Love help: My girlfriend wants to have THAT talk the one were we talk bout - Help.com

put the dirt on the table and dont hide anything

I am afried of upseting her beacuse some of the word i use are quite blunt and can be takin in the wrong way i dont want it to sound like am say load of horrid thing beacuse thats no the way i think of her

If you are aware that you cna be blunt when you speak then you are capable of ensuring you come across differently….

good point maybe just slow down and try to get the point across more kindly

Yeah… think before you speak and it’s not a case of softening the blow but just being careful how you phrase things…

Tell her the things you like and thin tell her how you wish things could be.

“I wish we wouldn’t argue so much.”

“I really like it when you affirm the things I’m doing right. It makes me feel so happy and I would love it if that could happen more often.”

Tell her what you want instead of telling her what she’s doing wrong.

“If you’re mad at me, I would like it if you could wait until we’re alone to talk about it.”

that all sounds good but what if thier is one thing that i realy think needs to be said n i cant work round it beacuse it is a deal breaker

Like?

the fact that even tho its not only me that she does it to, but she talks to me like im a child and when she does this no matter what its over i get realy frustarted and just close up n get quite upset beacuse i think it insulting

“I like it when you talk to me like an equal. I like it when you ask my opinion and I feel like you are really listening to what I’m saying. I just want to tell you something that makes me feel frustrated. Sometimes I feel like I’m being spoken to like a child. This makes it hard for me to put my best into the relationship because I don’t feel respected.”

If you have trouble keeping your cool in person you could always give her a well thought out note.

Well you need to be honest with her. Don’t be afraid to tell her the truth because if she truly loves you she will understand everything you are saying and not judge you at all. Since you’re blunt try to make things as clear and truthful as possible. Lol It will all work out. And about the 2 months being rocky… I’ve been dating my fiance’ for a little over a year now, and their will be a lot of rocky spaces. But if you two really love each other you WILL make it through! Hope I helped!

~Alissa Ramey~
(Alissa Fisher)