Love help: I just want to break down and cry( i know this is long… but i need your help) - Help.com

I just want to break down and cry…
i thought it was going to be the best halloween ever… i have i big crush on my neighbor’s cousin, matt. his family was coming for halloween and i was trick or treating with my neighbor, daniel, my neighbor, brendan, matt and my best friend carly. i was dressing up as a baby, i had footie pjs and a pacifier.. i even carried around a teddy bear and had my hair in pig tails! anyway, carly was a cat, brendan was a redskins player, matt was a skateboarder, and daniel was bugs bunny.matt lives 2 hours away, so it was a big deal, because i had been thinking about him nonstop since that last time i saw him in july. he and his family arrived, and everyone met up at my house for pizza.
we set out for trick or treating and all was going.. okay i guess. everyone (including matt) knows that i am obsessed with him ( which is terrible but i live and act like its no big deal. the night gets worse and worse as we go through the neighborhood and i get the feeling that matt hates me ( not like hes mad at me, but just like.. “eww!”). carlys cat costume is black spandex, and im in a flecce jumpsuit… so carly looks hot and all the guys are joking around and think she looks hot (including matt) while i feel like a rag. matt jokes around and is like “yeah id kiss anyone BUT caroline! haha!” i know hes joking.. but i also know its true.. so i laugh and walk in front of the group… so that i can secretly pout my lip and sniffle :(
we went back to daniels basement and decided to play truth or dare when things took a turn for the worst. carly and matt exchanged phone numbers casually ( dont know if that means anything i hope) and i changed out of my footy pajamas into a white see through top.. but i held a pillow to my chest so the boys didnt see my bra. then… the worst. i was dared to kiss matt… on the lips! i decided not to make a big deal about it and just be cool, since everyone was saying ” ahaha! she wants to!” when i just leaned in to peck him akwardly, he leaned back and closed his eyes nervously. i didnt tilt my head so we bumps noses, and i barely skimmed his lips weirdly, and started cracking up, then he did and we all did. it was funny at that moment, but it turned ugly, when matt shouted out “you spit on my lip!” i knew i didnt, and brendan kept pushing it, so i just laughed and said ” no way!”. matt had been giving comments the entire night, also.. like, when someone said “matt kiss so and so on the cheek” he’d be all, “oh thank god its not caroline!” and laugh, id give him a look that said ” seriously?” and laughed along… but everytime he said that… my heart felt like a hammer smashed into it, and i was going to burst at any moment. when he left, i didn’t bother saying goodbye… i had never been so embarrased… daniel knew what my problem was… i had never kissed or been kissed by a boy before.. so i had never done anything lip to lip… i panicked… and wish i could just do it over. daniel gave me a little look that said “sorry!” then a rowdy group of friends burst into the basement, boys from our grade whom we were expecting. brendan told them the whole thing, and two of the guys, danny and kyle, bugged me nonstop… so i gathered my things and went into the garage, where i motioned daniel to come talk. ” every moment of this night…” i began, “i wanted to crawl into a hole and die. happy halloween” i said as i pressed the button to open the garage door. i didnt see his reaction… and i didnt want to.
i walked across the street, and nobody has home at my house bc my parents were at a party down the block. i slammed the door, ran up to my room… and i sat on my bed with my candy bag as i toppled onto a big pillow… and the tears came…
never in my life have i been so embarrased that i would cry.. let alone bawl uncontrollably. after 5 minutes of crying my eyes out, the phone rang. it was daniel calling to see if i was home and to tell me that his parents told him to remind me that my parents were at the party… then there was a pause ” and uh… sorry…” he muttered. he didnt need to say it, we both knew what he was talking about. tears burst ou of my sockets as i muttered “no biggie…” i started to cry even harder than before. i wish i could say more… but i didn’t. with tears in my eyes, i whimpered ” i have to go…” and pressed the “end call” button.

i cried for a whole hour…. this was the worst halloween ever…. and i thought it was going to be the best. you would think that i would get over him… let me tell you something… i have been trying for 3 months just to get over him and move on… but there is this drive that makes me obsessive… this may sound stalkerish, but i have had 5 dreams.. with him in it.

i need to get over this embarrasment. i should have told him, even casually, that i wanted to start over. i wish i could just start over… because i cant talk to anyone. no guy is ever going to see me as more than the girl who dreams of boys during the day… or rarely, a friend. for now… matt… if ANYWAY you see this at anypoint in your life… all im asking for is friendship… and you ignore me… i try to be playful and joke around. but i guess ur not interested. i want to let you know… that i am.

