My wife ran off with a friend of mine 4 years ago. - Help.com

1. Your wife has a financial and support obligation the same as you if the tables were turned. Go to your Court house. There are “Legal Aid” services there to assist people financially with civil processes such as this. Don’t take “no” for an answer, go up the line to the Court Clerk or whatever your state calls the elected position responsible for your Court System if necessary. They may not be able to help with divorce but they will have to make sure the children are supported by both parents. I’m willing to bet an uncontested divorce (which shouldn’t require the assistance of an attorney) will be on the horizon if your wife finds she still has to assume financial and custodial responsibility. This will be a very frustrating and emotional ordeal but putting it off will not make it better and you will continue down a road of despair by not putting closure to it. Get the assistance due for your children. Keep in mind however your wife will have parenting rights as well as obligations.

2. Don’t be too proud to ask for help from social services in your area. Most communities have food pantry’s or food coupons etc. try to find a way to maximize your paycheck by using these services. I believe some communities even have assistance programs for utility bills. Try to stop having to do the odd jobs to make ends meet, or at least minimize them.

3. Don’t be too proud to rely on friends neighbors and family. I’m sure you would do the same for them if they needed help. Especially while you go through item #1.

4. Now what I consider the most important: find quality time for yourself to do what you enjoy doing. Don’t turn to alcohol or substance abuse as an escape but try to spend a half hour to an hour a day doing something you enjoy, listen to music, exercise, reading, watching sports, yoga, whatever it is, try to figure a way to give yourself some enjoyment while you get your life back on track and try to find time for it every day.

Good luck.