Help help: Does posting a question for answers in a public forum marginalize - Help.com

You really like the word “marginal…”

I do not think that it marganilizes the problem. I think that knowledge is power and part of seeking knowledge is seeking others’ opinions. I do realize that there can be some trolls on this site, but if you pay attention to who is on here and their responses, you will soon find the ppl you can trust.

But do you think there can be questions to great, deep, or personal to be rightly answered in a manner such as this?

I think it depends on the person in which is trying to help. Now if this is a jaded or sarcastic post for which you feel you were treated that way for one previously made. Well if that the case I am sorry, but I think it really depends on those online at the time and what trolls are around. I have gotten the positive and very blunt answers to questions I have posted. Sometimes its something I would not hear talking to my friends/family about the same problem. How do you feel, posing the same question back to you?

No. I think that any great, deep, personal questions need to be answered by the individual who is asking them; and that person only.

However, as long as you are healthy enough emotionally to figure out what it is that you want internally…I think that there is nothing wrong with seeking the opinions of others…learning all you can about your question…then MAKING UP YOUR OWN MIND

was that an elaborate way of saying this place is stoopidandfortaterheads?

(i just got smarter thx Pepper!)

mz.mo wrote:
How do you feel, posing the same question back to you?

A part of me would feel rather small posting life long personal problems and secrets for personal discussion even anonymously. After all these are problems that exist in the real world, and doing so would only speak to insecurity. I just find myself responding to these questions and never posting my own, so now I made this post to discuss if such a choice is right. Do you think it healthier to speak first to those at issue in real life, or first to seek help in such a forum?

to lay such a heavy question on what is essentially a new form of communication and self discovery would seem somewhat premature. it may be decades before the full impact of electronic social media begins to be known much less formally studied…

abnormalogic wrote:
was that an elaborate way of saying this place is stoopidandfortaterheads?

No, I think this site can provide a positive service for many people, and I like anyone can understand the urge to share all of my thoughts online. But is there also help in harboring secrets? Are answers short and simple always adequate? And is there a proper place for friend before stranger?

I think you’re a pessimistic know-it-all that tries too hard to come across as smart… And clearly failing since anybody that actually understood(There IS a difference between knowing and understanding) the words you used would never use them in that context.

To answer your question- People can be helped from this site- not because that is what it is made for, but because there are people here that are willing to understand and try help. The level of help one may receive totally depends on the person, the person helping, and the willingness to accept the help given to them.

I think that real life is ALWAYS more important that online life. Though I will say that I have made some great friends; people who I feel I can trust…online. I’ve even met a few of them in person.

I talk about my personal problems…but not all and not all the time. I do it because:

1. It helps another person to know that someone has been there/done that
2. It helps me…as in, it’s catharctic
3. I figure that they will all get lost in the mix anyway…and if not….
4. I never post anything unless I’m willing to talk with someone (my antagonist/etc) about what I posted IRL, should they find it….
5. Finally…I’m pretty much an open book. Always IRL. Often online.

Well sometimes I think you need to go outside of your circle(friends,family,co-workers) to get a truthful answers. I am not always as open about the situation in face to face covno. Sometimes b/c I cant articulate my feelings as well in spoken word as when typed. Other times b/c I am embarrassed about how I feel. I think if you can help people, however that maybe is a good thing.

Anonymous wrote:

abnormalogic wrote:
was that an elaborate way of saying this place is stoopidandfortaterheads?

No, I think this site can provide a positive service for many people, and I like anyone can understand the urge to share all of my thoughts online. But is there also help in harboring secrets? Are answers short and simple always adequate? And is there a proper place for friend before stranger?

valid points yes, and i would personally assume that all prior standards would apply (prior to the internet) but its here and must be assimilated and adjusted to so who knows where lines should be drawn. it will probably always vary per the individual…

Anonymous wrote:

mz.mo wrote:
How do you feel, posing the same question back to you?

A part of me would feel rather small posting life long personal problems and secrets for personal discussion even anonymously. After all these are problems that exist in the real world, and doing so would only speak to insecurity. I just find myself responding to these questions and never posting my own, so now I made this post to discuss if such a choice is right. Do you think it healthier to speak first to those at issue in real life, or first to seek help in such a forum?

It’s much the same as seeking help in real life, only you’ll either be talking to a professional, or told to go to one.
You can receive very real help, and it’s often from people with similar experiences.

You can still have your secrets, and things you keep to yourself, but generally, most people feel more comfortable talking more deeply about themselves online because it is anonymous and not face to face, so they can speak their mind more thoroughly without being interrupted or put down.

