Love help: If you could do whatever you wanted, what would you do? - Help.com

Go to sleep

Lately, yes. :(

Let there be peace in every mind .

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti…………

i would go 2 a good university and study all fields such as physics,astronomy,math,music,medicine,biochemistry,….

Become a professional dart player :) x

i would ! have a renued relationship with God
2 get married
3 get a job so i dont lose my house n everything i own

I would work as i can…and save alot of money for me and my boyfriend so..finally our dream will be reallity..
And Begin a family…
And start a happy life..

anarchism needs to get a job.

i feel V E R Y dehumanized by the jobs i have had, and even moreso the extreme low i have sunk to so that i might be able to get a “job”
basicly if it’s agenst my religion i wont do it, even if it kills me,
other than that theres not much i wont consider

i dont know…

would you be a whore :D x

well you would be the first person in my escort service ;)

so sure why not :) you could be my male/female/ havent a clue what your gender is, whore :D x

I’m 90% happy with my life… but the missing bit of happiness is in my “love life”… i’d put all my energy into finding someone that i can love… and who loves me… all in an ideal world it would all fall into place. I have never managed to find complete happiness… there is always one area of my life that isn’t working for me…if i’m happy with my job then my social life suffers or if my family life is good then my career is failing…. there’s always something out of kilter.

oooooh tough one lol.

well i guess as you’re my escort service i kinda have to say that. but truth is i would give anything to become a professional dart player. to be up on stage playing the likes of barney, jenkins, wade and taylor on live television in front of thousands of people :D

x

Aww bless, look at you getting all cheeky :)
although i have to say it was quite funny.

so what would you do if you could do anything in the world? x

well okay :)

but what would you like to do in the future? x

…

you’re weird :D

although i like the working in my escort service part.. i dont know if the clientele would appreciate you eating ice cream though :P x

im trying to learn how to play darts,,i got a tabe measure on the floor a board on the wall framed with a piece of wood,,,n holes EVERY WHERE in the ceiling walls floor,,,every where

an escort blog?
erm…
sure why not.

as for your brainstorming, its interesting, but like i say very weird. as for you calemus, dont worry.. my wall has many holes in it. and my mummy isnt to impressed :D x

my mum dosent live here
if i like holes i get a hammer
if i wana patch holes i got the tools
i used to be a contractor

i used to be a painter and decorator, so i to have the materials required to patch the holes. but i just cant be bothered x

oh dear anarchism..
what the f***** kind of a comment was that lol.

you made me sound so gay *sigh* x

lol used lol hahaha…
Aww your wording is funny.

and its a fine title to me :) any girl who wants to use me can :) especially if it makes me become part of this group :P

x

Theres so many things I would do…and plan on doing next year.
Pile all my junk into my truck and hit the road
then, Learn Guitar
then, Surf
then, Spend hours reading the bible, get to know God a little better
then, Hang out with some pretty cool people
then, Make new memories, to add to my collection. Another story to tell.
then, Join a band
then, Enjoy creation and the world around me a little more, before we wreck it.
I was hoping to find a nice boy that would like to come with me, but since that didnt happen this year - I might meet one on my trip…
Ya never know =)

9, 10, 11…… be happy =) No reason not to be.

Anarchism wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
i’d put all my energy into finding someone that i can love… and who loves me

Why do you think it’s so hard to love someone who also loves you?

The difficulity is finding someone who does love me… for who i am…who doesn’t want to change me…. who just loves me…

I think you should just focus on being you, and noticing all the people that love you already. You don’t have to have a partner, just because you are single doesn’t mean people don’t love you.

I would love to find somebody to love aswell, but I know it will happen one day. Just gotta make the most of what is here now.

Plus all my friends in relationships at the moment are all having troubles, and are constantly worrying about how to fix problems…I swear it is all they ever do/think about. Its not a bad thing being single, just devote all your time and energy onto other things (rather than fixing things ) and one day you will bump into somebody doing the same thing !!

I understand what you are saying…. i just feel that i have so much to offer to the right person and it would make me a more rounded person if i was able to share my life with someone.

I’ll continue living a life that isn’t complete.

