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Yeah most of the problems deal with sex or money or people who want to die is what I’m thinking. Setting a clear path for your life is a good idea and if you follow the rules of christianity you will more than likely prosper. Nice post nice writing nice plan…
Okay I disagree with one thing. Don’t fool yourself into thinking sex is used mainly to reproduce unless you want a husband who is unsatisfied or a whole lot of children. Hope you’re Catholic I think it’s a rule you have to have at least five children if you are. If you only have sex five times you will miss out on a lot.
Dr. Ralph wrote: Okay I disagree with one thing. Don’t fool yourself into thinking sex is used mainly to reproduce unless you want a husband who is unsatisfied or a whole lot of children. Hope you’re Catholic I think it’s a rule you have to have at least five children if you are. If you only have sex five times you will miss out on a lot.
I realise Catholics are a bit harsh and needy. It’s kinda the only thing I disagree with as well. I’m planning to cheat and use condoms. But shhh
What I meant is that if you do get pregnant it’s not really a huge issue. It’s not like I’m having sex but completely against the idea of getting pregnant that I’d have to resort to extreme measures (adoption, abortion..)
Yeah that’s the way sex should be that’s why it is so much better when you are married. No freaking out over getting someone pregnant, if you do it’s fine. You know you have to confess…. shhhhh?
Dr. Ralph wrote: You know you have to confess…. shhhhh?
You know I’m not sure that I do.
Actually I should say ‘maybe I do but I’m not sure I feel like I should’.
It’s a sin in the eyes of the church and I’m aware that it’s a sin but I’m still committing it cause I know I’ll be forgiven later? I’m not sure that’s how it works.
I’m doing it on the basis that God won’t mind.
I think it’s a very personal thing, and I can see why the church is against sex outside the marriage, but I don’t think they should get involved between a husband and his wife. They’re the only two that know what’s best for them.
Central wrote: Question - What if your future husband is addicted to porn and you find out after your married? (He has never had physical sex before though)…
Well if he was hiding it from me, I’d be more angry at that, then at the fact that he is addicted to porn. But if it is an addiction, then I know that to some extent he can’t really help it. I stood before God and vowed to stand by him through good times and bad; and I would. I’d definitely do my best to help him.
But like I said it’s the fact that he didn’t tell me. If he had told me before I wouldn’t leave him or anything, I’d still want to deal with it and help him, and probably still marry him.
Central wrote: Question - What if your future husband is addicted to porn and you find out after your married? (He has never had physical sex before though)…
My husband was :(
That’s probably a part of why he never had a gf. I think a porn addiction can mess a person up in the head so they cannot relate to or talk with girls.
Maybe my opinion is invalid, but I agree with you Summer Rain. Anyhow, I just wanted to say that I’m very much humbled by your wisdom and touched by the kindness that you’ve shown me and others on this website Summer Rain.
Central wrote: Question - What if your future husband is addicted to porn and you find out after your married? (He has never had physical sex before though)…
My husband was :(
That’s probably a part of why he never had a gf. I think a porn addiction can mess a person up in the head so they cannot relate to or talk with girls.
Did your husband confess to you or did you have to find out? Are you guys still together?
Almost Elysium wrote: Maybe my opinion is invalid, but I agree with you Summer Rain. Anyhow, I just wanted to say that I’m very much humbled by your wisdom and touched by the kindness that you’ve shown me and others on this website Summer Rain.
No you’re opinion is definitely valid, and I really do appreciate it. I’m grateful for the fact that I’ve come across people like you; it’s been an absolute pleasure, so thank you.
Central wrote: Question - What if your future husband is addicted to porn and you find out after your married? (He has never had physical sex before though)…
My husband was :(
That’s probably a part of why he never had a gf. I think a porn addiction can mess a person up in the head so they cannot relate to or talk with girls.
Did your husband confess to you or did you have to find out? Are you guys still together?
He thought once he had a real woman it wouldn’t be a problem anymore. After he married me he resisted for a whole year. Then he fell. Then he confessed. Then his addiction came back strong as ever. He messed up again and again sometimes confessing sometimes getting caught. He was really addicted, looking at porn whenever he got a chance. It was messing up our relationship big time. I despaired of ever having true oneness with him. A big breakthrough came six years ago when we started going to a different church. We really started praying. He got a lot closer to God then and the temptation just wasn’t as strong anymore. He still messes up sometimes but it is very rarely, like a couple times a year but he stops himself and doesn’t do what he use to do.
