Love help: Married, 31y father of 2. - Help.com



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Married, 31y father of 2.

My wife changes her mind almost daily regarding the future of our marriage and if she loves me. Over the past month, she has dropped 20 lbs and now has decided she wants to be on birth control after begging her in to staying home and not to leave 2 nights ago (I asked numerous times before, never wanted to “start back on them” a few years ago). Claims she “lied” one week ago when she told me she wanted to work things out. Also told me during the respective begging session “Would it help if I said there was someone else? There isn’t, but would it help?”.

Should I see the writing on the wall that there is someone else?

This open post was written 1 month, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 93, 4, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Cell offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 64 #
Winnipeg, MB, CA | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (51 minutes after post)

I don’t think there is anyone else.

Don’t beg her to stay with you anymore.

Just tell her that you lover her and that you are willing to do what it takes to try to make the marriage better (counseling, read marriage books, talk with a pastor, a vacation for the 2 of you, etc.). Tell her that children do better if their parents have a good relationship. Then leave the decision up to her.

If she still wants to leave it is terribly disappointing and heart breaking but it is her choice. Begging just makes it seem that you aren’t worth her. Which isn’t true. I’m sure you’re a great guy who should be treated with kindness and respect.

Continue to affirm your love for her and your desire for her to stay but don’t beg her. Just walk away from the conversation. If she comes to her senses- great - but if not…there’s nothing you could have done anyway.

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Help me with: I’m feeling a little lost…When you have your own business how do you know how to prioritize?
zkin offline Verified User (1 month, 3 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (57 minutes after post)

Thanks. She’s refusing counseling so I really don’t know what to do. Left lunch with her earlier and she said she loved me. Then called her and got nothing in return when I told her at the end. Just “bye”.

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Anonymous #
1 month, 3 weeks ago (4 hours, 8 minutes after post)

It sounds as if she’s having trouble facing her own personal issues and is in part taking them out on you. She may have mixed feelings and not know which way to turn. Maybe by being “dramatic” she’s in a way asking for help (even though it’s not the best way to do it) If she’s not willing to go to counseling, even for herself, it may not be a good sign for the relationship. What about the kids?

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Cell offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 64 #
Winnipeg, MB, CA | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (4 hours, 19 minutes after post)

This is about dating but maybe would help a little:

http://ca.dating.personals.yahoo.com/…

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Help me with: I’m feeling a little lost…When you have your own business how do you know how to prioritize?

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