The same life i have now… doing what i do now… it’s not that i hate my life or don’t want to carry on… i do… i’m happy but not 100%…. if i could do anything right now it would be to put all my energy into finding someone to share my life with.

I know what you mean, everybody wants somebody to share their life with…
I feel a bit the same way…
but I think that if that isn’t the case right now - you should embrace it and make the most of your freedom as an individual…you’ll find so much out for yourself, and eventually you will meet somebody, and won’t want to adventure out as much…then kids come along and you want to but can’t.

Thats how I see it anyways, Just being happy right now =)

I’ve used dating sites…. and friends introducing me to other people, contacts through my work, social events…. i think i’ve covered most avenues to find the “one” but he’s never been in the same place as me at the right time so i haven’t met him yet.

Yeah i’m happy with the rest of my life…probably the first time in my life when everything else is great.

The strange thing is this is not about finding someone, getting married, having kids…. I have children, been married and am divorced, have been in love before just wasn’t loved back. It’s more about sharing my current life and happiness with someone else.

Just get out there, do all the things you want to do while you can.
Find a passion for something, anything to get you motivated…do new things…
You’ll find someone along the way, and if you havent yet its because its not the right one.

Just keep smiling, people will love you for it - and it will make you feel good about yourself too.

I try… i work but i also do volunteer stuff and involve myself in community stuff as much as possible…. I smile…. a lot…. and i know people appreciate my cheery personality…. and my self esteem in general is high (hasn’t always been) so you’re probably right… it’’s just a matter of time.

I was pretty keen on just meeting somebody at one stage, it was all I focused on - don’t think I’ve ever felt as low as then, not because I was getting rejected, I was just taking it too seriously and putting too much pressure on finding someone, I was getting down on myself because I hadn’t found anyone, which is totally stupid looking back.

I figure as long as I am truely happy with myself and just keeping on livin’ and enjoying life somebody might notice it and want to be a part in my life and share theirs with me.
But I’m not going to wait, till then I’ll just keep talking to people and keep on having fun.
=)
(not slutty fun btw, just being myself)

Anarchism wrote:
Let me ask you a rather upfront question: WHY should someone love you?

That question opens up a whole can of worms… I was so demoralised by a previous partner that i don’t believe that anyone can love me…. because i don’t deserve to be loved.

I think i have put it behind me… but i recognise i need to put time between that period of my life and now to be completly liberated. It’s very easy to hit a “problem” and blame my ex for it…. his words can still ring in my ears if i am feeling low enough… i hope time will stop that.

Now the picture in the toilet bowl is not something i have done…. it may be the answer.

I think maybe i phrased it wrong earlier… My partner convinced me that i didn’t deserve to be loved…. Now that he’s gone and i’m recovering from that situation i do believe i deserve to be loved…. just not all the time…

I’m going to the ladies room…..lol.

Thanks :-)

Anarchism wrote:
Seems like you’re really thirsty for knowledge.

Does knowing a lot of stuff make you feel better than not being certain about something?

of course i feel better when i know a lot of things…i love reading

Anarchism wrote:
ooh — looks like Pepper Jelly fell asleep! WOOHOO!! :D

LOL. No, I didn’t. I thought you logged off, and there were no other posts that interested me. So I logged off and finished cleaning my closet :s. I didn’t go to sleep til 5:00 AM. Woke up at 7:00 :(

And, yes, I am worried about several things. I guess I should just stop worrying, but it seems like when it rains, it pours!! LOL

If I could do whatever I wanted i’d marry my girlfriend for 2+ years and start my career in film production.

If only it were that simple in real life :

If I could do anything I wanted… I would do everything? (Except those things that hurt others)

probably get really drunk and drive a monster truck through the wilderness.

I would take over the world, then give the power up and start over. (Once you take over the world what else is there to do?)

I’d learn to dance salsa really really well

That way I’d dance and girls would wanna dance with me

Right now I suck

be able to understand cows

well cows are cool creatures and i would love to be able to talk MOO

Anarchism wrote:
oops — tons of typos. :| really tired now … I’ve been writing a lot (on other websites)

What other websites? Or are they questionable (such as the anarchist party website or internet porn)?