Wow Cell. That’s exactly what I’m afraid of. I don’t want to be like your husband and marry some girl only to put her through the emotional trauma of having a porn addicted husband. I also used to think that getting married would instantly fix my addiction, but I’ve heard enough stories to know that it’s not true. Can I ask you two questions Cell? One, how do you feel during those episodes when he still looks at porn? And what I really want to know is, would you still have married him had you known about his addiction beforehand?
Almost Elysium wrote: Wow Cell. That’s exactly what I’m afraid of. I don’t want to be like your husband and marry some girl only to put her through the emotional trauma of having a porn addicted husband. I also used to think that getting married would instantly fix my addiction, but I’ve heard enough stories to know that it’s not true. Can I ask you two questions Cell? One, how do you feel during those episodes when he still looks at porn? And what I really want to know is, would you still have married him had you known about his addiction beforehand?
I feel worthless, like I’m not doing good enough for him. I lose hope. I know I can never really trust him. I feel angry and powerless. I remember all the fights/disagreements we’ve had. I feel like in some way it’s my fault.
Well, I would have still married him because now I see how things have turned around for us. God is good. God has saved us and is saving us. I believe Leo is really the one for me. We were made for each other.
Wow, it is so nice to know that I’m not the only one who wants to do this !
People think you are incredibly stupid, think that you are missing out on the most fun of your life…You can have so much fun before you settle down, theres no such thing as ‘the one’ etc etc…
But all these people: where are they going?? Where have they been?? Have they hurt/been hurt?? Are they happy now??
I know so many people that have let sex dominate their lives, its insane. They are really great people, but they have hurt so many people because they notice something better, and they loose touch with what really matters.
Personally I don’t want to put myself in that situation. Not because I’m greedy or anything, I just see it as the only way to avoid getting hurt.
Its so hard just living life, and all these younger girls going round - getting with all your guy friends. They seem so popular, and wild, but all the guys really want is sex. Then they drop out before it gets too serious.
The stupid thing is, I feel jealous of these girls…
I’m with you Summer Rain, I think the only way (well, for me definately) is to be married. Heck, I can’t wait…
I was just reading over a few posts and those three words seem to always go together. Most of the posts are Anonymous cause it is a very touchy subject, especially if you feel like you’re in the minority. I don’t have many problems to post so I’ve decided to try and help through my posts.
Personally, I’m planning to stay a virgin till I get married. To me sex is still a very sacred act mainly used to reproduce (doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it and all that). Before you call me old fashioned and traditional, I’m going to do it myself. Cause I am. And I love it. Having said that, I’m also very open-minded and I realise that this kind of thinking doesn’t apply to many other people. Which is fine, but those people seem to always think that our religion is pressuring us into feeling shame and we’re in denial about how natural and pleasurable sex/oral/masturbation are. We know that. And you’re right (I haven’t done any of them myself, but I hear they rock).
To me, and I know it’s the same with few other people that share the same notions, it’s not so much cause my religion or culture told me I can’t have sex, (I’m a Christian by the way) it’ more the fact that I agree with it so strongly. It’s a decision I made; like I said sex to me is sacred, plus you can only give your virginity away once and I just feel like I’m respecting my body and myself (all three personal reasons). By saying that I’m in no way judging people who don’t think the same way, I know I’m the strange one here.
Now for the people who agree with me, I know it sounds like it’s easy for me, but it’s not, it’s hard! and I have my days and urges. I’ve watched porn, mainly cause I was curious, and it’s kinda what I expected it to be. Didn’t really do much for me though, but I know it would have if I wanted it to. Do I feel bad? Yeah I guess to some extent. Because God hates me and I’m going to hell? No, hell no, lol I know God, He’s realistic, and He knows what He created. I feel bad cause it’s just not something I want to associate myself with, morally, socially and then maybe religiously.
I want my husband to be a virgin. Yeah it might be a lot to ask for, but I know plenty of guys who do save themselves for marriage; and plus there’s a higher chance that I’ll get it if I’m aiming for it then if I’m not.
Lol I think I’ve said enough, hope I helped, or at least made things clearer. Wasn’t really a question so I’m not expecting answers, but I’m more than happy to clarify or hear opinions.
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