life help: Everything is fake, inside and out.

hopelikefire4

Everything is fake, inside and out.

I was angry because everyone around me seems to be fake. I could give a lot of examples but I already wrote this out once and forgot to post it, so I will just cut to the chase. I saw that fake quality, the pretending everyone around me seems to do, so I stopped paying attention and looked in. And the view wasn’t any better; in fact it was probably worse.

The question: When you don’t want to be who you are but you’ve never been anyone else, when you’ve pretended so much its hard to distinguish who you really are from the facade, and it seems no one around you can do much better, how do you change?

This open post was written 2 weeks, 4 days ago | V/U/S: 127, 15, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post hopelikefire4 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. hopelikefire4 is a verified member, has been around for 8 months, 3 weeks and has 18 posts and 192 replies to their name.

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pretending, change, life (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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linuxya 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (4 minutes after post)

People are fake around you because you make them uncomfortable. So they make nice or act two-faced because they are afraid to be themselves around you.

You are uncomfortable because you are too anxious to be yourself. So you are fake and they are fake back.

Stop giving in to your fears. Learn who you are by taking risks and doing lots of different things with different people. Learn what you like and don’t like. Stick with what works and dump what doesn’t.

Help me with: The problem with self serving advice

steff 191 #
An Unknown Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (6 minutes after post)

it’s not necessarily that they are being FAKE…young people just don’t always know who they are or who they want to be yet…they’re figuring it out and trying on different faces.

Help me with: I think we all need a laugh.

hopelikefire4 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (14 minutes after post)

I have tried to take risks and do different things. But I’ve discovered that there’s something automatic about it. There are two people I have opened up to as completely as I can and somehow I still don’t think they really know who I am. I guess that comes from not knowing very well who I am myself. I don’t see how trying things makes any difference. I might find a new hobby but I am no more a Singer or a Writer or a Gamer than I am a Teenager. They all fit sure, but they don’t tell me anything at all about who I am. Not even a Coward or a Introvert seems to work. I feel too complicated to understand myself.

hopelikefire4 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (15 minutes after post)

As for how they are not fake, I know at least two people who are deliberately faking for their own gain. The others might be just as confused as I am so I guess you have a point, but I still consider myself a fake so I don’t know.

steff 191 #
An Unknown Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (21 minutes after post)

ohhh YOU’re being fake? why’s that?

Help me with: I think we all need a laugh.

hopelikefire4 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (33 minutes after post)

Not just me, but yep, me too. I guess I do it to appease others or get things I want, but its not like I’m doing it on purpose. It just seems to naturally happen. I’d like to stop it but I’m apparently so good at pretending that I can fool myself about who I am too. So I act like someone I’m not, thinking I’m just being myself. It’s nearly subconscious.

DoubleGin19 85 #
An Unknown Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (40 minutes after post)

you drink.

and you just let the depression, anger, and fake ness pass on by. and soon enough, you try to come to terms with the fact you’re not happy with where you’re at in life, with the people around you.

Help me with: Darts.

thep 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (42 minutes after post)

Then stop being fake yourself, you dont have to be. First get yourself right, then you will find that other will accept you for yourself.
Most people will respect that you are at least truthfull to yourself. Respect of yourself, gives you the insentive to have and show respect for others.
This in turn gains their respect for you.

Help me with: My replies are not getting to the posts I am sending them to.

steff 191 #
An Unknown Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (45 minutes after post)

just learn what you like and stick to it. that’s it.

and no drinking.

Help me with: I think we all need a laugh.

DoubleGin19 85 #
An Unknown Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (48 minutes after post)

oh come on :)
the drinking is fun x

Help me with: Darts.

hopelikefire4 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (1 hour, 9 minutes after post)

Well I like the drinking idea simply because I know I could actually pull it off.

Thep I know all that but I don’t know how to do it. I don’t seem able to say “Ok self, just be who you are. No more pretending.” I hardly realize when I’m doing it sometimes.

And I know what I like. I like horseback riding, writing, stargazing, dancing, music, I could go on. Knowing that doesn’t make me any more honest, any more real. I could pick on of those and make myself a new fake out of it, like being The Writer. But other than that I don’t see how these things could change anything.

thep 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (1 hour, 14 minutes after post)

You will also know that if you want something a lot you (YOU), have to work to get it.
It sounds like you want sympathy for something you can change. If you dont want to change, you never will.
I nor anyone else can do it for you.

Help me with: My replies are not getting to the posts I am sending them to.

hopelikefire4 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (1 hour, 41 minutes after post)

Haha well its not sympathy I’m after but I guess its something just as pointless and stupid to request.

I am basically after an instruction manual. Tangible things I could actually put into practice. The ten steps to becoming a genuine person, or something. ha.

Because in the world of the student there are clear cut directions for everything. Just another way I am disconnected from reality I guess. Would it help if I learned how to write my own manual for once?

thep 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (1 hour, 55 minutes after post)

Yes, that would be the best type of instruction you could get. You can then swap and change them as time goes on. Thus making better instructions for yourself.
You are the only one that knows what you want. You are the only one that can make them work for you.

Help me with: My replies are not getting to the posts I am sending them to.

linuxya 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (2 hours, 4 minutes after post)

It sounds like you are letting anxiety get in the way of enjoying your life. You are so concerned with figuring out what the “real you” is that you are questioning yourself and everyone else far more than is healthy.

Relax.

Live.

The more different stuff you do in your life, the more data you accumulate about what works and what doesn’t. When you have enough data, your brain will start making decisions about what is you and what is not.

Don’t rush it.

Help me with: The problem with self serving advice

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Everything is fake, inside and out.

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