Money help: I am so lost I have done something terrible - Help.com

Just tell her. If she loves you she’ll most possibly forgive you, then again you never know with woman.

You should tell her. I am sorry. This situation must be incredibly difficult. But you must tell her before she discovers it in front of family and/or friends.

She is going to find out one way or another.

Ah man, if you want to save your marriage, you need to tell her, point blank and honest. It will go better for you if you try to re-establish trust now, than to allow her to find out in a way that brings her embarassment and shame. This will break the trust barrier perhaps for good. Telling her now allows you to build on something- a foundation.

Your wife is supposed to be there for you to help you through your moments of weakness and faults. And it is your responsibility to allow her the opportunity to help you, to see you through this, and to help you not only get the money back through extra means and budgeting, but in order for you to beat this gambling, you have to be honest now, rather than cover this up and tell her later- or never.

Speaking as a wife, I would rather know now- and having the ability to make a choice to help fix the problem, than to be forced into a situation that was unessessary and more damaging than knowing before hand.

It’s done, the money is gone, and I know it makes the world go round, but quite honestly it should not have anything to do with your marriage vows and why you are married in the first place.

For better or for worse… a marriage cannot survive on lies, or cover ups… if she doesn’t find out now, eventually she will and believe you me, the sooner the better. Finding out many years after the fact does harm- and sometimes that harm cannot be repaired because time creates a distance of trust.

I am truly sorry you are going through this, but sit down with your wife, be honest, don’t make up excuses or stories. You made a mistake and tell her that you realize you should have told her when it happened. Do not try to put buts, or if only’s in it… that does its own damage.

I would also suggest seeking out gambling counciling-

There’s going to be some trust/ money issues, and she may want total control of the pocket book and accounts. It would be wise to give that to her to help establish your willingness to be a husband and not a lone soldier in the marriage…

Tell her before she hears it from someone else.