depression help: Having a lot of sleep problems.

DjinnGi

Having a lot of sleep problems.

I’ve been having a lot of disturbed dreams and I keep waking up at about 4am + being unable to go back to sleep. The only thing the Dr can do for me is sleeping pills, which make me groggy and dopey during the day, (which is unacceptable bcz i’m at uni + need my mind to be sharp) and dont stop me from waking up @ 4am. I don’t have that much trouble actually falling asleep as i’m so damned tired at the end of the day - also, i get kinda anxious if i start to get really tired when there are friends still at my flat + i feel impatient for them to go- which is really bad cz having a good time with friends is the only thing that gives me a break from thinking about my ex (until he turns up in my dreams) It’s been going on for the last 6 weeks when my ex and I went on a break. Early in the mornings, I feel like it’s the loneliness actually waking me up. Part of me still cannot understand why he isnt there anymore. As soon as i wake up, I cant help thinking about him + getting upset because I’ll probably never see him again (the break up was all done over the phone + internet so i had no idea that the last time i saw him would be the last). What i really miss most is having someone there to cuddle me + atm 2 help me keep warm, as its very cold in the flat + although i sleep under a mountain of blankets, i still cant quite keep th cold out. Its always been really awkward hugging people. If one of my friends hugs me, i’ll hug them back to be polite, but it feels very uncomfortable. I dont know when its appropriate to hug other people–when they’re upset, i guess thats what they want, but i’m not really sure. With J., I could cuddle him any time i wanted + he’d do the same whenever i was in reaching distance, so i relied on im for all my affection + it wasnt awkward. Now he’s gone i feel this gaping hollowness that nobody else can fill, + it wakes me up at 4 in the morning when there’s no chance of hanging out with my housemates and taking my mind off him.

This open post was written 1 month, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 102, 13, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post DjinnGi may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. DjinnGi is a verified member, has been around for 2 months, 1 week and has 11 posts and 44 replies to their name.

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sleep, sleep disorders, depression, anxiety, Fatigue, loneliness, breakups (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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DjinnGi edited this post 1 month, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

Having a lot of sleep problems.
I’ve been having a lot of disturbed dreams and I keep waking up at about 4am + being unable to go back to sleep. The only thing the Dr can do for me is sleeping pills, which make me groggy and dopey during the day, (which is unacceptable bcz i’m at uni + need my mind to be sharp) and dont stop me from waking up @ 4am. I don’t have that much trouble actually falling asleep as i’m so damned tired at the end of the day - also, i get kinda anxious if i start to get really tired when there are friends still at my flat + i feel impatient for them to go- which is really bad cz having a good time with friends is the only thing that gives me a break from thinking about my ex (until he turns up in my dreams) It’s been going on for the last 6 weeks when my ex and I went on a break. Early in the mornings, I feel like it’s the loneliness actually waking me up. Part of me still cannot understand why he isnt there anymore. As soon as i wake up, I cant help thinking

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DjinnGi changed the tags on this post: they were "" 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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Anonymous #
1 month, 2 weeks ago (15 minutes after post)

I’m sorry you are going through such an awful time but you have identified the actual problem which is good. You’re grieving a relationship that has gone… That alone will do funny things to your body. Trust me i know…. several months after the break up of my relationship and i am still in a sleep pattern that was down to my ex partner’s lifestyle and not mine. I wake at 6am… every morning without fail which is the time he use to finish work… i don’t get to sleep until 2am because he use to ring me on his break which was at 1.30am…. so i function on about four hours sleep a night and just because my body won’t let me forget my ex.

I don’t have any answers for you… i wish i did. With time it does get better… a little anyway…. Someone did suggest to me to set my alarm clock for an hour before i was waking up…. i would then wake and be so tired switch the alarm off and go back to sleep… then sleep through the 6am wake up because my body had been tricked into thinking it had only been asleep for an hour… if that makes sense. I’m not sure if it works because i never actually tried it… but i think that was because i wasn’t ready to give up on the relationship… i am now so i’m going to try it tonight.

