Love help: Should I stay? - Help.com

Should I stay?

I’m in a bit of a rough patch.
I’ve been dating a girl now for about 5 months. We are separated in age by 2 years (I’m 23 and she’s 21) and I truly do love and care about her. We live together as of now because it’s economically easier on both of us. She’s in college and I have just started my first job out of college working for the state government. Up until the last few weeks we have always clicked. Communication was always easy for us and it felt like our relationship took no work at all. We would always have fun together and did everything together including me helping her with her studies. A few weeks ago she took a trip out to see her best girl friend and she had brief moments of doubt concerning our relationship due to her ex. We both came from serious relationships; I came from a failed engagement due my ex fiance cheating on me and she had her boyfriend of three years. She was supposed to take the trip with him and she began to wonder if she made the right choice by dating me or not giving him a second chance. She came back from the trip a bit distant and I had no clue what was going on or what was up. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and her phone lit up and the message “Well how do you feel when you hung out with him?” (Mind you I never check the phone of someone I’m with, it only creates problems…). This message caught me off guard and I confronted her. She ran into her ex at her college and she was discussing what to do about her feelings with her friend since she was nervous to come forward to me with it. I felt hurt that she would keep this from me and started to question her intentions with our relationship. We talked and she said she wanted to be with me and that these feelings would go away.

Since then she has built up a wall towards me and has become more distant. She has backed off on the affection, yet I question her if she wants this and she replies that she does and she wants to change. We argue a bit more than we used to. Last night we almost ended. We had been talking lately about our relationship since I told her that her actions and her answers don’t match. I admit that I’ve been asking a lot of questions lately but it’s hard not to when you care and love someone. She told me she wanted to keep working on this but I then got a call from her best friend, who I am very close with, stating that she got this message: I think we may break up and I may leave him, I’m not sure I love him anymore. I was then able to sit her down and confront her about this without revealing her friend as the informant. I felt betrayed and I started to pack up my things to leave. I then gave her the choice of either we give this a fair chance and try one last time or we can just stop right now but once we break up, there is no going back. I’m not one to take breaks and be toyed with. Either you work things out and stay together or not be together at all.
I’m not sure what to do. I feel in the last few weeks when she’s been “trying” that’ she’s had her guard up and refusing to let me in. She told me last night that she wanted to try (though I hope she made this decision because she truly wants to) and see what happens and I told her to only try if she will not keep her walls up. I’m not sure if she will and I’m very afraid she is just doing this to keep me around. I’ve thought that maybe if I moved out our relationship may get better but she also did live with her ex. I’d like to think I’m a good guy to her. I cook most nights of the week, help her without question when it comes to homework and studying, always pay the rent on time, surprise her when I can, help with cleaning and I’m always up for giving a good back rub. All of this is done without the expectation of a thank you or anything in return. I always give her the space she needs and I always encourage her to have a girl’s night whenever she wants.

I’m not sure what to do or if this will work. I wonder if her age is really showing or that she’s trying to prolong the inevitable. I will admit, I have felt used in the last few weeks as I’m always helping her and I don’t get much acknowledgment or a thank you. I want to trust her because I love and care about her but I’m not sure if she will actually open up this time.

Any ideas of what to do? I’m just tired of asking her questions at all times. Should I just see how things go?

Should I stay?

I’m in a bit of a rough patch.
I’ve been dating a girl now for about 5 months. We are separated in age by 2 years (I’m 23 and she’s 21) and I truly do love and care about her. We live together as of now because it’s economically easier on both of us. She’s in college and I have just started my first job out of college working for the state government. Up until the last few weeks we have always clicked. Communication was always easy for us and it felt like our relationship took no work at all. We would always have fun together and did everything together including me helping her with her studies. A few weeks ago she took a trip out to see her best girl friend and she had brief moments of doubt concerning our relationship due to her ex. We both came from serious relationships; I came from a failed engagement due my ex fiance cheating on me and she had her boyfriend of three years who also cheated on her. She was supposed to take the trip with him and she began to wonder if she made the right choice by dating me or not giving him a second chance. She came back from the trip a bit distant and I had no clue what was going on or what was up. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and her phone lit up and the message “Well how do you feel when you hung out with him?” (Mind you I never check the phone of someone I’m with, it only creates problems…). This message caught me off guard and I confronted her. She ran into her ex at her college and she was discussing what to do about her feelings with her friend since she was nervous to come forward to me with it. I felt hurt that she would keep this from me and started to question her intentions with our relationship. We talked and she said she wanted to be with me and that these feelings would go away.

