My daughter’s father has a son, that our daughter would LOVE to meet.

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My daughter’s father has a son, that our daughter would LOVE to meet.

The last time I heard of him was back in 1994. He and his mother came to California to see their my ex and to “take him back”. Anyway to make a long story short, when she called our house at the time, he hung up the phone on her. Several times and did not go see his son. I had just had our daughter and was trying to stay out of the way of all the maddness that was taking place in front of me. Now, my daughter is 15 and wants to see and know her sibling. I have only limited information regarding her brother, but I did speak with my ex’s sister who gave me a name of his son’s aunt that lives in nearby. I don’t know if I should contact the aunt for my daughter or not. I don’t want her to be disappointed. I know that his ex knows that he has another child. From what I understand she was bitter towards me thinking I was the reason he would not come see their son. In fact, I was not the reason. We both just choose a sorry excuse of a man to make babies with. How can I start this search?

This open post was written 1 month, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 94, 5, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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littlenick 130 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

You’re bound to reopen old wounds and you don’t even know if the lady wants what you want. As you say, she probably thinks you’re the reason why the guy did not want to see his son.

Let sleeping dogs lie. You might expose your daughter to unnecessary disappointment and rejection. I don’t think you want to do that. I would have kept that part from your daughter. Was it really necessary for her to know that she had a sibling? Was it really necessary for her to know the story about how her father fathered other children and did not live up to the responsibilities? I don’t think so. I could see if it was an emergency (medical) or even if you actually knew them and they lived close by where your daughter and her “brother” might end up hooking up romantically but I don’t really see any benefit to it.

I would leave it alone.

But, it’s up to you and your daughter.

If you already planted the seed, I don’t think your daughter is going to leave it alone.

Good luck.

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Da⌐11 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

Where it me; I would wait till my daughter where 18 and have her do the work to meat her brother. This is not a trivial thing and she should want to have it enough to work for it and than be old enough to deal with the consequences when they occur.

If you still must do this; try facebook. everyones on there now :)

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WHATABIGNICKNAM 2 #
GB | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (27 minutes after post)

contact the aunt and hope you find your daughters half brother,even if they say no at less you tried and theres no harm in that

rbunn 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (43 minutes after post)

Thank you for all your input. LittleNick, I was not the one who got this ball rolling. My daughter has always known she had an older brother, so I was not opening up any old wounds, he is the one that told her about that, my daughter is very mature for her age so her and her dad are very honest with each other, when he is around. I didn’t have to tell her anything about our relationship, he did that.

I believe all this is coming from the fact that she has a sister who is 7 and they have been hit it off fabulously. If anybody had opened up any old issues it’s dad. Even her sister knows about him. What I don’t like is for him to tell her about her brother and leave her looking at me for closure. I don’t think it will be any MAJOR consequences to any of this, babygirl is VERY well adjusted and just wants to know if he is ok, I guess. She has already been on Facebook and MySpace looking for him, no luck.
So, either I help her or let her continue working blindly. Either way, we have no secrets; they always come to light then what….”why didn’t you tell me I had a brother” conversation start and suddendly, I am the bad guy. I have already told her that he may not be receptive to all this, if he even knows about her and her little sister.

rbunn 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (45 minutes after post)

Oh, i forgot to say, that her brother is not a child anymore, he should be about 20ish now.

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My daughter’s father has a son, that our daughter would LOVE to meet. - Help.com