Hi,
I have a really embarrassing issue which I have kept to myself for a very long time and really would like some advice please!
I used to be quite skinny. I’m 5′5 and used to weigh 125lbs. When I was a teenager and went on holiday I would eat and drink loads and not gain weight. Sometimes I would lose weight.
Over the past couple of years this has stopped.
About a year ago I went on a trip to Thailand for a few months staying in an elephant sanctuary. It was really strenuous and tiring work. At the end of the day I was so hungry I would eat loads. I figured since I was burning so many calories during the day I wouldnt gain weight…but I did.
About a month into it I realised my belly had slowly grown. I had a bigger belly when I rode the elephants. The locals also picked up on this. They were all stick thin. I asked them how come they dont gain weight. They told me that since they have been eating like this their whole life they are immune to gaining weight. They said it is common for ‘white people’ who stay with them to put on weight. They told me that I will probably get even fatter over the next two months and there was nothing I could do to stop it!
So, I ignored the weight gain and carried on looking after the elephants. At the end of the 3 months I was huge. My belly hung over my shorts, which were now so tight I couldnt do up the top button.
It was so embarrassing that the locals all stayed thin and I just kept getting fatter and fatter. I started having trouble getting onto elephants because of my weight gain. The locals had to teach the elephant to pick me up with its trunk and place me on its back since I was too fat to get up on my own!
When I got back home I knew I had put on a lot of weight. I guessed it may have been as much as 15lbs. I got on the scales and it turned out I had gained over 40lbs.
Its been so embarrassing seeing friends and family again. They’ve made a lot of comments which vary from ’so I see you ate well on your trip’ to ‘you’ve been packing on the pounds’. One friend who has always been very skinny said to me ‘I’ve been trying to put on weight but cant seem to do it, how did you get so fat so quickly?’
I went on a diet and joined a gym but after 6 months I only lost 4lbs. Since I wasn’t seeing results I gave up. In the following 2 months I gained 15lbs. My friends have continued to make light hearted jokes about my weight gain. At first it got to me a little. Over time though I grew to not mind it. In fact, now I think I really like being fat. Is this normal?
Here is the other area I need advice about. When I started putting on weight, I realised that it wasnt really evenly distributed. Although I got fatter all over, a lot of weight seems to have gone to my chest and face.
I didnt really have boobs before and I really wanted bigger breasts and so I quite liked it at first when I put on weight that I actually started getting bigger breasts. The problem is that they kept getting bigger and bigger faster than the rest of me. I was barely a B cup when I was thin. This morning, I accidently burst my bra. Its been getting tighter for a while but havent had time to get a new bra. I guess I have to now. I cant believe Im an E-cup.
I’m a little nervous that if I put on more weight my boobs will get even bigger. They are already quite a handful and I had some trouble getting used to them since I gained so much weight so fast. I still occasional knock them into things - it can be quite embarrassing.
When I was flat chested I could get away without wearing a bra. I found it more comfortable just with a t-shirt. When I do that now and am,say, trying to work, they get in the way. They bounce too much - even if I’m just walking.
The problem is, I have been invited back to the elephant sanctuary in Thailand. I loved the trip, its just if I go back I will get even fatter. I already bounced a lot when I rode elephants, what happens if I were to gain even more weight!?
I am desparate for help. Anything you say will be welcome!!
Thank you
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