Relationships help: I have been in a relationship with a guy for a year. - Help.com



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I have been in a relationship with a guy for a year.

Lately, over the last few weeks, I feel like he just isnt as interested in me anymore. I trust that he isn’t cheating (we’ve both been cheated on before by other people and have verrry strong feelings about that topic). But he doesn’t seem to text or call me very much anymore. The first few months of the relationship he would text me 24/7 and call me at least two or three times a day. When we’re in person, which happens about once or twice a week because we both have busy schedules with work and classes, he acts normal (hugs, kisses, says he loves me). I have brought up the subject a few times over the last month but each time he says im wrong about him not wanting to talk or im imagining things or im overreacting. I feel like I have to force him to call me once before he goes to sleep every day. I’ve tried a few times to just not text or call him at all that day to see if he would call and/or text me without me pushing. But the majority of the time he doesnt bother contacting me at all.

I’m really not sure what to do. I love him. But I hate being upset waiting and waiting for him to show he cares. I dont know if this is a phase and I should stick it out till the old him comes back or breakup with him. I am fully aware that many girls have much worse relationship problems, like cheating or abuse, which makes me wonder if I am expecting perfection instead of being realistic. I also worry about ending the relationship because I do care very much about him, and I do not ever want to cause him pain. I just feel very torn. I want a person who SHOWS that they care by at least calling or texting a few times a week or making an effort to see me or at least help PLAN days that we can hangout. But I am very attached and I care deeply for him.

Any advice or sharing experiences would be helpful. Thank you.

This open post was written 1 month, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 89, 2, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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aris_unlimite offline Verified User (1 month, 2 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

It’s probably just because you guys have been dating for so long. He feels comfortable with you and therefore doesn’t think he has to try so hard. You’ve kind of become a “sure thing” in his mind. He knows you’ll be there.

The same thing happens with lots of guys, after a certain amount of time it’s considered a given that he loves you and you love him.

It is certainly not a bad thing that he acts this way. It means he is about as secure as he can get in your relationship. As for not feeling like you communicate enough, text him, ask him how his day was etc. If you can get him talking he may end up spending more time talking about various things afterwards.

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htcmichael offline Verified User (1 month, 2 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 1 minute after post)

While it is true that relationships change after the courtship has ended, communication remains a constant in any good relationship. By not calling he is communicating. You don’t have to look very hard to see what the message is. Follow you gut on this one . . . words are cancelled by conflicting behavior.

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