Mind help: I Feel nothing, no emotions, no feelings, just nothing - Help.com

I agree with piquepoc. I had this feeling for quite a while. I had something trigger mine though. I ended up going to therapy because I had a break down. Turns out what triggered my behavior was just the tip of the iceberg, I ended up talking about a lot of stuff that I didn’t really realize bothered me before. I honestly suggest going to a therapist. The thing is though, if you go you are going to have to decide ahead of time to be cooperative and make sure to talk about anything the therapist wants to talk about or it won’t work.

Thanks for your response guys, i really wasn’t sure if anyone would write back to me. I have been thinking of seeing an NLP person to try and understand what my problem is. The other thing that scares me, is that i have been wondering how i would feel/behave if something tragic like death happened to anyone around me…….would i feel anything? surely i would have to. Also, my partner and I have been discussing having children in the not so different future, but what if i feel nothing much for the child when it is born. What if i am not elated as i should be. If i am unable to feel extremes of any particular emotion right now, then i’m just so confused how i would be when facing unique circumstances.

I don’t know how it would be for you, but I had extremes happen to me when I was in this rut. I honestly still felt nothing. And I had never thought to go to a therapist. I finally decided to go when I woke up in the middle of the night crying…..had no idea why I was crying at all. Scared the crap out of me. My theory now is sensory overload. You don’t have emotions long enough and all that stuff builds up until it forces itself out.

Thanks Aris, so if you don’t mind me asking, what did your therapist say? Are you better now? What practical steps did you take to cure yourself?

Well mine came from years of mental abuse and trauma. I never realized how much I had to talk about this stuff until the therapist started focusing on it. The therapist did suggest that I take anti-depression medication, but I am not a big person for mind altering substances. I believe that anyone can change into who they want to be without the use of prescription (or other) drugs. So I continued therapy never taking the medication and my therapist was good enough not to press the issue. After I started to feel better, I’d say about 33% better or so. I left therapy. I needed to get to the point where I could confide in the people around me rather than someone I paid to listen. The first few months out of therapy were occasionally difficult, but that helped me too become closer to my wife.

I do now confide in my wife and my father in law more. I still keep my blood relatives at a small distance, but they are the ones responsible for this outcome so I don’t feel the least bit bad about that part lol. I still visit my family and talk to them, but I make sure too keep them at a healthy distance emotionally.

Being around my wife mainly now I have begun to see some serious differences in my behavior. I am happy more often, and it makes a big difference that I can trust her completely. Everyone needs at least one person in their life that can be everything they need them to be.

I am also the type of person that is very much a fixer. I like to help (fix) people and do what I can for them. I have always enjoyed myself in publice service type jobs (law enforcment, firefighter) because I get to help people. I am no longer a part of that world, so it actually helps to come on here and talk to people. It makes me feel better about myself because I am at least trying to make a change in other peoples lives for the better.

All in all, I would say the 2 most important parts are finding someone you can trust completely in your personal life. And doing something that makes you feel good about yourself. Something you have always been passionate about. It helps to have the support of another person and the morale boost that you get by doing stuff that makes you feel good is also important.

Although I do think that it is important to see a therapist first. They can help get you on the right path, and when you feel comfortable enough to try it on your own you can just stop going to therapy.

Thanks so much for taking the time out to write back, i really do appreciate it. Somehow writing to total strangers feels like therapy in itself. I guess when i think about it, there must be stuff in my childhood which manifests itself in how i am feeling right now.

In fairness, i feel i had a happy childhood overall. However my ‘role’ within the family has become that of mediator, problem-solver, mentor, listener, negotiator, trouble-shooter etc etc. I have realised that many friends and family come to me to resolve their own daily issues, and i never turn them away, as i (like you) like to help people and find it difficult to turn anyone away.

Over time, i think the burden of carrying everyone else’s **** has worn me down. Particularly as i now run a businesses and often feel i have no-one to lean on myself, and put on a brave face to the rest of the world. Whilst i think i can handle a lot, i think overtime, the stress of the business, everyone’s expectations of me (my family expect a lot from me) and perhaps being the water carrier for everyone has worn me out. I left my home country and moved abroad, and got away from a lot of things for a while, but i do feel isolated myself sometimes, but not in a lonely way. In a ‘who’s there for me when i have a problem’ kind of way.

Maybe this is why i have shut off from most emotions, perhaps shielding myself, i don’t know. If i have unconsciously shut my-self off, I want to find out how to turn those feeling back on.

I recently wrote a book for a project i’ve been working on. I completed it at a pretty fast-track pace, and the editing process was tiring and intense. Anyhow, the other day over 500 copies of my book were delivered to house. I flicked through the 200 page book, and felt nothing….no sense of achievement, no joy, no pride, simply nothing. My husband came back from work, and commented positively how it was ‘amazing’ and he was so proud of me etc etc…..yet i had no sense of ownership and kind of didn’t care. It’s these small incidents, that make me realise that i don’t want to feel nothing. I have to feel something surely.

I will take your advice and go and speak to someone. I have also been recommended meditation, which i think i will also try. I’m pleased that you have worked/are working things out.