Moo

tis

I live in America so I pretty much do what ever I want to everyday but im sure alot of other countries are like that to but just get a bad rap or somthing. except the Mulsim comunitiee, man I would hate to be a women in the middle east.

Anonymous wrote:
I live in America so I pretty much do what ever I want to everyday but im sure alot of other countries are like that to but just get a bad rap or somthing. except the Mulsim comunitiee, man I would hate to be a women in the middle east.

Not all muslims are like that. Only a few countries remain that are that extreme.

I would not do what I don’t want to do forever.
Now I will play with my children and tomorrow I would make something cool. This question implies that you would forever only do things you want to do and if that were true the list would be endless.

dominate matter to the point of free motion space travel

Yondaime wrote:
dominate matter to the point of free motion space travel

How noble

I would eat unhealthy food! Technically I CAN do this now, but there are obvious consequences…

Just thought of another one, terraform mars and send all the stupid people there.

well I’m gonna say that if I could have anything happen, then I would have all phedophiles and sex offender’s bits cut off. anyone that does anything like that-shouldn’t be able to do it any more. They should have them chopped off with no pain relief at all. there we go, my opinion. and they should go to prison with all the phedo haters.yep
or I could just get rid of all of the nasty people. or get them help to make them nicer.

If I could choose some other things I would…probably try to make it so my mam had gained the qualifications that she tried to gain when she was younger, she grew up abroad and came here and was given 2 packs of cards and told that they didnt teach anything that she had learnt, but, it was the law so she had to go to school.

or I would make it so that my sister’s baby had stayed alive and not died.

Or I would make my grandmas pains go away.

or I would make it so that I had really good grades and got to do the job I wanted/want to.

i would also go back in time and stop loads of trees from being cut down.

I’d have alot to ask lol can’t quite make my mind up.

go back to corfu! loved it there!

I would wave a magic wand and get rid of racism, sexism, ageism, religious intolerance and bigotry with a swoosh, swish, kazaaam “be gone”.

And then I’d throw a chocolate party to celebrate :)

what is this, miss universe?

mumstheword wrote:
I would wave a magic wand and get rid of racism, sexism, ageism, religious intolerance and bigotry with a swoosh, swish, kazaaam “be gone”.

And then I’d throw a chocolate party to celebrate :)

Yey!! chocolate party! can I come? mm… Can we have Millie’s chocolate cookies? I had one those today. It was scrumpdiddlydumptious :P

No, this is help.com where friendly people leave friendly comments and help others to have a good day :)

Of course Jetmoo! :)

i think that it would be good to stop all the trees being taken away- cut down.because without trees and plants, nothing survives. and they help to get rid of all the gases we are making. if the trees weren’t cut down then more animals would survive with their homes being saved, there’d be less greenhouse effect and more animals would survive from the earth not getting as hot. not got to only think of us y’ know. there’s more than just us on this planet.

mumstheword wrote:
Of course Jetmoo! :)

yey! thanks, wow hehe I want a food fight :D
wow I’m gonna have one of those one day lol just need someone willing to clean up hmm..haha

jetmoo wrote:

mumstheword wrote:
Of course Jetmoo! :)

yey! thanks, wow hehe I want a food fight :D
wow I’m gonna have one of those one day lol just need someone willing to clean up hmm..haha

Try a public cafeteria.

thepursuitofknowledg wrote:

jetmoo wrote:

mumstheword wrote:
Of course Jetmoo! :)

yey! thanks, wow hehe I want a food fight :D
wow I’m gonna have one of those one day lol just need someone willing to clean up hmm..haha

Try a public cafeteria.

aww no, that’s nasty. If I worked there I’d be really annoyed at having to clean it up. I was just kidding y’ know.

jetmoo wrote:

thepursuitofknowledg wrote:

jetmoo wrote:

mumstheword wrote:
Of course Jetmoo! :)

yey! thanks, wow hehe I want a food fight :D
wow I’m gonna have one of those one day lol just need someone willing to clean up hmm..haha

Try a public cafeteria.

aww no, that’s nasty. If I worked there I’d be really annoyed at having to clean it up. I was just kidding y’ know.

