pregnancy help: I am in need of some help to pay for my rent…I am a single - Help.com

If the father of your children has hit hard times why on earth are you pregnant again?

I’m sorry if that is harsh…. everyone hits hard times but i don’t understand why you’ve choosen to bring another child into the world when you can’t support the four you already have.

People on here may be able to offer support and advice but you are unlikely to receive any money… most of us are in the same boat struggling to get by…. I hope your situation improves soon.

Sounds like even when you were working you were only surviving in low paying jobs, hardly a career, much less a foundation for 5 kids. Looks like a lifetime of bad choices to me and you are probably still young. Now your stuck. Well the good news for you is that since you have children you can probably get some state aid. Of course that means we all as taxpayers will have to pay for your stupidity.

I’m sorry everything has happened at once for you…. certainly your circumstances couldn’t be much worse at the moment but all i can do is advise you with practical things… Check out your rights with employment law regarding your job… there must be something to safe guard you against unfair dismissal. Your ex has moved and mya not be earning as much as he was but he really does have to pay towards his kids… and not what he can afford when he can afford it…. His kids come first…. They can’t wait in the hope that daddy sends money for rent or food this week…. you need to sort out a regular payment that he sticks to. Maybe you could get help with baby sitting by sharing childcare with someone else in the same boat although i suspec if you are pregnant as time goes on the likelihood of you actually being able to work and then come home to watch your four kids plus someone elses is pretty slim…. but not impossible. And lastly i suggest you look into any kind of assistance you may be entitled to…. I hope it works out for you…. and keep yourself and children safe.

You simply cannot support another child. put it up for adoption.
apply for state aid, and take any job you can get. ANYTHING. apply for state grants for childcare.

EVERYONE is hurting for money right now. we are in a recession. how exactly has anyone been rude? youve recieved advice on how to make it through, if you were expecting more, then you will not find it here.

sorry, I dont understand why people get heckled for having “too many” kids
Ive seen little nick post cyberbegging sites up for people in a hard spot, i cant remember what they are but I do know one

http://www.modestneeds.org/

id do a run of all your local charities and churches and see what they can offer to help you, some can offer you food so that will leave you with extra money to pay your rent, some will offer to help pay your bills and hopefully some will give you free financial advice and help you draw up a budget that can get you through this, if your really lucky one might even provide free childcare or know of a place that would help you out with childcare. The main thing is, get your story out there and you never know what you may be offered, maybe even a new suitable job!
if you feel a bit wierd about this do a spring clean and see what clothes, linen, kitchen ware ect you can donate to them as a gift of thanx

the point, anon, is that children are expensive. if you cannot even support the family you have now, why add another to the mix?

for a start, courty, I wasnt talking directly to or about you
and second this woman is having a difficult month, this does not amount to her entire family life, it happens to the best of us no matter how many kids, tough times strike at any time and it does not mean u should give up straight away with no hope for the future

a bad month that will probably be followed by another. money isnt going to magically appear out of nowhere.
i didnt say you were talking to me, you never mention a name or who you were talking to. if you answer on a post, anyone can then reply to you.

wow, a bad few months means we should simply give up our children! before they are even born no less
fraid to say children arnt a mere commodity to be traded in at will simply cause your having a bad time, my grandparents raised 8 children during the depression, and like so many other families, they made it through without giving up on their children.
I myself am raising 2 children of my own while my partner adds another 3 to the mix
he was out of work for 6 months due to cut backs while I was out of work for over a year for health issues, we did it hard, falling behind on our rent and racking up a lot of debt, but you know what, we made it through without giving any of us up, we’re both now back at work and have almost paid of our debt while living comfortably again
if we can do it then why cant this poster make it through, why does the easiest answer need to be giving up an unborn child which can and most probably will have a profound and long lasting effect on the whole families lives rather than a few months of hardship

why would you bring another child into a family that is already struggling to raise, feed and clothe the 4 already present?
when there are plenty of families who are quite capable of providing looking for children to care for? doesnt make sense.

I was the first person to post in answer to this post…. and i didn’t understand why someone would be in the circumstances that at the poster is… the poster then explained…. Which is all you can ask for. She’s not here to be got at about her circumstances… she’s here for a listening ear and some advice…. Lets remember that this is HELP.com…. not Have a pop at.com.

I guess it wouldnt make sense to you but as someone who knows what its like to raise a large family during times of hardship it makes perfect sense to me that while adoption may be a wise choice for someone who feels strongly that they would not be able to cope its a cop out for someone who is merely having a short period of hardship and knows they can keep their family adequately comfortable in the long run
And I dare say that having 4 children already, the expense of children has already been acknowledged

Anonymous wrote:
I was the first person to post in answer to this post…. and i didn’t understand why someone would be in the circumstances that at the poster is… the poster then explained…. Which is all you can ask for. She’s not here to be got at about her circumstances… she’s here for a listening ear and some advice…. Lets remember that this is HELP.com…. not Have a pop at.com.

lol, see your point there anon
gracefully bowing out and wishing the best for op :)
a lot of families have been there, and mostly they pull through with a new sense of family togetherness :)

no i dont have children, because i know i could not financially support one.