Don’t bullsh** me. - Help.com

Don’t bullsh** me.

I’m not too young to be in love. Cause I’ve been in love with one person for a year. It isn’t a happy feeling.

So we used to be dating…she was my everything. We met in sebtember of last year and even before that I’d sit in awe of her beauty, spunk, and uniqueness. We were best friends, we fought, we got along, we kissed, we yelled, we stood up for eachother, and we stood out together. Her last week in the same state I lost my mind. We started going out in April, I got sent to a behavioral health insitute in May. When I returned my Mom explained that I could no longer speak to her. I cared. I didn’t. I disobeyed her at first, and then she took everything away. She said she’d take everyone left away from me…she said she’d make sure I was miserable if I ever spoke to her again. Months passed and I carried myself terribly. I hid my anger, hate, and misery. Behind dangerous, rebellion. My parents pulled me out of school and now I’m being homeschooled. I don’t get to see anyone anymore. I have no reasons to forget about ‘her’. I had no one who could help me to forget about her. I have no one. I have 2 true friends left. I talk to them whenever possible. I see them never. I’m breaking down again starting today. I see her face everywhere I look, and it’s starting to freak me out. I’d do anything for her…but at the same time, I feel restrained, like if I try to get ahold of her, I’ll be trapped inside my house with no friends. My mother would have caught me. I’d threaten scuicide, but of course I wouldn’t do it…for the slight chance that I might see *her* again. No one would believe me, so I’d just be called “A fake, an attention addict, a lazy good for nothing handicap.” I’d sit in a chair. I’d refuse to move…. I’d pray to God to take me away when no one was looking. I’d write my stories about fantasies I have to hide in my head, and then I’d destroy them. I would never Marry, and eventually….I’d end up in a home for people just like me…who nobody really seemed to be able to figure out.

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