I should hope you weren’t taking me seriously. I earlier suggested a career in Pig Wrestling for someone.

oh ok lol

teleport myself to the Seychelles, transform into a mermaid and swim around :D

I would create an annual gender switch day so all the guys would know how hard it is being a girl and all the girls could have a break ;) lol actually maybe not, i think it would be a little traumatic…

several things involving jessica alba, a bank heist, several feet of rope, and a 1993 Ford Taurus.

Win the World Series of Poker 2010!

campion wrote:
I would create an annual gender switch day so all the guys would know how hard it is being a girl and all the girls could have a break ;) lol actually maybe not, i think it would be a little traumatic…

I’d like that, just so I could have a penis for a while to f***** people with. That would be awesome indeed.

OR instead of removing ‘religious intolerance’, just get rid of religion altogether? But I think something like that deserves another post… lol

Mhm :)

Im going to be horribly shallow, but it’s the truth
I’d love to
Get thin,
Be prettier,
More popular
recover(I’m sick)
Get enough points in the leaving cert to study Psychology
Take a gap year in Australia or America.
Nove to America when i’ve got my degree.
Oh and get a good fake ID :P

I would go ahead and try to re-discover my self…

Well, no I have friends and stuff. I don’t feel that people
don’t like me. I mean, obviously some people don’t and that’s grand
but, generally, I’m liked. I just don’t have all that many close friends.
Just 2 close ones actually, and they mean the world to me :D
Popular as in, I’d love to be part of the ‘it girl’ group. My school is so like
that movie mean girls it’s ridiculous. All my friends from other schools say it
too. Those girls do like me, and I’d have no problem chatting to them in school
but we wouldn’t hang out outside school. Did for a while, just the parties though.
And the thin&pretty thing is I’ve gained a lot of weight since I got sick (see my post
called “my first question!”) and I had JUST started feeling comfortable in my own skin
and now I can’t bear looking in the mirror at all cos I’m all puffy and fat and I’m freaking 16
and look like I’m 9 months pregnant in everything I wear (my stomach is shaped weird for
fat, it’s like hard and perfectly round except where my bellybutton is, my stomach goes in a bit there
not like rolls of fat, no rolls at all actually it’s exactly like a 9month pregnant belly, it just looks kinda like a
little slope in then slope out indent thing… Sorry TMI. Basically I look like a whale and it’s not fair

Id destroy the universe

anarchism, familys frequently have todler adapter seats
as for public restroms? abnormality costs, so keeping everything standard size will cut costs,,,dont expect to see anthing acomadating that would cost a company more money

i’d move to chicago to be with my fiannce, then i’d spend the rest of my life in a major univeristy, learning and teaching and getting as many degrees as possible, then if and when i got bored with that i’d start a show exposing and questioning the American Government and all of its lies and hypocrasyies.

Original on YouTube.com

Me?

If it was anything,i’d start by wiping all borders away,therefore eliminating ‘immigration’ as you’d be free to roam wherever you please,make the world a one currency,so there would be no moving to certain places to gain a better wage or lifestyle.
this is where it would get tough,i’d have some sort of ‘black budget’(unlimited resource basically),i think its termed that,put on everything to do with combatting climate change,facism,homelessness and hard drug rehabilitation.i’d focus more money towards families and parents,so that the next generation would have a better life.
Unfortunately,there would be undesirable people who wouldn’t want it to be like this,so they could keep up their campaigns of hate against certain religions,races and countrys.those people would be free ,if they disagreed,to do one to a very small island,so eventually there’d be so many there they’d all sink and therefore eliminating that problem :D

Oh,and i’d legalise weed fully,just for the hell of it..

thepursuitofknowledg wrote:
(Once you take over the world what else is there to do?)

- take over the universe or God, i guess

i>..if i could do whatever i wanted i’d be able to b>forgive* /b>..