IF ANYONE can please give me advice on how to get over this embarrasment… how to tell how i feel without it being akward for the both of us… plus without it seeming like a cheezy movie?

love ya,
Caroline Long

P.S.- If anyone who was mentioned here reads this ever… quit it… because my life is bad enough

I just want to break down and cry…
i thought it was going to be the best halloween ever… i have i big crush on my neighbor’s cousin, matt. his family was coming for halloween and i was trick or treating with my neighbor, daniel, my neighbor, brendan, matt and my best friend carly. i was dressing up as a baby, i had footie pjs and a pacifier.. i even carried around a teddy bear and had my hair in pig tails! anyway, carly was a cat, brendan was a redskins player, matt was a skateboarder, and daniel was bugs bunny.matt lives 2 hours away, so it was a big deal, because i had been thinking about him nonstop since that last time i saw him in july. he and his family arrived, and everyone met up at my house for pizza.
we set out for trick or treating and all was going.. okay i guess. everyone (including matt) knows that i am obsessed with him ( which is terrible but i live and act like its no big deal. the night gets worse and worse as we go through the neighborhood and i get the feeling that matt hates me ( not like hes mad at me, but just like.. “eww!”). carlys cat costume is black spandex, and im in a flecce jumpsuit… so carly looks hot and all the guys are joking around and think she looks hot (including matt) while i feel like a rag. matt jokes around and is like “yeah id kiss anyone BUT caroline! haha!” i know hes joking.. but i also know its true.. so i laugh and walk in front of the group… so that i can secretly pout my lip and sniffle :(
we went back to daniels basement and decided to play truth or dare when things took a turn for the worst. carly and matt exchanged phone numbers casually ( dont know if that means anything i hope) and i changed out of my footy pajamas into a white see through top.. but i held a pillow to my chest so the boys didnt see my bra. then… the worst. i was dared to kiss matt… on the lips! i decided not to make a big deal about it and just be cool, since everyone was saying ” ahaha! she wants to!” when i just leaned in to peck him akwardly, he leaned back and closed his eyes nervously. i didnt tilt my head so we bumps noses, and i barely skimmed his lips weirdly, and started cracking up, then he did and we all did. it was funny at that moment, but it turned ugly, when matt shouted out “you spit on my lip!” i knew i didnt, and brendan kept pushing it, so i just laughed and said ” no way!”. matt had been giving comments the entire night, also.. like, when someone said “matt kiss so and so on the cheek” he’d be all, “oh thank god its not caroline!” and laugh, id give him a look that said ” seriously?” and laughed along… but everytime he said that… my heart felt like a hammer smashed into it, and i was going to burst at any moment. when he left, i didn’t bother saying goodbye… i had never been so embarrased… daniel knew what my problem was… i had never kissed or been kissed by a boy before.. so i had never done anything lip to lip… i panicked… and wish i could just do it over. daniel gave me a little look that said “sorry!” then a rowdy group of friends burst into the basement, boys from our grade whom we were expecting. brendan told them the whole thing, and two of the guys, danny and kyle, bugged me nonstop… so i gathered my things and went into the garage, where i motioned daniel to come talk. ” every moment of this night…” i began, “i wanted to crawl into a hole and die. happy halloween” i said as i pressed the button to open the garage door. i didnt see his reaction… and i didnt want to.
i walked across the street, and nobody has home at my house bc my parents were at a party down the block. i slammed the door, ran up to my room… and i sat on my bed with my candy bag as i toppled onto a big pillow… and the tears came…
never in my life have i been so embarrased that i would cry.. let alone bawl uncontrollably. after 5 minutes of crying my eyes out, the phone rang. it was daniel calling to see if i was home and to tell me that his parents told him to remind me that my parents were at the party… then there was a pause ” and uh… sorry…” he muttered. he didnt need to say it, we both knew what he was talking about. tears burst ou of my sockets as i muttered “no biggie…” i started to cry even harder than before. i wish i could say more… but i didn’t. with tears in my eyes, i whimpered ” i have to go…” and pressed the “end call” button.

i cried for a whole hour…. this was the worst halloween ever…. and i thought it was going to be the best. you would think that i would get over him… let me tell you something… i have been trying for 3 months just to get over him and move on… but there is this drive that makes me obsessive… this may sound stalkerish, but i have had 5 dreams.. with him in it.

i need to get over this embarrasment. i should have told him, even casually, that i wanted to start over. i wish i could just start over… because i cant talk to anyone. no guy is ever going to see me as more than the girl who dreams of boys during the day… or rarely, a friend. for now… matt… if ANYWAY you see this at anypoint in your life… all im asking for is friendship… and you ignore me… i try to be playful and joke around. but i guess ur not interested. i want to let you know… that i am.

