This friend and I have been close these recent years, but lately, this problem arises that threatens to sever our ties for good.

Red Rabbit

This friend and I have been close these recent years, but lately, this problem arises that threatens to sever our ties for good.

It starts off as careless remarks or actions to things our friends or me may do that she comments on, and I don’t really like it or do I think much of it personally, but the times when I try to reenact and do the little things that she does to us, but to her, she becomes infuriated and talks down, perhaps she is not able to control what comes out of her mouth at that moment, but I can’t ignore and I can’t help but think that that may not be the case either.
I don’t understand the reason behind her vents at me, nor why she chooses to vent at me and exclude me from other group activities or outings with our other friends. When i go to confront her or ask why I was not notified nor invited she retorts “Well it was your fault that you didn’t ask me about it.”. And this annoys me as the fact is, how could I have known something that was not brought to my attention? ! I can’t just suddenly be able to call it out so accurately and randomly like on a blue moon! (okay, bad metaphor.. or something)
It hurts me in a way that, I am not sure if she understands, or realizes.. or perhaps she is oblivious to it and is carelessly saying these hurtful things to me, trying to “protect herself” as she sees it, and I don’t understand why she would act this way towards me when I am completely unaware of whether I have upset or disrespected her, or if she felt I had done so to her. She has not told me if I have, and if she’s just venting I feel that she is taking it too far.

I want to tell her how I feel about it, but she doesn’t seem to notice my feelings or my problems, and she has turned the situation around to make me look like the “bad guy” in stead of “protecting herself”. I am afraid that if I explain to her why and how I am hurt by what she is excluding me from, she would just say worse to me carelessly. What I am scared of more is if I do find out that she knows my feelings, and is still continuing this hurt to me.
I am truly disappointed that, though our friendship has been to such an extent, that this could be the one event that breaks us apart on both ends. Our perspectives may be different as to why or how this even started.

All I wish is for it to be resolved, but I don’t know what to do.

This open post was written 5 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 171, 2, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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yoshikaku 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 1 week ago (7 minutes after post)

Personally, I wouldn’t talk to her anymore.
But my only suggestion to you is
1. give her space
2. Try to help through her or people she knows
3. remind her who she is.
4. remind her of how you became friends in the first place

Help me with: Just another question

Red Rabbit 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 1 week ago (21 minutes after post)

What if avoiding her makes her strengthen her thoughts of avoiding me more, if I were to already avoid her.. would that cause a greater separation?

And when she confronted on her faults of who she is, she becomes offended as she likes people to see her as a venerable character and to those who she thinks are challenging that, I think that she would feel that she needs to defend or protect herself by talking down at the critic, even if what is said to or about her is true and not all that positive.. =( I feel scared that if I were to tell her of how I felt by what SHE did to exclude me, she might see it as a means to protect herself and use her mechanisms to talk me down. I just don’t get her now.. :/

Help me with: How do you tell the differences in love, either Romantic or Closeness when you are in a close friendship with that one?

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This friend and I have been close these recent years, but lately, this problem arises that threatens to sever our ties for good. - Help.com