guys help: i get told im fun to talk to, but thats only the first few days i text people. - Help.com

How to Find Things to Talk About

Running out of things to talk about can be an excruciating experience, particularly when you want to impress the person you’re talking to. Fortunately, there are simple, easy-to-learn ways to avoid this fate.

Steps

1. Get away from the idea of “Running Out of Things to Talk About”! There is no way you can run out of things to talk about — you have the whole world at your disposal! Make your aim to keep both of you occupied chatting, or something like that.

2. Take the pressure off yourself. It is not just your responsibility to keep the conversation going—it takes two to tango. If the other person is really not interested in your conversation, there’s nothing you can do to make them talk!

3. Focus on the small things. People are most comfortable making small talk — especially easy small talk. Think about your conversation partner and what they were doing just before they started talking to you, how they got there, who they are with, where they came from, what they’re doing later… and so on.

4. If you find yourself struggling for things to say, focus on relaxing for a moment. The more relaxed you are, the more creatively your brain will work in coming up with new ideas.

5. Ask open-ended questions. Closed questions are those that can be answered ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, which doesn’t tend to help the conversation flow!

6. It’s true that “It ain’t what you say, it’s the way that you say it” - While it helps to be witty, funny and interesting, don’t worry about meeting those high standards; just be friendly and have fun. Your relaxed attitude will relax the other person, and they will be more receptive to you because of it. But if you do have the creative tongue then use it!! People love jokes because laughing eases tension. Be yourself.

More Tips

* You could keep up-to-date with current affairs for conversational fodder, or you could use whatever is around at the time - like the other person’s interests, stuff that’s happened that day - that sort of thing.

* Don’t be too anxious to move on to the next subject of conversation. As you get more and more practice you should be able to tell when you have ‘dried up’ a topic and should move on to the next.

* Think about the person’s past or future you can talk about (e.g. where they recently lived, how long they lived there, what they want to do when they’re older, etc.).

* Remember, in order to talk about something, you’re going to have to DO that certain something. People don’t like to hear your exploits of attaining level 78 on that World Of Warcraft game you’ve been working on for the past three years. They want to hear about you in action. Find a job, go to the park, read a book. Don’t just slouch around at home.

Some more Tips and some Warnings

* Don’t get too heavy! Something that will put people off talking very quickly is moving to ‘big talk’ too soon. Talking about the weather, your holiday or what’s in the news can tell you a lot about each other, without resorting to “my deep feelings on world poverty”.

* Don’t talk about yourself too much. This will increase the pressure on you, and it gets pretty boring from that point on.

* Talking about very serious things is usually a bad idea, unless you know how the person you’re talking with will react to it. Try to steer clear of death, illnesses, politics, and religion, unless your conversation partner dives in first. Since you can’t be sure what their stance on the subject is, use diplomatic wording, but don’t lie about your beliefs or opinions.

* Don`t talk about things that the person is not interested in!

* Keep in mind, you want them to meet the real you, so be yourself.

Do stuff.

Then talk about what you do and give opinions on it.

Opinions are what really get conversations going. They also help both sides see if they are compatible.

And don’t email, text or phone.

Know what I hate? A girl who blabs forever on the phone or in emails. MEET in person. DO STUFF together. THen compare notes and talk about it. If all you ever do is talk then you ARE boring. DO STUFF!

i want to do things with him but i dont want to be the one to take control, and were both always busy with school and family tha we never have time.

If you run out of things to talk about regularly, maybe it’s because you don’t have a lot to talk about… treat the main issue (which is not having a lot to say) not the byproduct (not having a lot to say to guys).

Get passionate about things, read books, watch movies, learn things, go out and have a good time with friends, do exciting stuff that will lead to exciting stories, explore places, get into (innocent) trouble, expand the boundaries of who you are and what you do.

If you expand who you are, what you know, and what you do… you’ll ALWAYS have a lot more to talk about, and a lot more to say.

Granted, this process takes some time… the shortcut is to just voice a strong opinion about everything, even if you don’t really have an opinion or care one way or another.

For example, Dude:”So what’s up?” You:”Oh my gawd! I was like so totally walking down the street the other day when this guy like drove by in this totally awesome (insert type of car here), and I was like NO WAY, that is like sooo totally kewl! But then I was like, but a (insert another type here) would so totally smoke that jalopey!”

You can modify the above for anything! Gummy Worms are better than Gummy Bears, The Rams are better than the Bears, CSI Miami is better than CSI Pocatello, say anything with enough passion, pretend that you care about the opinion that much… and you have an instant interesting conversation.

Keep in mind, this will come off a bit ditzy and shallow, but that’s how most of these douchebag dudes like women anyways.

So, you can fake it for the douchies, or expand your world and upgrade to the real deal. Your choice, good luck!

Just keep it to a minimum - if nothing else follow the maxim that it’s possible to have too much of a good thing - sign off sometimes with a smile and a kiss and tell him you’re about to do something interesting…then take a break - surely you’ll seem boring or even become boring if your world is revolving around trying to make conversation on text…and that goes for him too :)

Anonymous wrote:
i want to do things with him but i dont want to be the one to take control, and were both always busy with school and family tha we never have time.

So do things on your own and be an interesting person. You’ll enjoy life a lot more doing stuff than struggling to talk with some guy who doesn’t have the guts to ask you out.

The more you do stuff, the more guys you will run into anyway and they will be attracted to your energy.