Love help: I don’t know what to do… My relationship has me so depressed that it’s almost impossible not to cry myself to sleep every night. - Help.com

You caught her with another man and you are still with her? What is making you depressed exactly? The way she treats you, or hasn’t been treating you? It doesn’t seem like you are happy in this relationship. I am all for giving chances, but if you gave one and you are still living in this awful state of mind… there is a problem you need to take a look at from different stances. Try talking to her about how you feel and see how she takes it.

“kissed and cuddled but nothing more.”

You seriously don’t find that a bit over the line?
It could be a sign that she is obviously cheating on you, talk to her about it and dump her.

SirTannen wrote:
“kissed and cuddled but nothing more.”

You seriously don’t find that a bit over the line?
It could be a sign that she is obviously cheating on you, talk to her about it and dump her.

I do find that over the line. In the recurring nightmares everything happens the same way it did in reality except for my reaction. Sometimes I do leave her, often I end up harming myself in some horrible way. In reality there was a lot of yelling and a lot of crying and we ended up agreeing to work it out. I say it like that because I don’t want people getting the idea that they slept together since they didn’t. We’ve talked a lot about the situation, since we really do want to be together. I told her if she wanted to leave me she could and I wouldn’t hold anything against her, that it’d hurt me less if we broke up than if something like this happened again. The problem is that she loves us both equally, it took a while for me to actually understand or believe that. In her ideal world everyone can love whoever they love and have them all, polyamory. I can’t handle that, neither can this other guy’s girlfriend. I’ve explained to her how I feel, deep down at the very root of things and she’s accepted that, knows she can’t have both and even if she left me, she wouldn’t be able to have him since he wants to make things work with his own girlfriend. But she still talks and looks at him in ‘that way’ and it breaks my heart, still refers to him with things like ‘dear’. I can handle it to some extent but it hurts when it’s obvious to me. I really just wish the nightmares would fade. This happened back in April.

Ugh, I know what you’re going through and I really think you should just move on and find someone who loves you and does not try to get together with others behind your back. Because I seen this stuff happen before and I really don’t think things will get any better.

They’ve been improving steadily though it’s just that it’s all so messed up. I love her and I really -do- want to be with her, it just hurts that this all happened. Everything I thought knew about love has been shattered, everything I believed. I never thought this would ever happen to me and just devastated my concept of reality and priorities. I feel like I let it happen too, like I was too trusting and could have stopped it but things happen the way they happen =(. I honestly don’t think it will happen again but I wouldn’t be able to handle it if they did.

You’re suppose to be trusting.

why are you with her so?

She doesn’t deserve you

But go ahead if you wanna keep feeling like this then that’s your choice

Just realize that this girl is not your whole world. In fact she is making your world crumble. Your too focused on her and her life rather then your own. Start focusing on what makes you happy. NOT her. You do need to figure out your priorities and she apparently is not the top one of them at the moment. Priorities change from day to day. Right now it sounds like you need to prioritize whats more important: your happiness, your school, or this girl. Focus more on school and making yourself happy.
Good Luck my friend