advice help: My maid is stealing from me and I am uncertain as to how to handle it. - Help.com

Say something like “Martha, I see you needed more eggs. And last week you ran out of rice. Are you having trouble making ends meet”?

And open a dialogue. If she cops an attitude, fire her. Otherwise, work something out. Either way, she should get the message you are paying attention.

Totally agree with Dragon lady. The times are hard and maybe she is having some financial trouble.

A concerned conversation would probably do wonders.

Sadly, stealing is stealing. She has to come clean immediately.

maybe you can give her less autonomy. meticulously go over grocery receipts with her. give her minimum access to food (e.g. instead of putting all the food in the pantry, keep most of it in a locked room/cabinet somewhere), make sure she sees you counting fruits. this change in behaviour will also show her that you already know she’s stealing but you won’t tell the police and would rather deal with it on your own.

our maid used to steal from us too. we wonder why we never have leftovers anymore. turned out she gets maybe three times the amount of food she’s supposed to eat, then bring two rations home to her kids (she’s not a live-in helper). so what we do is we just give her rations in a plate for her meal. adequate amount of course, but only good for one. then we keep most of the food in a locked cabinet and just put on the pantry maybe enough food for two days.

do your own housework and cooking like the rest of us plebs, then it wont be a problem

Thanks Courtybubble. I realize this is a ‘luxury problem’ and small beans compared to what other people might be going through. However, I do work, very hard in fact, and very long hours but at something other than domestic work and as such do not have time for housework, grocery shopping or meal preparation. We must all make choices in life and mine has been in the direction of work and career.

I am, in fact, providing a living for another human being. She is in my employ of her own choice. She is housed, fed, has excellent medical and dental insurance, 2 weeks vacation including a RT flight home once a year, a nice commodious room, cable television and a private bath. In exchange she need only keep house (I am very neat), do laundry, shop for groceries, prepare a simple breakfast daily (I usually only eat fruit, yoghurt, cereal) and one large meal in the evening - 5 nights a week. She also helps (though not exclusively) with our pets by walking the dogs once a day. All and all not a bad arrangement for someone who grew up in a dirt floor shack. She is also paid well.

Don’t get me wrong. I am from a very modest background and know economic hardship. That is why I wrote. I am sensitive to the fact there may be something else going on. I am also new to having a staff of people work for me and sought an outside perspective on the issue.

hey, you asked, i answered.

obviously she is not fed for she is stealing some of your food, feed the girl more or i will call the police for starving the poor person

hughes.gra wrote:
Thanks Courtybubble. I realize this is a ‘luxury problem’ and small beans compared to what other people might be going through. However, I do work, very hard in fact, and very long hours but at something other than domestic work and as such do not have time for housework, grocery shopping or meal preparation. We must all make choices in life and mine has been in the direction of work and career.

I am, in fact, providing a living for another human being. She is in my employ of her own choice. She is housed, fed, has excellent medical and dental insurance, 2 weeks vacation including a RT flight home once a year, a nice commodious room, cable television and a private bath. In exchange she need only keep house (I am very neat), do laundry, shop for groceries, prepare a simple breakfast daily (I usually only eat fruit, yoghurt, cereal) and one large meal in the evening - 5 nights a week. She also helps (though not exclusively) with our pets by walking the dogs once a day. All and all not a bad arrangement for someone who grew up in a dirt floor shack. She is also paid well.

Don’t get me wrong. I am from a very modest background and know economic hardship. That is why I wrote. I am sensitive to the fact there may be something else going on. I am also new to having a staff of people work for me and sought an outside perspective on the issue.

and this is all stuff you could do for yourself, all the stuff i do for myself and don’t need a maid to do.

God i hope you don’t have kids which means she is the mother to them

I’ve gone through the same thing and was being polite when I said she needs to come clean with you. As an employer you provide an income and generate opportunities for people.

The rule of thumb on the subject is to fire them immediately even if you don’t know for sure. Even the feeling you don’t trust her is enough. That’s business.

I ignored this rule and thought with my heart and our house keeper stole jewelry, cash and claimed life wasn’t fair. I provided everything. Food, gas, top end cloths, highest pay, the best shoes and paid for things for her child. She stole during all of this with no remorse.

The real rule in business is that you fire the whole staff!
That’s why business people seem nasty. No business, no employees or income. Everybody loses.

To those who don’t understand…..if you need your Doctor to do research or your company president to broker a new deal after hours, would you prefer they where doing the laundry? Maids provide a valuable service that keep some good people and their families together. Cooks do too:)

lol…Dani are you assuming all people that have maids or servants are bad?
Bartenders are temporary servants that work for tips….tip well:)

P.S. thank to a house keeper, we lost a piece of expensive custom made jewelry that was to be handed down to my daughter. It was last seen around a thefts neck. I worked very hard for it and now it’s gone. The theft is still trying to steal and has moved to drugs now so she can feel better about stealing and her son is in jail.

that just kind of adds tot he argument for doing your own housework lol

pffft..I know and do it myself….lol. I just hate making time for it and it cuts into my playing and work time.

Max wrote:
lol…Dani are you assuming all people that have maids or servants are bad?
Bartenders are temporary servants that work for tips….tip well:)

nah they’re not bad, just lazy

You have to determine the degree of theft going on. The maid is stealing food. The chances are she is stealing it for somone in a lowlier position than herself. I would position myself with her and say something to this effect, “It seemes as though the food inventory is off, is there someone you know that needs food?”
Let her know that being honest isn’t going to result in some form of punishment - I’m sure she has a form of humility. And if it becomes clear that she is stealing food on behalf of someone she knows, I would offer a condition that you would meet her dollar per dollar to buy food for this invisable party.
If she has a condition that predisposes her to over-eat - I would look into that out of basic concern for her - with personal regard beyond the professional sense.
Remember, she may work for you, but nothing can “buy” the being of another person more than genuine regard and concern of that person and their view(s).
The partial lyrics of a song go: “you never know just how you look through other people’s eyes.”