IF ANYONE can please give me advice on how to get over this embarrasment… how to tell how i feel without it being akward for the both of us… plus without it seeming like a cheezy movie?

love ya,
Caroline Long

P.S.- If anyone who was mentioned here reads this ever… quit it… because my life is bad enough

I just want to break down and cry( i know this is long… but i need your help)
i thought it was going to be the best halloween ever… i have i big crush on my neighbor’s cousin, matt. his family was coming for halloween and i was trick or treating with my neighbor, daniel, my neighbor, brendan, matt and my best friend carly. i was dressing up as a baby, i had footie pjs and a pacifier.. i even carried around a teddy bear and had my hair in pig tails! anyway, carly was a cat, brendan was a redskins player, matt was a skateboarder, and daniel was bugs bunny.matt lives 2 hours away, so it was a big deal, because i had been thinking about him nonstop since that last time i saw him in july. he and his family arrived, and everyone met up at my house for pizza.
we set out for trick or treating and all was going.. okay i guess. everyone (including matt) knows that i am obsessed with him ( which is terrible but i live and act like its no big deal. the night gets worse and worse as we go through the neighborhood and i get the feeling that matt hates me ( not like hes mad at me, but just like.. “eww!”). carlys cat costume is black spandex, and im in a flecce jumpsuit… so carly looks hot and all the guys are joking around and think she looks hot (including matt) while i feel like a rag. matt jokes around and is like “yeah id kiss anyone BUT caroline! haha!” i know hes joking.. but i also know its true.. so i laugh and walk in front of the group… so that i can secretly pout my lip and sniffle :(
we went back to daniels basement and decided to play truth or dare when things took a turn for the worst. carly and matt exchanged phone numbers casually ( dont know if that means anything i hope) and i changed out of my footy pajamas into a white see through top.. but i held a pillow to my chest so the boys didnt see my bra. then… the worst. i was dared to kiss matt… on the lips! i decided not to make a big deal about it and just be cool, since everyone was saying ” ahaha! she wants to!” when i just leaned in to peck him akwardly, he leaned back and closed his eyes nervously. i didnt tilt my head so we bumps noses, and i barely skimmed his lips weirdly, and started cracking up, then he did and we all did. it was funny at that moment, but it turned ugly, when matt shouted out “you spit on my lip!” i knew i didnt, and brendan kept pushing it, so i just laughed and said ” no way!”. matt had been giving comments the entire night, also.. like, when someone said “matt kiss so and so on the cheek” he’d be all, “oh thank god its not caroline!” and laugh, id give him a look that said ” seriously?” and laughed along… but everytime he said that… my heart felt like a hammer smashed into it, and i was going to burst at any moment. when he left, i didn’t bother saying goodbye… i had never been so embarrased… daniel knew what my problem was… i had never kissed or been kissed by a boy before.. so i had never done anything lip to lip… i panicked… and wish i could just do it over. daniel gave me a little look that said “sorry!” then a rowdy group of friends burst into the basement, boys from our grade whom we were expecting. brendan told them the whole thing, and two of the guys, danny and kyle, bugged me nonstop… so i gathered my things and went into the garage, where i motioned daniel to come talk. ” every moment of this night…” i began, “i wanted to crawl into a hole and die. happy halloween” i said as i pressed the button to open the garage door. i didnt see his reaction… and i didnt want to.
i walked across the street, and nobody has home at my house bc my parents were at a party down the block. i slammed the door, ran up to my room… and i sat on my bed with my candy bag as i toppled onto a big pillow… and the tears came…
never in my life have i been so embarrased that i would cry.. let alone bawl uncontrollably. after 5 minutes of crying my eyes out, the phone rang. it was daniel calling to see if i was home and to tell me that his parents told him to remind me that my parents were at the party… then there was a pause ” and uh… sorry…” he muttered. he didnt need to say it, we both knew what he was talking about. tears burst ou of my sockets as i muttered “no biggie…” i started to cry even harder than before. i wish i could say more… but i didn’t. with tears in my eyes, i whimpered ” i have to go…” and pressed the “end call” button.

i cried for a whole hour…. this was the worst halloween ever…. and i thought it was going to be the best. you would think that i would get over him… let me tell you something… i have been trying for 3 months just to get over him and move on… but there is this drive that makes me obsessive… this may sound stalkerish, but i have had 5 dreams.. with him in it.

i need to get over this embarrasment. i should have told him, even casually, that i wanted to start over. i wish i could just start over… because i cant talk to anyone. no guy is ever going to see me as more than the girl who dreams of boys during the day… or rarely, a friend. for now… matt… if ANYWAY you see this at anypoint in your life… all im asking for is friendship… and you ignore me… i try to be playful and joke around. but i guess ur not interested. i want to let you know… that i am.

IF ANYONE can please give me advice on how to get over this embarrasment… how to tell how i feel without it being akward for the both of us… plus without it seeming like a cheezy movie?

love ya,
Caroline Long

P.S.- If anyone who was mentioned here reads this ever… quit it… because my life is bad enough