I need an adult to give me advice, no judging. - Help.com

I don’t know of anyone here who has a degree in human psychology but we can give you advice if you’d like to tell us what’s wrong.

Id say you need to finish what you start :P

I have been being molested by my father for the last 5 years, and in the country I live in… if I mention it to anyone, they would ruin my reputation. I told my mother, and she doesn’t believe me. Last night it got really bad, i was so disgusted, I kept throwing up when i went to bed. I made it obvious I know, my pulling his hand out and saying ouf and rolling my eyes, but it keeps going on! he isn’t stopping! im mentally destoryed and im emotionally dead. i dont know what to do. i have a boyfriend and i feel like im cheating on him! i just want to cut myself and end my life, i feel so cheap. someone, anyone help me please!!!

Better to ruin your reputation and save your sanity. I would tell the police. Your father is a sick man and needs to be locked up to protect you and others. It’s not your fault don’t feel bad.

I can’t, I come from an Arab world and believe me people here are so stupid! I don’t know what to do, I can’t take this anymore. I haven’t slept normally in weeks because I am so scared he’s going to come in my room and touch me again. I can’t even talk to my boyfriend about it. I can’t leave my house. I can’t do anything, he’s not letting me!

Yeah I know women really don’t have any rights there. Try peeing on him or doing disgusting things when he comes into your room. What would happen if you hit him with something heavy? I think I would have to fight back somehow.

I can’t, I just lye down there completely dead until he’s done doing what he wants.. and if speak up or say anything, i only get beat up. So i pretend I’m asleep, crying. Hit him? I’m thinking of ways to run away, or just leave. What do I do with my boyfriend? I feel like I’m cheating on him and treating him like ****.. and he didn’t do anything, and im scared to talk to him about it so he doesn’t kill my father.

Maybe your boyfriend is the answer. He could get you out of the house or at least tell your father to back off. You need to confide in someone.

I did to my mother and she didn’t believe me… she couldn’t believe it! And my boyfriend, I’m scared. What if I tell him and he is disgusted from my father? And what if 1 day he comes and asks for my hand in marriage, and he then spits on him or something? I mean, i don’t want to break my family apart because of my little sister. She is still too younger to lose her father.

Oh.
Oh ****.
Where are you exactly?

Is there anyone you can live with? An aunt on your mothers side?
How old r u and how long b4 u can leave home?
Pregnancy is a concern, are u allowed 2 b on birth control?
I am so sorry hun.
It would b good to find someone else in your situation u know, they may help guide u. Could u share a room with a sibiling?
I am so sorry that you cant easily get help in your country.
This is not on!

I think she may be better off without a father.

Dr. Ralph wrote:
I think she may be better off without a father.

agree with that!
Will have a think on your behalf hun.
Hang in there we will all help the best we can.

i agree, tell your bf atleast, perhaps he can do something.
quite frankly i think your father needs to die, your sister would be better of without a father than have a ******* pig like him

I am in saudi arabia, and really people are stupid here. i dont know what to do. i tried seeking help. if i tell you my age, you wouldn’t believe me… i am 25! this has been going on since i finished school… in arab world, you can not leave home unless you are married. if i leave home without being married, i could be in more trouble.

but i will live with the guilt of breaking my family. i put up with it so my family doesnt break, but i am breaking. i feel myself wanting to do stupid things to myself, and i am falling apart. if i leave, i am sorry, means my father took the pc

the worst thing is waking up in the morning feeling so cheap, or going to bed crying. i have never felt alone in my life and i have lost relationship with god because i dont believe he would allow something like this to happen. i am losing myself

hun, you can’t just sit there and let him do that to you,
your family should want you to be happy, getting rid of that horrible man is the only thing you can do. you can’t let guilt get in the way, you have nothing to feel guilty over. this isn’t your fault.
if i were there i would cut that ******* open and strangle him with his own intestines.
Tell your BF! fight!

Anonymous wrote:
I am in saudi arabia, and really people are stupid here. i dont know what to do. i tried seeking help. if i tell you my age, you wouldn’t believe me… i am 25! this has been going on since i finished school… in arab world, you can not leave home unless you are married. if i leave home without being married, i could be in more trouble.

Muhh, I thought so.
Guhh you got the most impossible country out of them all.
Has he..uhh been molesting you or has he done the deed.
I agree with the last few posts you have to tell your boyfriend.

i was raped at 15, and now my father is doing this too me. i am so scared he will kill me, or it’ll kill my mother. i have no more space in my arms to cut. my family want me to be happy, but my mother doesnt believe it. she thinks im making it up for attention. i cant even go speak to a therapist. i cant leave home until i am married. i dont think i will be able to survive. my body is shutting down and i can’t keep crying myself.

then prove it! has that ****** up country ever heard of DNA testing or is that some futuristic nonsense?

Anonymous wrote:
i was raped at 15, and now my father is doing this too me. i am so scared he will kill me, or it’ll kill my mother. i have no more space in my arms to cut. my family want me to be happy, but my mother doesnt believe it. she thinks im making it up for attention. i cant even go speak to a therapist. i cant leave home until i am married. i dont think i will be able to survive. my body is shutting down and i can’t keep crying myself.

