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Its been 8 years since I’ve spoken to her.
I don’t thing she will ever speak to me again.
Last night I came across my ex on twitter. It didn’t end very well between us. It was a long distance relationship, over 3000 miles. I was 18 and she was 16. We had been chatting on the internet and calling each other for nearly 2 years sharing pretty much everything. When I had came back from 3 weeks of being with her things just didn’t seem to be the same between us and after a week or two of chatting to her on the phone she told me she didn’t want a relationship with me anymore but still wanted to be friends. I fought with her for a month about this. I felt so emotionally drained. On the last night I talked to her I called her a daemon and every other word under the sun. I told her that I hated her and wish I never met her. I even posted her back every item she ever gave me which came back to me again.
Over the years I’ve tried a lot to get over her but dreams and emotions for her would still keep coming back. I tried anti-depressants, herbal remedies, talking to doctors, talking to close friends, posting on the internet, over working, exercising. Avoiding movies, songs, colours, weather, materials, smell’s. Dating. Nothing gets her out of my mind. I’ve thought a lot about going back to find her but I’m too scared to go thru with it.
Every October I get especially strained because that’s when it ended.
When I seen her last night on twitter I just had to communicate something to her. I just had to say sorry. I created an account and said Sorry for calling you a daemon Sorry I wasn’t a friend Sorry I haven’t been there I always hope that things work out for you I always pray for you Forever bye wmd.
I don’t know if I done the right thing. I just know that I needed to communicate something. I just know that I feel that my soul has been missing. I made being with her my dream.
This open post was written 1 month, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 107, 4, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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