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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

WHAT THE BISCUITS!!?!?!?!?!??!!

Okay, background for anyone not up to speed.
For reasons we will not go into (because we’ll disagree about it and argue) I got a$$ fooked by the law. I got a sh!t load of community service, a 1600 quid fine, stuff like that.

Now to pay the fine, we need money yeah? Okay.

I’m at college full time so a job too would kill me, I still tried to get one but this is a small, small town and being in the paper as a teenage criminal is not exactly helpful from a career point of view, so that failed before it began.

So I thought, okay, let’s get a college grant.

I haven’t applied for it as of yet because I don’t like the idea of taking taxpayers money, as much as that concept might sound odd to modern English people, one of which I am. So I need a bank account to get that, right? Okay so let’s get a bank account.

Oh, except, when I was like 13/14 years old, I ran up a moderate sized debt on eBay. Now I dunno about the legality of it seeing as I wasn’t legally allowed to use the service etc. but the relevance to this tale is, it means I am refused a bank account.

Okay, so no bank account = no money = not able to pay a fine.

If I don’t pay this fine, I’ve been told I could face a custodial sentence. Now for anyone not legally clued up that can range from house arrest, to jail.

We’re talking about a 19 year old mentally unstable kid here. With no money. What the fook are they thinking?!

Let’s highlight the mentally unstable part of the saga. I’ve been told by each of the few doctors I’ve been to that it’s like 6 different things, and obviously it’s not all (if any) of those things so who knows what’s going on in the brain box (see some of my older posts for descriptions of symptoms). And as yet I still have not seen any help apart from having medication shoveled at me. And it did not help in any way.

So there’s that.

Okay, now I live with my dad still, because otherwise we’d both be on our own and neither of us has ever particularly cared for that idea. Except if I don’t start bringing money into the house, then I’m not allowed to live here anymore. As we’ve seen the money is not such a simple issue, so that’s fooked too. Also on the family side, none of them so much as talk to me now anyway because of all the crap that has gone on.

Amidst all this, I’m struggling to attend and pass a college course in Graphic and Media Design, which although it might seem like it’s easy because it’s essentially drawing and computer work, it’s not that simple.

Being dragged back to court constantly because of the finance issues and sh!t like that, so there’s another heap of stress.

Half of my friends have gone off to university, or other similar things, so my support there is dwindling. Not to say the ones I have left aren’t awesome, of course they are, but in honesty I feel barely any connection with most people.

SO, there’s all that, and it’d all seem fooked up, but by far the most difficult part is my own brain, it’s meeeeelting and eating itself at the same time. I have no idea how to deal with it in a positive way, I mean blah blah I’ve said all this part before on here, but yeah it’s tough business.

There’s a wealth of other issues, but I’m just stressing myself out more thinking about it all so I’m going to leave it here.

SOOOOO what the heck am I supposed to do about all this?