* i’d be able to forgive all the people who’ve hurt me;
* i’d be able to forgive myself for not being smart enough to prevent all those people from hurting me;
* i’d be able to forgive God for making this world the way it is or allowing it to be the way it is..

then (if i could do whatever i wanted) i’d be able to understand evil and serve the God effectively and efficiently :) /i>

thanks for the question, anarchism.

well if its realistic, if i could be able to, i would brake up with my bf if he could just say ok and let me go. but the only reason i hang onto him is because he says he needs me. and i know a strong reason why… its because i do everything he wants. :\ so basically, i will give up how i want to live my life just so he can be satisfied. so basically, i live for him and not myself… :\ and he has anger management problems… he needs help… he needs a councilor… he doesnt have one… im all he has. i cant do much because im not strong enough. he lives in texas i live in california. i am 15 and… well… im probably stupid for being with him. i met him online. i talk to him on my cell. we have been together for almost half a year now. he is 14. he has no mom. his dad used to be what was considered bad. meaning, abusive. his mom is now sent in jail because she was found to have pounds of drugs in the back of her friends truck. his mom didnt even know her friend sold drugs. how am i supposed to deal with this child with no mother firgure without him getting mad at me because of his anger management problems?

i am his gf. we have decided we will marry eachother but thats when we are adults.
i told him i am always there for him when he needs me, but i dont think he is there for me :\

he tells me sorry when he knows he has done something wrong. I greatly appreciate that! I want him to be happy with me. I dont want to give him any stress. I dont want to cause him anymore problems. The thing here is… i do everything he tells me to do. I listen to him but… when i tell him something i wanna do he tells me things that will get me so i wont do them. if i get sleepy he will tell me “oh, so while ur going to sleep i dont wanna be lonely so im just gonna call someone else then to talk to instead!” freaking… i let him go to sleep… but when i want to he just gets me to not go to sleep and i end u forcing myself to stay awake.

i really dont think this problem will resolve unless if i tell him what i think abd how i feel. but if i do that he will be mad at me which i dont want.

is there any way to tell him how i feel without him getting mad at me or using anything against me?

yea i know… we are bf and gf and i shouldnt be afraid to tell him how i feel. i just love and care about him so much and i really want to be here for him but if hes just going to use things against me how can i like have a good relationship with him? i dont even ever use things against him. :\

fallingfrozenstar_9 wrote:

is there any way to tell him how i feel without him getting mad at me or using anything against me?

yea i know… we are bf and gf and i shouldnt be afraid to tell him how i feel. i just love and care about him so much and i really want to be here for him but if hes just going to use things against me how can i like have a good relationship with him? i dont even ever use things against him. :\

sweety! YOU DESERVE to be treated with respect! YOU DESERVE safe and happy life!

‘If you believe you can help your bf… It’s only natural that you want to help your bf. You may think you’re the only one who understands him or that it’s your responsibility to fix his problems. But the truth is that by staying and accepting repeated abuse and his behavior, you’re reinforcing and enabling the abusive behavior. Instead of helping your bf, you’re perpetuating the problem.’

- http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_…

sweety, if you both can not get a professional help your problems will probably only worsen. i’ve been in a relationship with a similar man and i understand that you love and care about him so much but to deal with his kind of behavior one needs a professional help.

if you would like an opinion of more people, make your post into a main post. i hope you can find help or a strength to leave him. best wishes, stay strong and remember - YOU DESERVE to be treated with respect and YOU DESERVE safe and happy life!

I would make Gummy Worms a fat free, low calorie, nutrient rich food!

M.y.a wrote:

fallingfrozenstar_9 wrote:

is there any way to tell him how i feel without him getting mad at me or using anything against me?

yea i know… we are bf and gf and i shouldnt be afraid to tell him how i feel. i just love and care about him so much and i really want to be here for him but if hes just going to use things against me how can i like have a good relationship with him? i dont even ever use things against him. :\

sweety! YOU DESERVE to be treated with respect! YOU DESERVE safe and happy life!

‘If you believe you can help your bf… It’s only natural that you want to help your bf. You may think you’re the only one who understands him or that it’s your responsibility to fix his problems. But the truth is that by staying and accepting repeated abuse and his behavior, you’re reinforcing and enabling the abusive behavior. Instead of helping your bf, you’re perpetuating the problem.’

