I’m done with life. - Help.com

I’m done with life.

I’ve been hoping it will get better, because hope is all i have left. I hate my job, I hate school, I’m failing out of my freshman year of college, I have no friends or family within an hour of me, I live all alone, I hate my apartment, I don’t even have a dog. Theres no money, because it all goes to my rent (last check for 2 weeks=366, rent=390+electric, 50+cable, 60 + gas money to go to school, 80) and to make it worse, 2 days ago when i decided to go for a walk at a local nature trail to celebrate the good weather, someone smashed in my passenger side window and stole my purse (coach, worth about a months rent+electric+cable) and in it my 2 debit cards, my drivers’ license, my social security card, and my food stamps. They’ve so far spent about 500 out of my one debit card, which i closed so they couldn’t spend anymore of whats left of my student loan and last paycheck (rent fund), so now i can’t get my money, i can’t get a new drivers license, and to top it off my phones broken and i can’t find out whats going on with this whole police report thing. for all i know they have the person in custody, i was suposed to hear back about this job i had an interview for last week, but since my phones been completely dead for over 48 hours, i have no idea! i just want to end it all right now. i cry everytime i see my car, i don’t have an alarm clock (i used my phone), so i haven’t been waking up in time for my classes, i’ve already missed a huge algebra midterm. I don’t even have access to my money to buy an alarm clock. i just don’t know what to do anymore…any suggestions? i don’t have a gun so whats the best way to do it? knife?

This open post was written 1 month, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 120, 13, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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courtybubble online Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 199 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

well, obviously no one here is going to tell you how to kill yourself, or suggest that that is the best option.
sure, you have a lot going on in life right now, but death seems like a somewhat silly, very permanent answer to some very temporary problems.
you need to slow down, and deal with the problems you CAN fix, one at a time.
if college is too much for you right now, then leave. take a break. get a doctor to sign you off as ill.
your bank should have some sort of insurance policy for the money that was lost by theft, or your car insurance will if you have that. if you go in, they will allow you access to your account in person if you can provide proof of who you are.
go in to the job.
go in to the police.
talk to your landlord, and explain the situation. set up payment plans with them, and with your electric etc companies.
get in a roomate. it will be far cheaper, and provide you with some company.
just stop for a bit, and take a breather.
these things arent worth ending your life over.

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iaspeaker offline Verified User (1 month, 2 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (12 minutes after post)

Faith in a higher power is often where we turn to as a last resort. You don’t mention having faith, only hope. Have you thought that perhaps this isn’t for you to manage alone? Check in the yellow pages of a public phone for a church you might relate to, a pastor you could talk to. Many faith based groups appeal to interdenominational faith. Go talk to your advisor at the college, they may be aware of someone just looking for someone else to “take under their wing” and mentor. College can be a really HUGE adjustment and it sounds like you’re imploding from all the pressures. Honey, you don’t have to do anything alone, you just THINK you do. What you DO have to do is reach out, no one can help you until you’ve humbled yourself enough to admit your life has become unmanageable… Asking for help is a sign of strength !!! You need a friend, you need an ally — but you have to open yourself up to it. I am praying for you as I write this, I’m asking God to send you a sign that He is there waiting for you to surrender and let go so He can send in the troops to help. God bless and remember — keep it simple, take it one moment at a time, and just start to whittle away at it in bite size pieces. Nothing is never as big as we make it out to be although it seems like it at the time cuz we feel like we have to do it all. We DON’T.

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sbaruth offline Verified User (3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (13 minutes after post)

i don’t have anywhere for a roommate to sleep, i don’t know where anything is here yet, i just moved here, i can’t “take a break from school” i’m failing enough already. no one cares why you aren’t in class, the just know you’re not and theyre still getting paid for it. i’m not a person to that place or my job, i’m just a number. i’ve never been this unhappy for this long ever. i just feel like i want to drop everything and run away, change my name, and start over.

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courtybubble online Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 199 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (13 minutes after post)

i do hope you realise that preaching to people who did not invite it is entirely against the rules of this site?

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courtybubble online Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 199 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (17 minutes after post)

well, finding out where things are is easy.
youre on the internet right now, use google maps.
by take a break, i mean drop out for the year, or semester. obviously its overwhelming, and if youre failing anyways, theres not much point being there.
i think you need to try taking a different view point of things here, youve got quite a defeatist attitude to some things that could be quite easily solved.
what do your family say about it all?

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sbaruth offline Verified User (3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (17 minutes after post)

and i don’t believe in god. if he existed he would have stepped in by now. i don’t have an advisor at college or a mentor. i litteraly have no one. i usually talk to my mom about this but i can’t because i don’t have a phone and she’s over 2 hours away. i don’t feel like i belong here, but i feel like i don’t belong at home even more. It feels like everyone just moved on with life and forgot about me.

