friendship help: I Have To Share This. - Help.com

I’ll be your true friend. :3

I don’t think the poster is still here.

LordTannen wrote:
I don’t think the poster is still here.

Who, Me?

In your opinion, why don’t you have any friends? Carol

I’m your friend, please share more of what is bothering you. Friends come and go but a person only needs one true friend and on this website you will find friends.

candp wrote:
In your opinion, why don’t you have any friends? Carol

It’s me. I’m just not the kind aof preson that makes friends easily,and I’ve wanted to change that for a long time now, but I don’t think it’s really working. I try to go out a socialize, but i still don’t have any true friends to show for it.

Genesis721 wrote:
I’m your friend, please share more of what is bothering you. Friends come and go but a person only needs one true friend and on this website you will find friends.

I guese the above is whats bothering me.

Honey it just means that you havent met the right people yet
Very few people have true friends and some of us are better off without them

Would you like this to change? Are you willing to try on some different perspectives? I would be happy to help you end your lonliness. Carol

candp wrote:
Would you like this to change? Are you willing to try on some different perspectives? I would be happy to help you end your lonliness. Carol

I’d just like to have a few people I could call friends. Maybe a girlfriend or something like that. And yeah, I’d be willling to try something different. Any help you had would be nice, thank-you. = )

OK, here goes. What you resist persists, so stop hating being alone. Why? Because you bring into your life experience what you focus on. Can you see this?

candp wrote:
OK, here goes. What you resist persists, so stop hating being alone. Why? Because you bring into your life experience what you focus on. Can you see this?

I Think I understand, but I’m not sure it would really work. I mean, If I like being alone, won’t I just end up alone anyway? Wouldn’t that mean I’d never be motivated to make friends?

I’m not saying it won’t work, I’m just saying I need more clarification.

It is kind of like this. Right now you are focused on hating not having friends. Take a minute and focus how this perspective/thought is making you feel inside. You will find lots of negative feelings, and to resist it will produce tons more negative feelings. Come back out and imagine if you were to meet a new person and they were experiencing tons of negative feelings inside of them, what might they look like that would be visible to you. They would either appear as a time bomb ready to explode (angry), OR, Slump shouldered, looking down or away from your eyes, facial expression would show sadness and lacking in self confidence. Would you be drawn to that person, or someone you meet that appears happy and self confident? Does this help?

candp wrote:
It is kind of like this. Right now you are focused on hating not having friends. Take a minute and focus how this perspective/thought is making you feel inside. You will find lots of negative feelings, and to resist it will produce tons more negative feelings. Come back out and imagine if you were to meet a new person and they were experiencing tons of negative feelings inside of them, what might they look like that would be visible to you. They would either appear as a time bomb ready to explode (angry), OR, Slump shouldered, looking down or away from your eyes, facial expression would show sadness and lacking in self confidence. Would you be drawn to that person, or someone you meet that appears happy and self confident? Does this help?

Yes, thank-you, that makes sense. I really should work on that.
Do you have more advice? You’re good at giving advice. = )

All of the answers that you seek are already inside of you. You just need to create life tools for yourself that assist you in finding them. Just that little exercise above provided you with a couple of new life tools you did not have 10 minutes ago, right? That realization couple with the realization on your part of how simple it really was for you, once you new where to look, should shift you internally from negative to positive. Positive people do not come off as angry or sad, or needy so they tend to draw positive people to them. Can you see this all as a possibility for you?

candp wrote:
All of the answers that you seek are already inside of you. You just need to create life tools for yourself that assist you in finding them. Just that little exercise above provided you with a couple of new life tools you did not have 10 minutes ago, right? That realization couple with the realization on your part of how simple it really was for you, once you new where to look, should shift you internally from negative to positive. Positive people do not come off as angry or sad, or needy so they tend to draw positive people to them. Can you see this all as a possibility for you?

yes, I can. It makes sense. Thank-you for all your help.
Do you have any ideas on how to become more psoitive, or should I find them on my own?

Let this experience sit with you a while. See how easy you were able to shift internally from negative to positive, simply by changing the way you looked at your circumstances. Remember, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” It is that simple. Do not become attached to thoughts or behavior that trigger negative feelings in you. When you see these types of thoughts going on in your head, or you notice you are shifting emotionally to a negative state, change the way you are looking at what is triggering these effects in you. Does this help?
Carol

Yes. Thank-you so much.