criticizing his kissing.
* If you ever feel uncomfortable, then maybe it’s not the right person.
* Do not worry about details - how much to tilt your head, when to close your eyes, how long to stay, etc. Everyone has intuition and kissing is a very intuitive activity. It will all turn out fine.
* Don’t just kiss someone out of the blue to see what its like to kiss, have your first kiss with someone you love.
kissing comes as naturally as breathing. You will be fine!
ahh im so nervous!!!
When you’re with him, tell him what I told my girl the first time I wanted to kiss her:
I have a little boo boo on my upper lip, would you like to kiss it and make it better?
She reached into her purse for what I thought was lip balm and I was all puckered up ready for the kiss, and she put a band aid on my lip! :(
Dont be. u have nothing to fear..kissing is nice and even relaxing (something to do with a love chemical thats released when u do it).
i just dont know when to do it! i think i COULD gather up enough courage to actually do it, i just dont have any idea the proper time and place. i wanted to kiss him at school today, but it would be awkward to randomly kiss him in front of our friends.
Kiss him goodbye at the end of the day. Kiss him hello tomorrow. Kiss him when nobody is watching. The first one is the hardest one, it gets easier after that. Tell him you want him to kiss you, guys are shy and bad at reading body language.
I was the same as you on my first time. But its absoulutly fine. He is probaly more nervous than you. Just maybe walk home with him and then when to say goodbye wrap your arms arounds his neck to give him a tight hug then lean your head back so your looking into his face. And lean your head to one side and he should then lean in for the kiss. Dont do tounges on the first kiss. And dont leave it too long. He has to have something to look forward to. Tease him. And leave him wanting more.
Sounds like Emma is an expert. Do it her way.
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.