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courtybubble online Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 199 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (18 minutes after post)

have you contacted the college health services?
financial advisors there?
that is what they are there for, utilise them!

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iaspeaker offline Verified User (1 month, 2 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (19 minutes after post)

Sorry, I didn’t realize I was preaching. I was offering the experience strength and hope I’ve found through 12-step programs - those are universal.
Secondly, sbaruth DID invite it in their request for suggestions. I did NOT define higher power, simply suggested that acknowledgement of an HP might be the ticket to help SBARUTH feel like it’s not worth checking out on life entirely. There are many 12-step groups, and they offer the “cheapest therapy” in town with the donation of a buck for coffee, which is totally voluntary.

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sbaruth offline Verified User (3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (20 minutes after post)

i can’t drop out i’ve already paid for it. my parents would never forgive me for that. i have a huge student loan out and my parents are firm believers in the no quitting rule. they try to help me out with money as much as possible, but they can barely take care of themselves. i’ve been raised to think if you quit you’re a failure, so thats not an option for me, i would feel completely worthless.

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courtybubble online Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 199 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (25 minutes after post)

ok, then if you cant drop out, you need to concentrate on your work in order to pass. so clear everything else from your mind, untill you have the time to think about it.
go to your lecturers, talk t them, tell them what has happened, but that you want to make it up. they will help, it is in their best interests to have student pass their classes.
look into the colleges aegrotat policy. if you were mentally too stressed and overwhelmed to take your recent tests, you have grounds to apply for compassionate consideration.
do you have a lease on your apartment? if not, look for people advertising for roomates.
as for the car, if you dont have insurance, and no money, you cant fix it right now, so quit worrying. its pointless.
but utilise the resources you have. obviously you have acess to the internet, so google the job you applied for, find the number or email, ring from a public phone. same with the police. same with the bank.

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iaspeaker offline Verified User (1 month, 2 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (25 minutes after post)

ok, Sbaruth… if I didn’t know better, I’d swear you’re my “college freshman daughter” who feels at the end of her rope right now too. She and you share many similarities. I know that if she called me with the plea you’ve made here, I’d reassure her that she has choices, and we’d discuss them. In fact, we did just that this morning… she’s missed three days of class with feeling “sick and achie” all over, and we concluded it’s more nerves than anything because she’s feeling overwhelmed. The main point I hope she understood is that ALL colleges have freshman who are experiencing the anxieties and panic you are. If you want to think you’re unique and this is ONLY happening to you and no one else, you’re mistaken. As I said, you have to ASK for help — you’re feeling left behind because no one is chasing you down to take tabs on you, but it does NOT mean they don’t care, it just means they are respecting your individuality… so make the first move and go to them, as Teknakal diff said, that is what they are there for.

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iaspeaker offline Verified User (1 month, 2 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (27 minutes after post)

Just read a quote by Winston Churchill this morning:
Courage is the ability to maintain your enthusiasm failure after failure.
You do have other choices besides quitting.

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hughes.gra offline Verified User (2 months, 1 week) Shouts: 4 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (31 minutes after post)

I’m sorry, but I honestly have to say to you GROW UP. I don’t mean to be harsh, but courtybubble is absolutely correct. Everything you describe is a nuisance and a pain, but its completely temporary and within your power to solve. Look upon it as a challenge to solve and become stronger by. You aren’t dying. You aren’t homeless. Be happy its happening now when your young and can recover from what is basically a small setback, a violation and a hassle. And over all this — which amounts to a hill of beans in the real world - you want to off yourself?. Do you know how many college kids have had to scrimp while they were in school. Living on ramen noodles and oatmeal, but grateful for the opportunity to get an education??

You have a car, a cell phone, you had a coach purse, you are a freshman in college and have your own apartment??? You probably also have a laptop and some nice jewelry as well. Look. We had landlines, typewriters, dorm rooms with roommates, cafeteria food and weren’t allowed cars the first two years when I was in school - and NO it wasn’t that long ago.

I scraped to go to school and sometimes it wasn’t fun to be poor all the time. But get a grip. The outcome for me was a first class education from a top school, a career, and success. That’s what it means to pay your dues. Buck up. Take one issue at a time. Be thankful for what you have in front of you - FOUR YEARS of absolute leisure. Really, if you think about it. FOUR YEARS to indulge in expanding your mind, reading great books, thinking about the great questions. That’s an honor and a privilege and while I’m sorry for what you are going through, you sound immature.

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