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Giving thanks for surviving Thanksgiving!

Alright I need some independant analysis here.

Act 1 - Plans go awry

My mother, wife and son got together at my mother’s country home for thanksgiving. Ahead of time my wife offered to make an apple pie to help out with the cooking since my mother would take on the enormous task of turket, stuffing etc..

At my mother’s (sunday morning) my wife went to make the pie when my mother announces that there is simply not enough room in the oven and that she has made a chocolate cheesecake to take the place of the apple pie. My wife is furious but passive aggressively says nothing.

Act 2 The turkey (in this case me)

I am eating my turkey with dread knowing that the inevitable desert is coming. My wife has told me that I am not to eat that **** cheesecake as that would be to condone the act of disrespect that my mother showed her.

Act 3 - The desert

My mother calmly asked who wants cheesecake. My wife quickly replies “not me!”. To which my mother simply nods half expecting this. My son replied ” I hate cheesecake I want ice cream”, while upset my mother nods again and got my son the ice cream. Young enough to get a free pass - **** I was counting on him to eat the **** cheescake and relieve my pressure.

My mother turns to me “Well son how about it?” My wife glares at me and smiles as though daring me to do it, as if she will relish the creative ways she will make me suffer for this. “Ummm… I’m really full” I say hoping the beileve as I have eaten an ungodly amount to make excuse at least seem credible.

My mother wisks off to the kitchen only to reappear a moment later with a piece of cheesecake which she places in front of me.

“Here you go” she says. ” You musn’t of heard me say that I didn’t want any…” and there it is in front of me that damned cheescacke, chocolate no less.

I choose to deflect ” Son it is simply unacceptable that you not at least try something before you determine that you don’t like it. Here try at least one bite of this.” I say to my son with a pleadin look liekk save daddy.

My son comes over scrunches up his nose and has a bite “Yuck”.

Oh boy - why couldn’t he just eat it.

Act 4 Saved by the dog

The dog came over to me and when neither woman was looking I fed the dog my cheescake. My wife this caught out of the corner of her eye (thank god - she knows I didn’t eat it!). Whew I was good, mother happy - wife satisfied.

Lived to tell the tale of another Thanksgiving.

I have chosen to tell this through humour to avoid crying:) Truly I did propose that we all act like adults and address the real issues but no one seems to want to do things that way.

Straw poll - who was more out of line here:

Mother trumping kind offer by making Cheescake or
Wife childishly insisting I not eat Cheesecake.

As always your feedback is appreciated.

Cheers,

KMM

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