How do I get over someone special?
Well.. exactly how special? It’s tricky but I’ll try to explain so please bear with me.
It’s this girl.. whom I have known for years. Well I’ve done more than knowing her some of this time. Here goes.
You could call it love at first sight, you could call it true love and deep love. Well I’m not the falling in love type of guy (yeah we all say that :P) but I just don’t normally and especially not in this way. If I can avoid it I will, if I can ignore it I will, if I can escape from it I will and if I can deny it I often do, perhaps too often. This however I can do neither. She struck me like a bolt of lightning, you know the kind? From a blue sky? One look from her and I was never the exact same again. Oh I can still remember the first look she sent me, the first smile.. I kinda have to remember both if I remember one, we where just looking into each others eyes that (fateful?) day.
This girl is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and I never thought I could say that honestly about anyone, she just takes my breath away. I quickly started to care for her, and before I knew it ..a lot. More than any others.
Forgive me, I’m rantin’.
Well I said I’m not the guy who goes falling for the “first and the best”, remember? I’m not that much into relationships either, and I didn’t realize how special this girl was to me. So it felt all oh so complicated and so confusing that my head was spinning. After a while I deleted her phone number, tried not to contact her and boy that was hard. Normally I don’t use the phone and such much but this poor girl.. I couldn’t go without her for 10 minutes. So I tried to forget, tried to get over her but it just wouldn’t stop hurting. for a while I didn’t even understand why it hurt. Well she contacting me and coming over with mutual friends didn’t make things easier and I just couldn’t forget her, no matter how hard I tried.
But after a while contact finally ceased but it still hurt inside, god I was a fool.. Allthough there where many reasons why it was so complicated, which I’m not going to bother you with, at the least not now. :p
Anyhow, we only saw eachother sporadically the next years. But I was just acting weird around her, dunno why but almost as if she scared me. Maybe she did, I was thinking that I had to avoid any contact with her or I’ll fall for her again. …Which I’ll come back to. I was sure of it.
Several years later, I don’t know what happened.. We had both moved from our home town, she lived 250km away and I started contacting her over some online community. Feelings arose, the exact same emotions I had so many years before. I was dreaming of her at night… and she was dreaming of me… Before I knew it we where together.. in a relationship and we hadn’t even seen eachother for about 4 years, where we just walked past each other in a park downtown. The prettiest, kindest most loveable girl in the world.
The feelings I get for her are so strong, I could wake up at night with tummy ache because I missed her. She was the first thing that popped into my head when I woke up and when I went to sleep I couldn’t …because she was not there.
Well now it’s been almost 3 months since we broke up, or she did while I supported her, unwillingly. She is in a pretty bad situation which didn’t allow any relationship for the moment. For months we endured without each other, we missed each other… But then silently.. suddenly.. it was all over. There are reasons which makes me doubt her, thinking if she wanted more there would be more, but ..I won’t ever know for sure. When I told her that I couldn’t believe her she freaked out on me and got angry and claimed she had been nothing but honest, and she is indeed an honest person. So while I’m not sure about it, I do believe her.
Now, I still dream about her at night, I still don’t want anybody else, I still miss her and she is often the first thing that pops into my head when I wake up. I don’t even want to drink or go to parties because drinking and even seeing pretty girls will fuel my emotions for her and make me miss her.
It’s been …as I said almost 3 months now and I’m starting to …I dunno.. it’s getting weary, having this weight on my sholders which I cannot shrug off, forcing myself to think of other things and trying.. to want other girls. It’s tiresome.. forcing yourself to think of something else, everyday, most of the day, no matter what you do for several months, even when we had our relationship I tried to force myself into other thoughts because I missed her so much ..because we didn’t see much of each other, at all actually.
So what can I do when nothing helps to take my mind off her? Do I date or “date” girls even though I don’t want them to be anymore than a friend? Force myself into something like that, does it even serve a purpose as it wouldn’t take my mind of her?
What can one do, when one is worn out and nothing helps, maybe not even time? I’m at a loss here. Thanks for reading.
