cheating help: my fiance of 6 years has been abusive and within the last year stopped…and turned to cheating.. - Help.com

listen… i want to tell you something…. a good woman brings her man at home every night…. do it for the child…. try a new approach maybe… good luck

You are engaged but not married? You have no ties to him other than a ring. How could he take you to the cleaners if you aren’t married?

Abusive? Oh goodness no. No man should EVER put his hands on a lady. You don’t deserve that. And now he’s cheating on you? You can’t live your life in fear like this. You need to get out of this relationship, it’s not healthy for you or your child. Think about the dangers you’re exposing your child to. You need to go talk to someone who can help you get out of that situation.

Does your fiance work at all?

Leave him. He can’t do anything, he’s just threatening you. Don’t stay with him because of your child, My abusive/alcohlic/addict of a father left when I was nine and my life was so much better because of it.

napster42 wrote:
listen… i want to tell you something…. a good woman brings her man at home every night…. do it for the child…. try a new approach maybe… good luck

a good women brings her man home every night? what the hel.l does that mean? A good man doesnt cheat, beat his gf/wife/fiance. She needs to not be with someone who treats her in that matter for the kids. Why raise them in a hostile environment?

Hey OP can you go to where you do have family, so you have some support to start over?

mz.mo wrote:

napster42 wrote:
listen… i want to tell you something…. a good woman brings her man at home every night…. do it for the child…. try a new approach maybe… good luck

a good women brings her man home every night? what the hel.l does that mean? A good man doesnt cheat, beat his gf/wife/fiance. She needs to not be with someone who treats her in that matter for the kids. Why raise them in a hostile environment?

Hey OP can you go to where you do have family, so you have some support to start over?

Exactly.

listen… do it for the child… if it does not work… leave him… but i think you should give him a chance for the sake of the child and if it does not work then its not meant to be… i am sorry but i like seeing family together instead of being seperated

napster42 wrote:
listen… do it for the child… if it does not work… leave him… but i think you should give him a chance for the sake of the child and if it does not work then its not meant to be… i am sorry but i like seeing family together instead of being seperated

So stay in an abusive relationship so the children can see that? Or maybe become abused themselves? this guy doesnt deserve anyone until he gets his head on straight.
Your advice is detrimental to her health and the health of her children.

i think you should go talk to somebody.. who knows your banking set up/financial stuff. you have the child. if this guy was/is abusive, you’ll get money for your kid! you can get a new job. you deserve better. this is your one shot at life, don’t settle because you have to. have trust in the world and the people you don’t know. there’s so much more out there for you.

napster42 wrote:
i am sorry but i like seeing family together instead of being seperated

Yes because staying with someone who has abused you in the past and cheats on you its a great idea. The child is 4 and has no doubt already be affected by the abuse. If it means having to “seperate” the family to protect herself and her child she sould leave him.

listen…. people change… ok… if you know how to approach them… see this is the problem with women now a days… they think relationships are all suppose to have a happy ending…WRONG… relationships have there ups and downs… if he does not change leave him and you don’t deserve abuse… I have seen people that have changed….

whats funny is that all you women that are attacking me seem to have a broken heart…new approach maybe hunnies!

napster42 wrote:
whats funny is that all you women that are attacking me seem to have a broken heart…new approach maybe hunnies!

wow you can start a response with something other then the order to listen to you. You must be the type of guy that thinks women have to listen to you. And this has nothing to do with the other helpers. It has to do with someone who is in a bad way, and you think she should stay there just in case he changes. She cant wait on other people when she has children in mind.

napster42 wrote:
listen…. people change… ok… if you know how to approach them… see this is the problem with women now a days… they think relationships are all suppose to have a happy ending…WRONG… relationships have there ups and downs… if he does not change leave him and you don’t deserve abuse… I have seen people that have changed….

He BEAT her for 6 years. You need to open your eyes, don’t feed people who need help the wrong kind of advice. Nobody has the right to put their hands on somebody. Relationships have their ups and downs, yes. But not to where it leads to physically abusing somebody. People don’t always change. Anonymous needs to leave before it’s too late. And like optimismiles said, you CAN get help but it’s only if you want it. Don’t let someone put you in a life of fear.

ok… non related, but accepted… Look i am here to help… its my opinion of what she should do… no one deserves to be abused but everyone deserves a last chance… good luck… i am not hating on the ladies… i am on your side… but leaving a relationship is not easy and may cause more damage than actually try to help… so i think a last chance is a good shot at her bringing her family together

Ask yourself these questions … are you happy ? does it bother you your child may witness the abuse ? Are you prepared to put up and ignore his cheating ? Are you going to stay until he does you or your child some real harm ? Taking you to the cleaners hon is a threat, are you happy with that too ? If you are scared to leave, consider a restraining order.In my experience, once a bully always a bully.

why exactly have you stayed for 6 years if he was abusive and is now cheating?
its called self respect. get some, and leave.

Seriously, ive been in this type of relationship for 3 years. i was abused so bad i couldnt stand. then one day i looked in the mirror and realised how much more i am worth. the people on here have no clue what the hell they are talking about. get out of it now! if i didnt leave he would have killed me! im telling u now, save urself and save ur child. a child come before a man, and that child is not safe in that kind of relationship and neither are u! on your next check, get on a bus, a plane, a trai…anything and get far away from him. not only are u sticking with him “for ur child” which is stupid because the child is also in danger, ur sticking with him cause u make 7.25 an hour in a subway… ur check can pay for u out of there. there is nooo excuse of u not leaveing, even if u stay in a shelter until u get on ur feet, they have a lot of programs for single mothers. and u need a lot of counseling, i was in this situation before. please take my advice!