- http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_…

sweety, if you both can not get a professional help your problems will probably only worsen. i’ve been in a relationship with a similar man and i understand that you love and care about him so much but to deal with his kind of behavior one needs a professional help.

if you would like an opinion of more people, make your post into a main post. i hope you can find help or a strength to leave him. best wishes, stay strong and remember - YOU DESERVE to be treated with respect and YOU DESERVE safe and happy life!

thank you so much!

i … i…. appreciate your appearance and help here. Ive been searching for help in all the wrong places. i do have a councilor… he doesn’t. I know things will work out ok. i dont think god would let me go through anything that i cant handle. maybe he might but thats just to test me. i have to much hope. >. and no respect for myself.

i think because i want my bf to give me more respect because i give him all respect.

what would happen if i tell him im on this site finding information thats upsetting me or watever? i have to think about how he might react and prepare myself to know how to react back and to also try not to get him even more mad. i guess another reason why i stay with him is because he is a challenge. And i like challenges :3 especially when i know i can gain power and confidence because im a girl. u know what i mean :3

fallingfrozenstar_9 wrote:

i guess another reason why i stay with him is because he is a challenge. And i like challenges :3 especially when i know i can gain power and confidence because im a girl. u know what i mean :3

yeah, i know what you mean.. been there done that.. just don’t forget that when you play with fire you might get burnt.. well, i did, auch

and fallingfrozenstar_9, remember, he has to change because he wants to change not because you want him to!

i think another reason why you stay with him is that you might be trying to avoid your own challenge - to get a respect for yourself! only when you respect yourself others will respect you..

___________________________________________________________________________ ______

‘Low self esteem and self confidence: Such feelings often lead to individuals dealing with other people in a passive way. By not asserting their rights, expressing their feelings or stating clearly what they want, they invite others to treat them in the same way. Low self esteem is reinforced in a vicious circle of passive responding and reduced self confidence.

Assertiveness Rights and Responsibilities

To be assertive is to understand that everyone has basic human rights that should be respected and upheld. Responding passively allows such rights to be neglected or ignored. In contrast, when behaving aggressively, the rights of others are abused.
What are considered personal rights will vary from person to person, however, an individual’s assertive rights will include the following:

* The right to feelings, opinions and values.
* The right to express what I want or how I feel.
* The right to change my mind.
* The right to make decisions.
* The right to say “I don’t know” and “I don’t understand.”
* The right to say “no” without feeling bad or guilty.
* The right to be non-assertive.
* The right to be myself.
* The right to privacy, to be alone and independent.
(Townend, 1991, pp.7-8)

http://www.volstudy.ac.uk/CIPSV/Asser… ‘
_________________________________________________________________________ ___________

You should start working on you self respect and you’ll see that it will show in other people’s behavior towards you also.

_________________________________________________________________________ __________

‘Put Your Energy Where the Power Is

Making headway in conflicts with aggressive personalities can only happen when you’re willing to invest your time and energy where you have unquestionable power: YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR. Besides, investing yourself in something in which you will necessarily experience success is exhilarating and confidence-building. The more confident and energized you are, the better your chances for achieving success in dealing with the problems at hand.

- In Sheep’s Clothing, George K. Simon, Jr. Ph.D.
_______________________________________________________________________ ____________

fallingfrozenstar_9 wrote:
I know things will work out ok. i dont think god would let me go through anything that i cant handle. maybe he might but thats just to test me. i have to much hope.

okay, i’ll pray for you and hope that i’ll hear from risingshiningstar soon! ;)

i broke up with him… although… i told him… i dont love him anymore. he told me that i put a hole in his heart and he told me that i promised him i would never brake up with him again. i feel like im being mean because im not giving him love that he needs cuz his moms in jail and i feel like im not respecting that. but all my friends dont want to see me get hurt… so im doing me and them a favor by breaking up with him… and my mom thinks i deserve better. which i know i do. if his mom never went to jail… then again… it seems like hes blaming his mom. theres only so little i can do. he does need help and i know im the only one who can help him but i cant cuz im not strong enough. i talked to my mom about this and im glad i did. yet, why cant i put out on what my mom wants me to do when im talking to him? i know… its probably because im nervous and i feel like im on the spot. Relationships are soo hard >. ” and im not even sure if its anyones fault. and if it is then its not only mine but both. >. ” issues.. >. and my maturety level is low >. ” “i dont wanna grow up i wanna be a toys R us kid” XD nah.. of coarse i know i have to grow up. cuz if i dont.. then i wont ever get a job and i wont ever mature. oh and one more thing…. i know for sure that all of my friends will mature and probably already have matured way faster than i. nyiiia! L.I.F.E >. “