Since then she has built up a wall towards me and has become more distant. She has backed off on the affection, yet I question her if she wants this and she replies that she does and she wants to change. We argue a bit more than we used to. Last night we almost ended. We had been talking lately about our relationship since I told her that her actions and her answers don’t match. I admit that I’ve been asking a lot of questions lately but it’s hard not to when you care and love someone. She told me she wanted to keep working on this but I then got a call from her best friend, who I am very close with, stating that she got this message: I think we may break up and I may leave him, I’m not sure I love him anymore. I was then able to sit her down and confront her about this without revealing her friend as the informant. I felt betrayed and I started to pack up my things to leave. I then gave her the choice of either we give this a fair chance and try one last time or we can just stop right now but once we break up, there is no going back. I’m not one to take breaks and be toyed with. Either you work things out and stay together or not be together at all.
I’m not sure what to do. I feel in the last few weeks when she’s been “trying” that’ she’s had her guard up and refusing to let me in. She told me last night that she wanted to try (though I hope she made this decision because she truly wants to) and see what happens and I told her to only try if she will not keep her walls up. I’m not sure if she will and I’m very afraid she is just doing this to keep me around. I’ve thought that maybe if I moved out our relationship may get better but she also did live with her ex. I’d like to think I’m a good guy to her. I cook most nights of the week, help her without question when it comes to homework and studying, always pay the rent on time, surprise her when I can, help with cleaning and I’m always up for giving a good back rub. All of this is done without the expectation of a thank you or anything in return. I always give her the space she needs and I always encourage her to have a girl’s night whenever she wants.

I’m not sure what to do or if this will work. I wonder if her age is really showing or that she’s trying to prolong the inevitable. I will admit, I have felt used in the last few weeks as I’m always helping her and I don’t get much acknowledgment or a thank you. I want to trust her because I love and care about her but I’m not sure if she will actually open up this time.

Any ideas of what to do? I’m just tired of asking her questions at all times. Should I just see how things go?

Should I stay?

I’m in a bit of a rough patch.
I’ve been dating a girl now for about 5 months. We are separated in age by 2 years (I’m 23 and she’s 21) and I truly do love and care about her. We live together as of now because it’s economically easier on both of us. She’s in college and I have just started my first job out of college working for the state government. Up until the last few weeks we have always clicked. Communication was always easy for us and it felt like our relationship took no work at all. We would always have fun together and did everything together including me helping her with her studies. A few weeks ago she took a trip out to see her best girl friend and she had brief moments of doubt concerning our relationship due to her ex. We both came from serious relationships; I came from a failed engagement due my ex fiance cheating on me and she had her boyfriend of three years who also cheated on her and humiliated her. She was supposed to take the trip with him and she began to wonder if she made the right choice by dating me or not giving him a second chance. She came back from the trip a bit distant and I had no clue what was going on or what was up. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and her phone lit up and the message “Well how do you feel when you hung out with him?” (Mind you I never check the phone of someone I’m with, it only creates problems…). This message caught me off guard and I confronted her. She ran into her ex at her college and she was discussing what to do about her feelings with her friend since she was nervous to come forward to me with it. I felt hurt that she would keep this from me and started to question her intentions with our relationship. We talked and she said she wanted to be with me and that these feelings would go away.

