Love help: Terminate the friendship or not? - Help.com

Theres not much advice I can give because its really only something you understand and feel. All I can say is, maybe give the friendship a try, and try to think about her differently, I think that you may have become a little obsessed with her because she wasnt in your life but you still cared about her, because your relationship with her was only in your head for a couple of years, its manifested into something you cant control. I didnt mean to sound judgemental there, probably completely wrong, but its just something to consider into your perspective of this situation. It sounds like your in love with her, and ive only really seen this situation played out in movies and tv shows, but if its really torturing you, and giving the friendship a try only intensifies your feelings and its all you think about when your with her, then its only fair to let her know how you feel and then you will probably have to let the friendship go. It may turn out that talking about it with her will give you some clarity and you might be able to start to get over it, if you havent fully expressed how you feel to her, it might seem like a deep dark secret to you and that would also make it seem a lot worse to you. I cant explain it well, but I just think people have a lot of control over their minds if they start to think about it differently. You are what you think about, and you think about who you are. If you start to think about different things, or in a different perspective, it will start to transform who you are. Your idea of her has affected your view of every other girl you know, and probably your life in general in many ways. Force yourself to see her in a different way. Act yourself into feeling a certain way, dont wait for feelings to change the way you act. Focus on what you want to feel rather than thinking about what you cant have or no longer want to think about anymore. Nothing will change if you continue to obsess over what you cant have. Sorry if that didnt help at all, i tried!

Before I give you any bit of advice let me give you some facts about myself. I am 25 years old and am a successful engineer for a prominent DOD agency. I once was lived the same love saga you have created for yourself. I fell in love with a girl in the 9th grade who wanted nothing to do with me. Through the years we became friends and she slowly took to me. Through those years I had developed obsessions of what our future would hold. We ended up dating for 4 years; two in college, two in high school. When you get to know a girl and understand them and learn everything there is to know about them you eventually begin to realize the obsessions and dream you once have are meaningless. The story never plays out as you would want it too. If you cant tell, I am jaded. I have fallen in and out of love three times since my high school crush and I have yet to find anything that meets my dream girl. So my advice to you dear sir, do not try hard for this girl. These moments in life only make you stronger. Do not give up on her as a friend. Through your friendship you will eventually discover who she is and you will more than likely watch her date other dudes; I have been there. You can not let this effect your schooling or your day to day life style. Consider this a big challenge that you will eventually overcome. And hey, who knows, she may actually fall for you. But date other girls even if you like her more. Develop friendships with her friends.