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How do I get over someone special?
Well.. exactly how special? It’s tricky but I’ll try to explain so please bear with me.
It’s this girl.. whom I have known for years. Well I’ve done more than knowing her some of this time. Here goes.
You could call it love at first sight, you could call it true love and deep love. Well I’m not the falling in love type of guy (yeah we all say that :P) but I just don’t normally and especially not in this way. If I can avoid it I will, if I can ignore it I will, if I can escape from it I will and if I can deny it I often do, perhaps too often. This however I can do neither. She struck me like a bolt of lightning, you know the kind? From a blue sky? One look from her and I was never the exact same again. Oh I can still remember the first look she sent me, the first smile.. I kinda have to remember both if I remember one, we where just looking into each others eyes that (fateful?) day.
This girl is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and I never thought I could say that honestly about anyone, she just takes my breath away. I quickly started to care for her, and before I knew it ..a lot. More than any others.
Forgive me, I’m rantin’.
Well I said I’m not the gay who goes falling for the “first and the best”, remember? I’m not that much into relationships either, and I didn’t realize how special this girl was to me. So it felt all oh so complicated and so confusing that my head was spinning. After a while I deleted her phone number, tried not to contact her and boy that was hard. Normally I don’t use the phone and such much but this poor girl.. I couldn’t go without her for 10 minutes. So I tried to forget, tried to get over her but it just wouldn’t stop hurting. for a while I didn’t even understand why it hurt. Well she contacting me and coming over with mutual friends didn’t make things easier and I just couldn’t forget her, no matter how hard I tried.
But after a while contact finally ceased but it still hurt inside, god I was a fool.. Allthough there where many reasons why it was so complicated, which I’m not going to bother you with, at the least not now. :p
Anyhow, we only saw eachother sporadically the next years. But I was just acting weird around her, dunno why but almost as if she scared me. Maybe she did, I was thinking that I had to avoid any contact with her or I’ll fall for her again. …Which I’ll come back to. I was sure of it.
Several years later, I don’t know what happened.. We had both moved from our home town, she lived 250km away and I started contacting her over some online community. Feelings arose, the exact same emotions I had so many years before. I was dreaming of her at night… and she was dreaming of me… Before I knew it we where together.. in a relationship and we hadn’t even seen eachother for about 4 years, where we just walked past each other in a park downtown. The prettiest, kindest most loveable girl in the world.
The feelings I get for her are so strong, I could wake up at night with tummy ache because I missed her. She was the first thing that popped into my head when I woke up and when I went to sleep I couldn’t …because she was not there.
Well now it’s been almost 3 months since we broke up, or she did while I supported her, unwillingly. She is in a pretty bad situation which didn’t allow any relationship for the moment. For months we endured without each other, we missed each other… But then silently.. suddenly.. it was all over. There are reasons which makes me doubt her, thinking if she wanted more there would be more, but ..I won’t ever know for sure. When I told her that I couldn’t believe her she freaked out on me and got angry and claimed she had been nothing but honest, and she is indeed an honest person. So while I’m not sure about it, I do believe her.
Now, I still dream about her at night, I still don’t want anybody else, I still miss her and she is often the first thing that pops into my head when I wake up. I don’t even want to drink or go to parties because drinking and even seeing pretty girls will fuel my emotions for her and make me miss her.
It’s been …as I said almost 3 months now and I’m starting to …I dunno.. it’s getting weary, having this weight on my sholders which I cannot shrug off, forcing myself to think of other things and trying.. to want other girls. It’s tiresome.. forcing yourself to think of something else, everyday, most of the day, no matter what you do for several months, even when we had our relationship I tried to force myself into other thoughts because I missed her so much ..because we didn’t see much of each other, at all actually.
So what can I do when nothing helps to take my mind off her? Do I date or “date” girls even though I don’t want them to be anymore than a friend? Force myself into something like that, does it even serve a purpose as it wouldn’t take my mind of her?
What can one do, when one is worn out and nothing helps, maybe not even time? I’m at a loss here. Thanks for reading.
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