Since then she has built up a wall towards me and has become more distant. She has backed off on the affection, yet I question her if she wants this and she replies that she does and she wants to change. We argue a bit more than we used to. Last night we almost ended. We had been talking lately about our relationship since I told her that her actions and her answers don’t match. I admit that I’ve been asking a lot of questions lately but it’s hard not to when you care and love someone. She told me she wanted to keep working on this but I then got a call from her best friend, who I am very close with, stating that she got this message: I think we may break up and I may leave him, I’m not sure I love him anymore. I was then able to sit her down and confront her about this without revealing her friend as the informant. I felt betrayed and I started to pack up my things to leave. I then gave her the choice of either we give this a fair chance and try one last time or we can just stop right now but once we break up, there is no going back. I’m not one to take breaks and be toyed with. Either you work things out and stay together or not be together at all.
I’m not sure what to do. I feel in the last few weeks when she’s been “trying” that’ she’s had her guard up and refusing to let me in. She told me last night that she wanted to try (though I hope she made this decision because she truly wants to) and see what happens and I told her to only try if she will not keep her walls up. I’m not sure if she will and I’m very afraid she is just doing this to keep me around. I’ve thought that maybe if I moved out our relationship may get better but she also did live with her ex. I’d like to think I’m a good guy to her. I cook most nights of the week, help her without question when it comes to homework and studying, always pay the rent on time, surprise her when I can, help with cleaning and I’m always up for giving a good back rub. All of this is done without the expectation of a thank you or anything in return. I always give her the space she needs and I always encourage her to have a girl’s night whenever she wants.

I’m not sure what to do or if this will work. I wonder if her age is really showing or that she’s trying to prolong the inevitable. I will admit, I have felt used in the last few weeks as I’m always helping her and I don’t get much acknowledgment or a thank you. I want to trust her because I love and care about her but I’m not sure if she will actually open up this time.

Any ideas of what to do? I’m just tired of asking her questions at all times. Should I just see how things go?

Should I stay?

I’m in a bit of a rough patch.
I’ve been dating a girl now for about 5 months. We are separated in age by 2 years (I’m 23 and she’s 21) and I truly do love and care about her. We live together as of now because it’s economically easier on both of us. She’s in college and I have just started my first job out of college working for the state government. Up until the last few weeks we have always clicked. Communication was always easy for us and it felt like our relationship took no work at all. We would always have fun together and did everything together including me helping her with her studies. A few weeks ago she took a trip out to see her best girl friend and she had brief moments of doubt concerning our relationship due to her ex. We both came from serious relationships; I came from a failed engagement due my ex fiance cheating on me and she had her boyfriend of three years who also cheated on her and humiliated her. She was supposed to take the trip with him and she began to wonder if she made the right choice by dating me or not giving him a second chance. She came back from the trip a bit distant and I had no clue what was going on or what was up. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and her phone lit up and the message “Well how do you feel when you hung out with him?” (Mind you I never check the phone of someone I’m with, it only creates problems…). This message caught me off guard and I confronted her. She ran into her ex at her college and she was discussing what to do about her feelings with her friend since she was nervous to come forward to me with it. I felt hurt that she would keep this from me and started to question her intentions with our relationship. We talked and she said she wanted to be with me and that these feelings would go away.

Since then she has built up a wall towards me and has become more distant. She has backed off on the affection, yet I question her if she wants this and she replies that she does and she wants to change. We argue a bit more than we used to. Last night we almost ended. We had been talking lately about our relationship since I told her that her actions and her answers don’t match. I admit that I’ve been asking a lot of questions lately but it’s hard not to when you care and love someone. She told me she wanted to keep working on this but I then got a call from her best friend, who I am very close with, stating that she got this message: I think we may break up and I may leave him, I’m not sure I love him anymore. I was then able to sit her down and confront her about this without revealing her friend as the informant. I felt betrayed and I started to pack up my things to leave. I then gave her the choice of either we give this a fair chance and try one last time or we can just stop right now but once we break up, there is no going back. I’m not one to take breaks and be toyed with. Either you work things out and stay together or not be together at all.
I’m not sure what to do. I feel in the last few weeks when she’s been “trying” that’ she’s had her guard up and refusing to let me in. She told me last night that she wanted to try (though I hope she made this decision because she truly wants to) and see what happens and I told her to only try if she will not keep her walls up. I’m not sure if she will and I’m very afraid she is just doing this to keep me around. I’ve thought that maybe if I moved out our relationship may get better but she also did live with her ex and I have asked her if she was sure about living with me and she said yes. I’d like to think I’m a good guy to her. I cook most nights of the week, help her without question when it comes to homework and studying, always pay the rent on time, surprise her when I can, help with cleaning and I’m always up for giving a good back rub. All of this is done without the expectation of a thank you or anything in return. I always give her the space she needs and I always encourage her to have a girl’s night whenever she wants.