Hmmm… But don’t you ever feel at all pathetic asking advice about things in which there is no antagonist involved… And even if there may be one, attacking them in such a fashion could be viewed as cowardice. Do you think you should try to limit your behavior to that which you would do if watched, so you live your life entirely by real world standards, and don’t feel like an idiot when you walk back into them?.. And these standards, what validity do they bar, is it right to limit yourself to the appropriate always? I think not… So then what is appropriate in a public forum, to you? What type of posts would/do you make and respond to and also why?

pardon me, would you happen to have any grey-poupon?

Who said anything about attacking?? If someone gets on here to attack, then they are immature and need all the help that they can get…

Yep. I limit my behavior to that which I would do if watched, as indicated aboce. I think I’m very “real.”

*above

I would respond to posts I feel that I could help with in someway. Or sometimes its just a fun discussion. If someone asked me face to face about a problem I would respond in the same manner. If I could help, had some insight on the topic, I would do my best to help. And here just like in person, the “help seeker” can take it or leave it. And the only thing shameful in my view is not asking for help if you know you need it. And doesnt each person have a set of standards all there own? Dont yours and mine vary? So wouldnt the way we seek advice/help/outside opinions therefore vary too? Its all relative. Just like everything in life

I don’t feel pathetic at all. If I’m embarrassed, or don’t feel like letting the people on here know that something about me, I post anon. Then even the most ridiculous of feelings can be overcome. You should never limit your behavior because of something as silly as ‘being watched’ or you will end up being paranoid. You should live your life to online-communication standards- saying what you want, and not being afraid of being judged. Who cares if you act like an idiot? You may be curious, because you honestly don’t know something(And there is nothing wrong with that), or you may just be having fun, and what’s the problem with that?
I make any post that I feel necessary. If ever I’m in need of help, or curious about something, I ask! The reason- Because limiting your life, your abilities, or your knowledge is a one way path to a life-time of ignorance.

This was fun, but it’s late. :P ‘Night.

Thanks mates, yeah not going to post my personal squabbles and secrets all over this site at all. Though your right I already knew that before. Well I’m off to bed, have a great night all!
(or day whichever applies)
Cheers

I would think that as long as there is so much as a modicum of thoughtfulness and insight in some responses then the danger of being casually dismissed or marginalized will never be realized and ultimately I feel that is how many in this forum seek to present their answers. I mean, look at the responses to your own query to see that the proof is in the pudding, so to speak.

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks mates, yeah not going to post my personal squabbles and secrets all over this site at all. Though your right I already knew that before. Well I’m off to bed, have a great night all!
(or day whichever applies)
Cheers

I think you already did, in a way. From the way you try to use the largest, most confounded and confuddling words possible to try and convey a rather pointless point to all and sundry, it would seem that your issue is one of low self esteem, aka. “small man syndrome”. While trying to appear smarter than all who reply, and questioning whether we all feel pathetic in some way, you’ve told us exactly how you feel about yourself.

courtybubble wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks mates, yeah not going to post my personal squabbles and secrets all over this site at all. Though your right I already knew that before. Well I’m off to bed, have a great night all!
(or day whichever applies)
Cheers

I think you already did, in a way. From the way you try to use the largest, most confounded and confuddling words possible to try and convey a rather pointless point to all and sundry, it would seem that your issue is one of low self esteem, aka. “small man syndrome”. While trying to appear smarter than all who reply, and questioning whether we all feel pathetic in some way, you’ve told us exactly how you feel about yourself.

toche’ (sp?) :) but I still dont think ANON/OP will ask for the help he wants too sadly. Its just sad its so obvious to everyone except himself what he wants help.

mz.mo wrote:

courtybubble wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks mates, yeah not going to post my personal squabbles and secrets all over this site at all. Though your right I already knew that before. Well I’m off to bed, have a great night all!
(or day whichever applies)
Cheers

I think you already did, in a way. From the way you try to use the largest, most confounded and confuddling words possible to try and convey a rather pointless point to all and sundry, it would seem that your issue is one of low self esteem, aka. “small man syndrome”. While trying to appear smarter than all who reply, and questioning whether we all feel pathetic in some way, you’ve told us exactly how you feel about yourself.

toche’ (sp?) :) but I still dont think ANON/OP will ask for the help he wants too sadly. Its just sad its so obvious to everyone except himself what he wants help.

What does (sp?) mean??? I don’t get it!

spelling I’m not to skilled in that department

Ah! Thanks! :D I see that all the time and never knew. :P
*Touche’