DjinnGi 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (23 minutes after post)

ok- ill try out the early alarm thing- right now its like ive got a permanent hangover, im tired all day + iv got a permanent headache…..i dunno…ill see if it makes any difference over the next few days

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Anonymous #
1 month, 2 weeks ago (30 minutes after post)

The headache will be the lack of sleep added to the stress that you are experiencing… Try not to take any pills for it… they don’t help in the long run and you end up taking far too many because you build up an intolenrance. There are loads of natural remedies you can try…. lavender on your pillow… helps you to relax… Another thing that may help…. You have unresolved issues from the relationship…. Write a letter…. Put down everything that you are thinking… everything you want to say to your ex partner….Don’t send it to him…. Put it away somewhere and don’t look at it…. Mark on the calendar one month from the day you wrote the letter….on that date you dig out the letter and read it…. see if there are differences in how you feel now to how you felt then…. then put it away…. keep doing that until you get to the point where you read the letter and the only thing you think is “what the heck was i thinking back then”…. Then you burn the letter.

DjinnGi 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (41 minutes after post)

yh - i wrote him a letter a week ago which is still unsent–im still in 2 minds whether to send it, so i know iv done all i can to tell him the things ive been needing to say to him–get proper closure i suppose–its only then i feel i can start putting him behind me

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Anonymous #
1 month, 2 weeks ago (45 minutes after post)

Don’t send the letter…… You have had closure…. He ended the relationship…. If you send the letter you get about one minute of relief from doing so….. you then spend days, weeks, months wondering why he hasn’t responded, did he get it, if he did it must mean he didn’t care. If you do get a response from him you then start wondering if he still loves you, have you got a chance….. Trust me either way it’s not the life you want to be living for the next few weeks or months.

DjinnGi 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (59 minutes after post)

I know he wont respond - and i know he doesnt love me anymore. I ended the relationship as i couldnt take the way he was shutting me out yet keeping me hanging on in the periphery. He decided we should ‘go on a break’ about 6 weeks ago whilst we were having an argument, and since that time up until we split 2 weeks ago, i was SO careful not to talk about emotional stuff -i just talked about mundane things, what he was doing, pretty much just bigging him up, when all the time i desperately needed to finish what id been saying to him about the way he’d been treating me + how it was making me feel + what the ‘break’ was doing to me. I’ve been hanging in mid conversation since that argument 6 weeks ago and i need my voice to be heard - even if he throws the last letter in the bin, at least iv done all i can do to get rid of some of this turmoil–(its not in any way a begging letter, it just says that although i still love him very much, i know full well that his feelings have burned out + explaining a few other personal things) It seems like it needs to be done. I already sent him a begging letter just after ‘the break’ was announced, so i cant really embarrass myself any more than i have done already.

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Anonymous #
1 month, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 10 minutes after post)

Oh dear…. I’ve so been where you are now…. The need to be heard… the need to voice what i am thinking…. the need to say i love you but…. the need to send that last letter..

I truely understand what you are going through… i really do. The letter you have is a begging letter but you’ve convinced yourself that it is something else… You’re hoping that he will respond in a positive way… that he says he can’t live without you and will change and everything will be ok….

Shall i tell you how this story ends….. if you’re lucky you send the letter and he never responds…. you eventually meet someone else and get over it.

If you are unlucky…. like i was…. he’ll respond…. he’ll come back into your life,….. he’ll turn it upside down again and then the same problems that were there the first time round are still there….. you end up back at square one….. heart broken and fighting to get through each day again.

Trust me i’ve been there…. Don’t send the letter…. You’ve said what you needed to say…. he just doesn’t need or want to hear it.

DjinnGi 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 22 minutes after post)

I know that i still want him, and I know that i want him to want me again–he’s gonna be back at college in about 5 weeks for graduation, where i’ll see him because im playing in the band, and i know he’ll probably blank me completely–i know he’s not coming back and that i have to come round to the idea of eventually accepting someone else, but right now, i havent said everything i’ve needed to say, because he hasnt let me. I deserve 1 last chance to be able to say all the stuff that iv been bottling up for so long.

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Anonymous #
1 month, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 25 minutes after post)

I wish i could let you see into the future…. i really do….. To save you so much heartache.

I think you’re going to have a lot more heartache over the next few months but it’s such early days for you anything i say will wash off your back.

DjinnGi 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 31 minutes after post)

its gonna be heartache no matter what really as its definatley not going to go the way id like it to go–but thanks for the sympathetic ear–as my alarm’s set to go off before 4am, id better get my head down + i hope your sleep (+ love) situation improves.
Cheery-bye

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