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Need advice about some things.
Well, there are a lot things I need advice on, so I hope you people will be able to read a long post, because this is going to use a lot of space. First I need to tell a little about my situation and background:
Well, I’m a 19 year old boy who like to do things like playing computer games, being with friends, going to the gym and going to school. About 2 years ago, when I was 17, I was run down by this drunk hit-and-run driver. I got a heavy concussion, got my left femur broken in two, a big flesh wound on my right leg, a couple of small point hemorrhages on the brain and I was close to death. I was hospitalized and in rehabilitation for about 9 months and I’m now back at 4th year in high school (the year that should be equal to 12th grade, read about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Higher_Technical_Examination_Programme_%28HTX% 29), doing really good, they found the hit-and-run driver and he got is sentence in court. But there are still some things I can’t stop thinking about and I think I need to talk to some about these thoughts.
And now for my questions:
1) I don’t really fell emotions like sadness and anger in situations where I should. For example, when I saw the man in court, the one who ran me down, I felt nothing at all. No anger, no disappointment, NOTHING.
Another example could be if my friends teases me for fun (nothing serious), I sometimes get really angry, almost violent, even if there’s no reason to get angry or violent. And I don’t want it to be like that, I just can’t control when I should feel what…
The last example would be if something sad happens to a family member. It could be death, a terrible sickness or something along those lines. I don’t feel much sadness at all. How can I prevent such things from happening and get to feel emotions like I want?
The above questions leads to the next one:
Why can’t I love a person at all? I have never had a girlfriend or even a girl I liked for more than like a month. I do love my family like my mother, father and sister in the way you usually love your family, but I can’t love a person, like a girl. I can get a crush for like a week, sure, but I can’t feel attached to that person for a long period of time. For example, when I just began to go to school again after the accident, I got in class (new one, you can’t miss 9 months of school and expect to come back to the same class) with this girl, who I actually talked pretty good with and I really liked her…. for a week or two, then I felt nothing towards her anymore…. I am really confused about this, because I’m 19 years old, an age where most people have had a relationship, and even most, if not all, my friends have had a boy or girlfriend. What is wrong with me? Am I just a guy without any feelings at all?
2) I feel that I got left behind by my friends; that time is moving the wrong way too fast - you could say that I’m stuck in the past. I just feel that most of my friends are growing up a lot quicker than I am, even if am more responsible and adult-like than most of them, if I should say so myself. They are also moving away to other cities, which makes me kind of lonely. Sure, I got new friends in the new class I’m in, but I live like 65km (40 miles) away from them, which makes it so that I can’t socialise with them after school because of homework, work and gym. No, I’m talking about my friends from 8th-10th (it was in the 11th grade I got run down). These friends went to other educations than me, so now they’re moving. While I was hospitalized and in rehabilitation, they got new interests, found new friends etc, so that’s why I’m kind of lonely, so now I spend most of my time in front of my computer. What can I do about this? How do I get away from the computer, get out between other people and get new friends/interests?
3) Most of my friends like to party in the weekends and get drunk. I’m not like this, I don’t get drunk every weekend and that’s why they think I’m a bit boring. Sure I can go to a party and have fun while not getting drunk, but it’s not fun being the only sober person to a party, so I usually just tell them that I have other plans or that I don’t feel like it. Then some of them call me weak because I don’t want to go drink my brains out, but I think that they’re the ones who are weak because they can’t have fun at a party without getting drunk. What do you guys think? Should I just go to these parties and get drunk or should I stay at home like I do most of the time?
Hope someone will give some advice on this….
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