Could you please just tell you boyfriend?
Or friend or anybody?
You need support and people around you?
Do you have other close family members?
Does your mom have a brother?
Ask for help from anyone you can trust.
This is disgusting that you can’t even rely on your own parents for help.

there is DNA, but he only touches me and makes me touch him in .. certain areas. he isnt the 1 that raped me, but i was raped. sorry i must go, my father came home! please keep sending me things, i hope it will encourage me to fight for my right, even if it’ll kill me. i will try to be back again today, if not thank you all for help

my family are all not here, they all live outside of saudi. and i am not allowed to use the phone or anything. i will tell my boyfriend, but i am scared he will kill him or leave me. then it will mentally kill me if he did so. my friends will not understand

If it continues, you will be the one who breaks. I don’t think your entire family would break if they knew the disgusting truth about your father. He will be more apt to break and live with the disgraceful things he has done for the rest of his life. The more you stick to witholding your misery, the more things will get worse. You will likely develop what is known as Dissociative Identity Disorder. With that disorder, a person exhibits many different personalities and identities and proceeds to use each one according to their environment. The new indentity behavior is a result of early abuse and trauma. Judging by the length of time that your ordeal has already sustained, you will be a prospective candidate for this disorder. I recommend avoiding any further awful experiences and tell every person who will listen and at least consider believing you. That is the only way you are going to put a halt to this.

Can I just run something by you a moment…

You have a boyfriend ?

Where are your family if not in Saudi?

My suggestion here is MAKE your mother believe you.

Scream and holler blue murder next time he comes into your room! Don’t just lie there. YELL. Fix up a webcam… a tape recorder… do whatever you have to.

Better still, buy yourself a lock and have it fitted. Tell your mother she may enter at any time, but your father may only enter when others are present.

Something I really don’t understand here though…

In Saudi, as you know.. unmarried women cannot “have a boyfriend” can they? So how are you going to tell him? How do you meet and talk?

Tell your boyfriend and ask him to marry u to take u away from the situation?
Do u love your boyfriend?
I hope u r ok hun.

I read the entire thread, and my heart goes out to you. Don’t lose yourself, you can win this. Please take in consideration some of the other suggestions, such as telling your boyfriend, giving your mother proof of your father’s actions, and having your father arrested. I understand not wanting to break up your family, but you wouldn’t want your younger sister to go through what you have, would you?

If you need anything at all please contact me on e-mail. I’ve got some connections and I’ll do anything I can to help. it’s - bright amanda @ rocket mail . com (with no spaces).

May Allah be with you and give you the courage to fight.

Ok hun, You need to tell your boyfriend!!! Even if he gets pissed off and hurts your dad. It is nothing he doesnt deserve. And dont give up on God. He is there. And he knows your pain. But sometimes you have to help yourself. Turn to your boyfriend. He is there for a reason. Good luck, and may you find peace soon.

I was invited to help, but it’s over my head. I sorry you are going through this:( I understand you come from a different culture and the rules are different in that country. I guess all I can recommend is that you seek out Aunts on you mom’s side or other family members. Here we call the police.
I guess there comes a time when you look your mom in the eyes and say….today it stops! Good luck, I wish I could be more help. Maybe members from your country could suggest a plan. You have a battle, but believe me, you are up too the fight! Other’s need a direction too. Here your dad would be in prison for life.

prison is far too good for the bastard, he deserves to have his brains gouged out with a butter knife

sorry im a little late on replying. i was invited to help. i may only be 14 but i can comprehand a lot and my mom is a social worker/psych person. i agree with most of the others when they say to tell your boyfriend. yea so he might get pissed and beat your dad, but he could marry you and hopefully you can get away from all of the bad in your life. your mom doesnt want to accept that her husband has a sick mind. i hope that you dont kill yourself and that soon you wont feel the need to cut anymore. i myself have scars on my arms and legs. i too have been touched down there, only it was by my daycare lady’s husband- hes over 60 years old. i still love him like a grandpa, but i am scared to be alone with him. i am sorry that this still continues at your age. i hope that you find the courage to tell your boyfriend.

SweetBlade wrote:
sorry im a little late on replying. i was invited to help. i may only be 14 but i can comprehand a lot and my mom is a social worker/psych person. i agree with most of the others when they say to tell your boyfriend. yea so he might get pissed and beat your dad, but he could marry you and hopefully you can get away from all of the bad in your life. your mom doesnt want to accept that her husband has a sick mind. i hope that you dont kill yourself and that soon you wont feel the need to cut anymore. i myself have scars on my arms and legs. i too have been touched down there, only it was by my daycare lady’s husband- hes over 60 years old. i still love him like a grandpa, but i am scared to be alone with him. i am sorry that this still continues at your age. i hope that you find the courage to tell your boyfriend.

Not a grandpa….criminal, monster!
Get more support..tell someone else.

Sweetblade, please tell someone about this. You can help stop another day care child being abused. The thing is, who knows what this guy could do next?

Please phone one or both of these numbers and talk things through with them there. It is completely confidential and no-one will judge you or pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do. You need to talk about it because later in life, the events could haunt you terribly - talking now and getting proper support will help to prevent it all from destroying your future happiness in relationships.

http://www.nineline.org/

http://www.rainn.org/get-help/nationa…

Poster, I am sorry to use your post to respond to another person. I hope things are working out for you. I’m very familiar with life in Saudi indeed, so do holler if you need to.. :)