school help: I feel im such a loser - Help.com

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hi, is your class at the same school as your friends? are you the same year? is it possible that you transfer to their class? why do people in your class hate you? are you new there? hope you can find some solution to your problem! good luck.

Hi Anon, believe it or not, you have a wonderful opportunity in this class to see that who you really need throughout your life is YOU. Your friends will come and go but you will have YOU 24/7, for the rest of your life SO, how about we explore the possibility of you getting to know you. Who knows, you may find that you are actually your best friend. Would you like to try? Carol

Helpbot seriously thinks you will commit suicide over this…

M.y.a wrote:
hi, is your class at the same school as your friends? are you the same year? is it possible that you transfer to their class? why do people in your class hate you? are you new there? hope you can find some solution to your problem! good luck.

we are in the same school and year its just different class
i cant get moved into their class as i am in a higer level class and their not

candp wrote:
Hi Anon, believe it or not, you have a wonderful opportunity in this class to see that who you really need throughout your life is YOU. Your friends will come and go but you will have YOU 24/7, for the rest of your life SO, how about we explore the possibility of you getting to know you. Who knows, you may find that you are actually your best friend. Would you like to try? Carol

not to sure

About what?

Anonymous wrote:

we are in the same school and year its just different class
i cant get moved into their class as i am in a higer level class and their not

i see. then, i am afraid you’ll have to work on the issue with your class mates. You are certainly not a loser as you have tried making friends with them, it just didn’t work out! i know the feeling, i was in a similar situation, i tried making friends with my class mates but they would just always reject me. would you say that you are being bullied by your class mates? is there any counseling in your school that you could attend? is there a teacher/parent you could talk to? there must be some solution to your problem, please, don’t give up searching. i’ll be waiting for your reply.

probally more by words , they do talk about me (not in the good way)
and they dont have counseling in our school

The fact is that people will gravitate toward happy, secure people. If you present yourself in this class as “really not wanting to be there” it shows. Could this be part of the problem?

candp wrote:
The fact is that people will gravitate toward happy, secure people. If you present yourself in this class as “really not wanting to be there” it shows. Could this be part of the problem?

i dont really show as if i dont want to be there
because some days are fine but moast days are not

Anonymous wrote:
probally more by words , they do talk about me (not in the good way)
and they dont have counseling in our school

it does seem to be verbal bullying to me. well, the first thing is that you have to realize that it is NOT your fault when you are badly treated. you made an attempt to make friends with your class mates and for some reason, they rejected you. it seems that they even might have wanted to hurt you.

now if you want to stop being bullied you need help from someone who will always be on your side; someone you can rely on - that ’someone’ is you, you have to stand up for yourself. as candp wrote earlier you might have to become your best friend. it seems from your previous post that this is not a solution which you would welcome. you would prefer your class mates to be nicer to you. it is hard to accept that you must take on the burden of changing your own behavior in order to improve your relationship with them.

i am working on a similar problem in my own life. i’d strongly recommend that you seek out help from a professional. Learning to stick up for yourself isn’t something that happens overnight. Any kind of change in the way you think about yourself and in the way you behave takes time.

To feel secure and confident inside yourself you need to understand your feelings; be responsible for your feelings; be responsible for your behavior; and develop and use your inner power.

Also, understanding feelings and behaviors of bullies will be helpful. There are lots of helplines for children which provide free help over a phone or email. Are you from UK? I could search for some contacts for you if you would like. It is a good step that you sought out help here. Keep it up, please. I’m here if you need me.

i dont really know what to do , what did you do?
im also really shy , so that makes me a easy target
im live in ireland

i got some help for myself; you contact some proffesional help also, please. here are some resources:

http://www.childline.ie/Home.aspx

http://www.nidirect.gov.uk/index/pare…

i hope you can find some help there, if not, please write again. good luck with everything!!

i dont really think its bulling
i think its just me not being able to fit in and the fact that im shy is making it worse
i guess i’ll try the links
thanks xx

i found this article about self-esteem - http://www.yeahyeahoutloud.com/self-e…. you might find it useful. improving your self-esteem will boost your confidence also.

it is not JUST you not being able to fit in! if your class mates were nice, they would try to help you feel good and would accept you as a friend. to deal with their hostility, work on your self-esteem. there are also good chapters Sticking Up For Yourself and Helping Yourself To Feel Good in a book called Don’t Pick On Me by Rosemary Stones.

take care and be strong and positive! :)

Thank you