depression help: Yesterday my girlfriend of two years and I decided mutually that - Help.com

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Well as you said you isolated yourself and focused on her.

This has caused two problems.

1. You became so focused on her that you ceased to be interesting to her. You probably became clingy, wanted all her attention, needed her for your self esteem, used her as your sole social outlet. That probably killed the relationship.

2. You weakened your support network.

Your goal is thus to rebuild your support network by spending time with friends, family, socializing (see meetup.com for social groups) signing up for volunteering, ANYTHING that gets you meeting lots of new people.

You will feel denial, anger, regrets and depression. Those are all expected phases of dealing with loss. Expect them. Don’t repress them. Journal out your feelings.

Get lots of vigorous exercise. Any time you feel down, get out of the house. Find a mall or something or bookshop or cafe you can walk to for about a 30-45min walk. Do it EVERY TIME you feel down.

Worked for me.

I know this suggestion seems extremely insensitive, and callous, but have you ever considered that she’s gay?

The problem is hers. She’s got “It’s not you, its me” on the tip of her tongue, and that’s the truth. But knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Time is the greatest healer, even if that isn’t a comfort. Try and distract yourself, and day by day, even if you think it won’t, each sunrise will become brighter, and gradually you’ll feel lighter in yourself.

Good luck,

Simba

i agree with linuxya.

why did you isolate yourself from everyone else? you chose her, unnecessarily, over other people. bad idea. learn from it. there WILL be a next time no matter what you may be feeling now.

But listen to linuxya, good advice there.

While it is good advice, be careful not to connect exercise to negative emotion. Don’t do it EVERY TIME at all. Do it when it becomes too much. I took my friends advice of that when I had my heart broken. I’m not anorexic with bulimic tendancies for over-exercising, which is reckoned to be connected to my emotional state.

Try to balance the driving forces of everything in your life, don’t move from one fixation to another; rather, balance them out.

Simba wrote:
While it is good advice, be careful not to connect exercise to negative emotion.

Anorexia has everything to do with controlling anxiety by controlling your weight. It’s an anxiety issue, not an exercise or emotion issue.

Cannonball Girl wrote:

why did you isolate yourself from everyone else?

He’s human… everyone does this… The only advice I have is to try move on. I’m sure your friends will miss you and take you back..

I’m sorry the way things turned out for you.. things get easier..