trust help: I am a nanny/babysitter I am very hurt I have been working for a family since 8/08 I do a lot for this family besides care for the kids. - Help.com

In the end you have to understand that she is your boss.

And though it’s rude that she didn’t say happy birthday but she may of just forgotten.

Another important thing to consider is that these are her children and if she thinks you’re drinking even when you’re not she might want to be extra careful considering that they’re children.

Though obviously you were the one there so know the full story, just consider what may of been going through her mind.

If there was the slightest possibility that someone was looking after your children, when they were young of course ;) that they had been drinking, wouldnt you want to be absolutely certain?

I am sorry to hear that you had such an unwelcome experience at work this week.
Being a nanny is an amazing lifestyle with many challenges.
For generations, the women in my family have been nannies, as was I.
It is with this perspective that I offer this advice.

1) Do not assume that the attitudes that the mother exhibits are in response to your actions.
This seems a bit odd, I am sure, when the matter is naturally assumed to be driven by the mouthwash/smoking issue.
However, if she has been having a bit more wine than is acceptable to anyone in her own circle & is planning to travel,
then it is possible the breathalyzer is a precautionary measure of her own.

2) Never ever put a hurt or angry thought into print.
It is highly likely that doing so will come back to bite you - no matter how graciously worded.
It is better to work out an offense face to face and in a moment when you are clear headed from &
free of the flush of emotion. In meeting the situation in this manner, you prove that you can handle
ruff moments with the children with a calm demeanor. Thus, reinforcing your standing as the right
choice for the position you hold.

3) Overcome your inclination to see yourself as family. You are an employee.
Ok, so this sounds massively harsh. However it is the truth. You are not family. You are an employee and as such
you are replaceable.
Going to the husband was a bad idea. You had an issue with the wife. You should have spoken to her.
By speaking to him, you have made the conflict bigger and one in which he now has to either side with the help
or his spouse. It is likely this will come back to harm you. If so, acknowledge that it was an error, apologize quickly and
state that it will not be done again. (It will suck, but it will be necessary. Sorry.)
Doing more than is required is a good thing to do in any job. However, as a nanny it is easy to invest your heart
as you do this. You will only cause yourself pain by doing this. Remember that you are more than your job.
You have a life. You are working this job for a reason - focus on that goal. Don’t allow this job to become your world.

Leaving an employment situation that involves children is always tuff; it also happens to be inevitable. Watch over yourself in this area. Watch over your heart. ( : That’s what my Nanny would have said.

I personally would just let it go, but it’s your decision.

Kill her, take back your dignity from her dying twisted corpse.

Sorry the voices are typing again.

Hi there I was a nanny when I was younger for family in San Diego which is close to you. It was very hard at times to deal with some of the issues that come up when you are taking care of someones kids. At the time I wanted to get out of the job because of some of it, but funny enough we have been friends ever since. She is a CEO of a Credit Union and has helped me with my home loan.
Sometimes communication can break down and it is better for you to try to work it out with her, if you are living there it would be harder of course. If you find it impossible to work out you should seek employment at an agency before you quit.
I understand that you are being truthful and it is very hard when you are emotionally invested in your work to not be hurt by her assumptions or behavior.
But it would be easy to reassure her by having a heart to heart with her in person, and offering to take one of those tests to prove your point.
I think it would be to your advantage to take the high road on this and not let it get under your skin, just handle it as a professional woman.

I shall fly once more!

O_o you would know if shed given you a home breathalizer test, because youd have to breathe into it.
youre in charge of her kids, she has a right to ask you whats going on if she smells alcohol on your breath, regardless of where it comes from.
get a non alcoholic mouthwash, problem solved.

2 days later, how is it going? any resolution?