marriage help: Wife vs Brother. - Help.com



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Wife vs Brother.

After college i moved to Seattle, leaving my now wife in arizona. She joined me a year later and we married 8 months after that. Now nearing our first anniversary my brother has started talking of moving to seattle to be closer to his little brother. Neither my wife or myself have any family here and love that. I’m not fully against his move but my wife sure is. What do i do? Can i tell him that we don’t want him out here. I feel this is causing tension in the mariage. She is now asking if we could leave before or after he moves to avoid him. Is she being selfish or am I? Or my brother?

This open post was written 1 month, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 99, 5, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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courtybubble offline Verified User (2 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 183 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (34 minutes after post)

youre both being selfish.
your brother wants to spend some time with you, unless hes an axe murderer let him. blood runs thicker.

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JoJo offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
Fort Collins, CO, US | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 48 minutes after post)

Is your brother an extremely obnoxious person? Has he done something to offend you? Why exactly do you and/or your wife want to avoid him. It does seem a little odd that you wouldn’t want to be around your brother. Family is something people usually value and treasure. Your not always going to have family around and when they are gone you might wish you had spent more time with them.

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Anonymous #
1 month, 2 weeks ago (12 hours, 49 minutes after post)

My brother is an alcoholic and is immature. His last visit he became hostile when we tried to have a quiete evening without alcohol. Currently he has our mother and step sisters to watch over him. I feel this is a potential burden for a couple of newly weds. How do i reassure my wife it is all going to be ok if i don’t fully believe that.

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JoJo offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
Fort Collins, CO, US | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (18 hours, 1 minute after post)

Ok, that makes some sense. That is a huge burden for a newly married couple to take on or really even anyone to take on. The fact that he right now has people who are taking care of him means he might expect you to be taking care of him if he does move close to you. If I were you, I would just talk to him on the phone and let him know that if he does come to live near you, you aren’t going to be responsible for taking care of him and if he needs someone to take care of him, he better stay where he is. He might not like to hear that and things could be stressful in your relationship, but he is your brother and you can work to repair the relationship. If your wife has made it clear she doesn’t want to be responsible for him and you don’t support her in that desire and need, it could be a very bad sign in your relationship. Be honest with your brother even if it makes him angry. Let him know you care about him but are not in a place in your life where you can take care of him.

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courtybubble offline Verified User (2 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 183 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (20 hours, 45 minutes after post)

Anonymous wrote:
My brother is an alcoholic and is immature. His last visit he became hostile when we tried to have a quiete evening without alcohol. Currently he has our mother and step sisters to watch over him. I feel this is a potential burden for a couple of newly weds. How do i reassure my wife it is all going to be ok if i don’t fully believe that.

then in that case, tell him you want nothing to do with him unless he is sober

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Help me with: Sooooo I was out running with my hellhound, and bent down to pick up her ball….and BOOMCRACKPOPOUCH went something in my back D’:

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