Help help: I have a friend that I think I need to break up with. - Help.com



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I have a friend that I think I need to break up with.

She is controlling and a bit of a bully it seems. I really enjoy hanging out with her but I find that she hurts more more than not lately.

First let me say I really don’t have any good friends other than her. I feel alone a lot because I work from home and don’t get to meet too many people. I am married but my husband never wants to do anything so I usually will go out one night a week with this friend. She is 10 years younger than I am, she is single.

I have lent her money, have helped her move all the things a good friend does. Here is the latest issue. This happened yesterday. I am “friends” with a few of her friends on facebook. They added me. Yesterday she sees that I am chatting with one of them and sends me a text that says “I’m not sure I like sharing my friends”. Ok, what does that mean? She then says hers are hers and mine are mine. Controlling.

She downs things I do. I decided to take a class one night a week and she says “why would you want to do that, its stupid”.

I guess I know this is a toxic friendship to begin with but I am just afraid of having no friends. I wonder if she knows this and is just using me herself… I’m not sure what I am looking for here. Maybe some advice on how to end this, am I overreacting?

I appreciate any feedback or input anyone has. Thanks.

This open post was written 5 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 145, 4, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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drailema offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 1 week ago (5 minutes after post)

Look, end it for your own good- she is just using you. You don’t owe her an explaination. Just tell her that you are going to go your own way.

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Gynan Tonix offline Verified User (10 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 11 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 1 week ago (13 minutes after post)

learn to respect yourself.

tell her she’s not to tell you what you can or can’t do, who you can and can’t see. you don’t need to change, she does. if she doesn’t, too bad for her - what goes around, comes around. most likely, your ‘friendship’ will end with you telling her she can’t control you.

i don’t think she sees you as a friend. friends share friends - we even introduce one to another, expanding our networks. so, don’t mind her opinion on the sharing friends thing. she’s about to lose them anyway, if she keeps this up. if they added you, they like you (sort of anyway, never sure with fb) - there’s (potentially) your new circle of friends right there…

and maybe, just maybe, she sees the error of her ways and we saved yet another soul ;)

erinlikesicecream8 offline Verified User (8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 1 week ago (16 minutes after post)

This “friend” does not sound like a friend to me, drop her. It is better to have no friends than to have a friend that treats you like crap. With that said, i think you will be able to find people that will respect you and value you.

good Luck!

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Anonymous #
5 months ago (6 days, 5 hours after post)

Thank you everyone for your feedback. I have not been in touch with her at all. She knows I am angry and therefor has not called me either. A blessing in disguise I believe. I am surprised to see that I am not as upset as I thought I would be. I find that I don’t even think of her very often. I guess I am stronger than I thought I was. Guess that happens when someone hurts you so many times.

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