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Help my father stop drinking!

My dad has problems…3 things,
1) He drinks, but not just wine or beer, he drinks gin and burbon, which will get you drunk a lot faster than wine or beer, and this has screwed up his relationship with God.
2) He always has sex on his mind
3) He is rude to my mother

One night he got drunk and called a woman, (my mother was working this night) I was in my room, trying to go to sleep. But I couldn’t….I was having a nightmare Except, my I was awake, and the nightmare was still going on! My father had called a woman and from what I could hear from my room, was telling her he was going to go to her house and have sex with her! Think for a sec, think if your dad said on the phone with someone you don’t know he was going to leave your house and have sex with that woman! IT’S TERRIFYING!!!! The woman also seemed to want to have sex with my father, it’s possible she was an old girlfriend of his. This scarred me for life…Thankfully, my dad fell asleep while talking to the woman. He never did end up going to the womans house.

He tends to get drunk about 2-4 days a week. And he’s terribly rude to my mother. When he gets drunk, all he cares about is sex. He doesn’t care what God wants him to do. In fact, I’m not sure at all what my father believes in! He goes to church, says he’s a Christian, but doesn’t act like one….He swears, he drinks, Who knows when the last time was when he read a Bible! (His Bible next to his bed is incredibly dusty) and he’s addicted to sex! (as I am typing this now I can hear him putting ice into his glass as he refills his glass with burbon) He’s a jerk to my mom, like really! He just yells at her a lot and complains thinking he does everything to run our family (he does about 20 %, which is getting us money) my mom is awesome though how she just sucks it up…I on the other hand tend to fight back at him when he complains to me, and he eventually ends up blaming whatever we are fighting about on my mom. I don’t expect they will divorce, but I can’t guarantee that they won’t divorce. He DOES have “drinking friends”, all of his brothers (2 brothers) drink. But they control their drinking better than my father does. He does tend to sometimes talk about sex on the phone with one of his brothers….And last, he does swear, like a mad man. He swears everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. He says the “big” words too. Like the F word, the S, the B, mainly the F….He also gambols…..A lot….He always wants to go to a casino….We’ve lost around 10,000 because of his gamboling….

I’ve prayed to God about all of this. God has answered all my prayers. Except this one. I’m starting to think God may want to help my dad, but through me. But I don’t know what to do….I’m only 13! All my family hates that he drinks. But no one seems to do anything about it. I want to. But I don’t know what to do.

Thank you for reading this. It’s just something I wanted to get off my chest. I’ve told this to people before. And I feel good when I do. I hope someone can give me some advice……Before I have another nightmare…..

This open post was written 1 month ago | V/U/S: 159, 7, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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drunk father help abuse drinking alcohol, help me, drunk dad sex abuse (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (7)

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rgray10 offline Verified User (1 month, 1 week) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month ago (19 minutes after post)

You need to identify the cause of your fathers drinking before you can solve it. Even if he doesn’t talk about it it doesn’t mean there isn’t a reason.

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Sans offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 57 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month ago (51 minutes after post)

You can’t solve his problem. He has to want to get help.

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Sans offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 57 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 month ago (52 minutes after post)

Maybe if you let him know that his personality changes and gets nasty when he’s drunk, he’ll think about it. But tell him when he’s sober.

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kain16 offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month ago (1 hour, 3 minutes after post)

You should probably tell him how you feel about his behavior it might give him the incentive to stop drinking etc, if you show him its a problem he may want to solve it. And even if he doesn’t believe or doesn’t consider himself a christian that doesn’t make him a bad person.

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Helper626 offline Verified User (1 month, 2 weeks) Shouts: 11 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month ago (1 hour, 32 minutes after post)

Try filming him while he is drunk one time and show him how he really acts and hurts everyone when he is drunk. Sober he can listen to you and see how he truely is with his booze.
Good Luck my friend

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Anonymous #
1 month ago (2 hours, 44 minutes after post)

For a start, his relationship with ‘God’ is his own, this should not be your concern, your only concern in his relationships is the one he has with you and your family, which is defiantly a reason to worry

Your mother is not awesome for ’sucking it up’, I understand your wanting to think the highest of her but in fact she is enabling his behavior, why she chooses too I cant say but there are many common reasons like being in denial or being afraid of breaking up the family, but the fact is as long as shes ’sucking it up’ he has absolutely no reason to change, do a google search on enabling alcohol to learn why this is actually just as bad to an alcoholic as the drink itself

What you need to do is a lot of research and become educated on alcoholism especially the enabling of it by family members.
You need to approach your mother with this information and explain not only that its not helping your dad but its having a huge impact on you
You need to develop a plan with her, an intervention is you will and clearly define certain points in your plan, its very important though that your both willing to stick to it.
For a start, you both need to visit a drug and alcohol counselor who can help you to devise a plan of action, it will be very important that your willing to execute any consequences to your fathers non action if he refuses to change his ways, like being willing to pack up and leave.
If your mother refuses to come to her senses and help you to instigate a plan of action you need to make your decision and either leave yourself or bite your tongue and live with it all

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phillipss3 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 weeks, 1 day ago (2 weeks, 1 day after post)

Hi,to begin with well done for wanting to seek help to solve the difficulties that have arisen in your family and that which is caused by the alcohol consumption of your Dad.
It makes me really sad that you have this huge stress to deal with when you are only 13. As a parent when you have children you want to protect your children and help them to grow up to be able to live happy and independently and emotionally sound, it may be like the above post said that your mum wants to protect you from whatever after effect would happen if she were to confront the issue of your dad drinking full on, such as the option of leaving him.

I don’t know much about alcoholism but I agree that the more you read up on it the more it will help you to understand your dad’s behaviour and the possible things that can be tried to help make the situation better.

In life or as I have seen so far, people only tend to change their behaviour when they have decided to make the change and I agree that if your Dad isn’t in a place right now where he fully realises the effects his drinking has on his family or is aware that he has an addiction then it will be really hard for you to get him to change his behaviour.

From what I can remember life at 13 is challenging in itself with all the hormone changes and learning about yourself that takes place and dealing with something like this day in day out in your family home must be very difficult and worrying.

There’s no easy solutions to life’s problems I’m afraid, if only we all had a fairy god mother to wave a magic wand and make our lives simpler eh!?

I wish you all the best in managing to cope with the situation your in and you will be in my prayers tonight. Just remember this is a time where you can learn from the experiences you go through and if you do not succeed in making the situation better with your dad and the effects his drinking has on you and your family, its not your fault. Although it’s hard and you might not be able to do anything right now, in years to come you will be able to be your own person, choose not to make the same choices your dad has and let alcohol become such a negative influence in your life and be there to support your mum if she needs it.

good luck sweetheart and take care : )

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