How to increase your confidence and self esteem
By Karen Cotton a writer and contributor to wikihow
Have you ever thought “I wish I could do that” but never quite felt brave enough to even say it aloud? Do you envy your work colleague who never says no to a new activity or opportunity to challenge herself? We can be our own worst critics and enemies in stopping ourselves from achieving all that we want in life. Follow these steps to quiet down your inner critic and you will soon be able to seize every new opportunity that comes your way!
Step 1
No one can boost your esteem like you can. In the bathroom mirror every day, look yourself square in the eye and remind yourself out loud of just how great you are with three affirmations.
Big yourself up with phrases such as: “I’m confident, energetic and ready to grab life by the horns” or “I’m bubbly, outgoing and downright gorgeous.”
Step 2
We are our own best saboteurs, so when you catch yourself using phrases that begin “I’ll never” or “I won’t”, stop immediately and turn that negativity into a positive. So rather than ‘I’ll never lose weight’, say “I will lose weight if I make sure I go to the gym and eat heathily”
Step 3
Negative thoughts feed self esteem, so always try to give even the darkest thought a positive glint by being proactive. If you see that the house is messy, rather than thinking “It’s always a mess”, be proactive and think “How can I help get this place clean?”.
Step 4
Watch your language. Do you regularly speak to yourself in a way you wouldn’t even speak to your worst enemy? Do you refer to yourself as an idiot or stupid? Do you degrade yourself in front of others or constantly come across as apologetic? This is your subconscious trying to buffer yourself from others’ criticism, however you need not berate yourself for a silly mistake. After all, you’re only human. Next time you’re about to abuse yourself verbally, remind yourself that at least you tried and even if you got it a bit wrong this time, you’ll soon have it right every time with effort.
Step 5
Take as many risks, within reason of course. If you’re invited to try a new sport or join an exercise class, seize the opportunity. What’s the worst that can happen? You might make a mistake or two, but you’re a newcomer - it’s expected!
Step 6
When you make a mistake, try to view it as an opportunity to learn. Simply beating yourself up isn’t going to help you achieve anything apart from an increased feeling of being unworthy.
Step 7
When meeting people, greet them with a smile and look them in the eye. By conveying this self-confidence and respect you will gain the respect of the person you are meeting.
Try to keep conversations upbeat and positive. This will distract you from negative thoughts as well as keep your company interested and positive about their interactions with you.
Step 8
Learn to accept a compliment. Hard to believe, but some people can do it far too easily. While it can be difficult, rather than immediately giving yourself a put down or disregarding to the nice thought of the giver, just say ‘Thank you’ and embrace it.
Tips & Warnings
* Never forget that a low self esteem or lack of confidence is not a terminal condition. You’re definitely not broken, just knocked about a bit. Time and the determination to change your path are the best healers of all.
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