M.y.a wrote:

fallingfrozenstar_9 wrote:

i guess another reason why i stay with him is because he is a challenge. And i like challenges :3 especially when i know i can gain power and confidence because im a girl. u know what i mean :3

yeah, i know what you mean.. been there done that.. just don’t forget that when you play with fire you might get burnt.. well, i did, auch

and fallingfrozenstar_9, remember, he has to change because he wants to change not because you want him to!

i think another reason why you stay with him is that you might be trying to avoid your own challenge - to get a respect for yourself! only when you respect yourself others will respect you..

___________________________________________________________________________ ______

‘Low self esteem and self confidence: Such feelings often lead to individuals dealing with other people in a passive way. By not asserting their rights, expressing their feelings or stating clearly what they want, they invite others to treat them in the same way. Low self esteem is reinforced in a vicious circle of passive responding and reduced self confidence.

Assertiveness Rights and Responsibilities

To be assertive is to understand that everyone has basic human rights that should be respected and upheld. Responding passively allows such rights to be neglected or ignored. In contrast, when behaving aggressively, the rights of others are abused.
What are considered personal rights will vary from person to person, however, an individual’s assertive rights will include the following:

* The right to feelings, opinions and values.
* The right to express what I want or how I feel.
* The right to change my mind.
* The right to make decisions.
* The right to say “I don’t know” and “I don’t understand.”
* The right to say “no” without feeling bad or guilty.
* The right to be non-assertive.
* The right to be myself.
* The right to privacy, to be alone and independent.
(Townend, 1991, pp.7-8)

http://www.volstudy.ac.uk/CIPSV/Asser… ‘
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You should start working on you self respect and you’ll see that it will show in other people’s behavior towards you also.

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‘Put Your Energy Where the Power Is

Making headway in conflicts with aggressive personalities can only happen when you’re willing to invest your time and energy where you have unquestionable power: YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR. Besides, investing yourself in something in which you will necessarily experience success is exhilarating and confidence-building. The more confident and energized you are, the better your chances for achieving success in dealing with the problems at hand.

- In Sheep’s Clothing, George K. Simon, Jr. Ph.D.
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fallingfrozenstar_9 wrote:
I know things will work out ok. i dont think god would let me go through anything that i cant handle. maybe he might but thats just to test me. i have to much hope.

okay, i’ll pray for you and hope that i’ll hear from risingshiningstar soon! ;)

fallingfrozenstar_9 wrote:
i broke up with him…

hi. i’m glad that you’d spoken to your mum and your friends and they all support you. i think you have done the right thing when you left him. he will blame you. he will try to make you feel guilty and responsible for his misery but please remember everyone is responsible for their own life! he can not change unless he wants to change. No counseling would work if he did it only for you.

okay, perhaps you should not tell him that you don’t love him anymore as clearly you do. you could have explained to him that you still love him but you can not help him if he does not want to and also that you are not strong enough, you cannot handle it; but then he could try persuading you to stay with him… relationships are hard for many people, young or old. i still don’t get it fully, doh :) you are not the only one who can help him! that is a trap. nothing’s stopping him to get help. you can always pray for him.

but as you wrote who’s fault is it that he’s in that situation? it’s not your fault! you’ve tried helping him but he did not want you to help him. he wanted you to support him the way he was so he did not have to change, no good. you’ve done the right thing leaving him. if he loves you he’ll realize that it’s his turn to work on himself now.

and hey, you are only 15, you’ll sure mature, take your time! once you mature you’ll be always matured, enjoy your teens now :) as long as you have a good support to who you can turn to for an advice it’s okay. keep a good relationship with your mum and your friends even when you have a bf so you have someone there when you need their help.

stay strong and i’ll pray for you. take care and enjoy yourself more :)

I will Escape from here….