I’m not sure what to do or if this will work. I wonder if her age is really showing or that she’s trying to prolong the inevitable. I will admit, I have felt used in the last few weeks as I’m always helping her and I don’t get much acknowledgment or a thank you. I want to trust her because I love and care about her but I’m not sure if she will actually open up this time.

Any ideas of what to do? I’m just tired of asking her questions at all times. Should I just see how things go?

Should I stay?

I’m in a bit of a rough patch.
I’ve been dating a girl now for about 5 months. We are separated in age by 2 years (I’m 23 and she’s 21) and I truly do love and care about her. We live together as of now because it’s economically easier on both of us. She’s in college and I have just started my first job out of college working for the state government. Up until the last few weeks we have always clicked. Communication was always easy for us and it felt like our relationship took no work at all. We would always have fun together and did everything together including me helping her with her studies. A few weeks ago she took a trip out to see her best girl friend and she had brief moments of doubt concerning our relationship due to her ex. We both came from serious relationships; I came from a failed engagement due my ex fiance cheating on me and she had her boyfriend of three years who also cheated on her and humiliated her. She was supposed to take the trip with him and she began to wonder if she made the right choice by dating me or not giving him a second chance. She came back from the trip a bit distant and I had no clue what was going on or what was up. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and her phone lit up and the message “Well how do you feel when you hung out with him?” (Mind you I never check the phone of someone I’m with, it only creates problems…). This message caught me off guard and I confronted her. She ran into her ex at her college and she was discussing what to do about her feelings with her friend since she was nervous to come forward to me with it. I felt hurt that she would keep this from me and started to question her intentions with our relationship. We talked and she said she wanted to be with me and that these feelings would go away.

Since then she has built up a wall towards me and has become more distant. She has backed off on the affection, yet I question her if she wants this and she replies that she does and she wants to change. We argue a bit more than we used to. Last night we almost ended. We had been talking lately about our relationship since I told her that her actions and her answers don’t match. I admit that I’ve been asking a lot of questions lately but it’s hard not to when you care and love someone. She told me she wanted to keep working on this but I then got a call from her best friend, who I am very close with, stating that she got this message: I think we may break up and I may leave him, I’m not sure I love him anymore. I was then able to sit her down and confront her about this without revealing her friend as the informant. I felt betrayed and I started to pack up my things to leave. I then gave her the choice of either we give this a fair chance and try one last time or we can just stop right now but once we break up, there is no going back. I’m not one to take breaks and be toyed with. Either you work things out and stay together or not be together at all.
I’m not sure what to do. I feel in the last few weeks when she’s been “trying” that’ she’s had her guard up and refusing to let me in. She told me last night that she wanted to try (though I hope she made this decision because she truly wants to) and see what happens and I told her to only try if she will not keep her walls up. I’m not sure if she will and I’m very afraid she is just doing this to keep me around. I’ve thought that maybe if I moved out our relationship may get better but she also did live with her ex and I have asked her if she was sure about living with me and she said yes. I’d like to think I’m a good guy to her. I cook most nights of the week, help her without question when it comes to homework and studying, always pay the rent on time, surprise her when I can, help with cleaning and I’m always up for giving a good back rub. All of this is done without the expectation of a thank you or anything in return. I always give her the space she needs and I always encourage her to have a girl’s night whenever she wants.

I’m not sure what to do or if this will work. I wonder if her age is really showing or that she’s trying to prolong the inevitable. I will admit, I have felt used in the last few weeks as I’m always helping her and I don’t get much acknowledgment or a thank you. I want to trust her because I love and care about her but I’m not sure if she will actually open up this time. I just don’t to work on this and suddenly be dumped when I thought and was told that things were improving.

Any ideas of what to do? I’m just tired of asking her questions at all times. Should I just see how things go?