relationship help: Ex-girlfriend contacts me after 2+ years of no contact

EverythingHasReason

Boston, MA, US

Ex-girlfriend contacts me after 2+ years of no contact

So this is the situation right now and my question to all of you is why?

Here is what was sent to me so everyone can understand the context:

———————
“Hey-

I was going thru some college photos and they brought back a lot of memories…

I was just wondering how you were doing and what you were up to these days. Time and distance have healed a lot for me and I hope the same is true for you as well. I know a lot has happened since we first met, but I’d like a chance for us to get to know each other again. We definitely left college on a low point and I don’t think that needs to set precedence for the rest of our lives. A lot of my favorite memories have you in or around them, and I’d like for both of us to be able to remember them together and without hostility.

I have no idea where you stand on any of this…
Maybe the past few years have helped you to see my side of our darkest days as it has helped me to see yours… oooooor you could think that I am a miserable ***** who deserves to rot in hell. (My preference obviously lies with the first one.)

I’ll be in XX around Thanksgiving. I’d love to grab some coffee or something… want to?
Please let me know.”
———————

We had a hard falling out, she broke up with me and I had trouble dealing with it. I struggled for awhile with it, but finally got my head straight after 6 or so months.

She blocked me from facebook then and I haven’t had any contact. I’ve been really happy with my life too, which is the best part…I’m not concerned about her contacting me, just trying to understand why.

Has an ex you have had no contact with in a long time sent a message to you out of the blue? Was it to just get some closure or ulterior motives?

I feel it’s just closure. Let me know

This open post was written 2 weeks, 4 days ago | V/U/S: 181, 7, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post EverythingHasReason may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. EverythingHasReason is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 9 months and has 15 posts and 177 replies to their name.

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ex girlfriend, contact, random, relationship (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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etherslid #
An Unknown Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (6 minutes after post)

This has actually happened several times to me, and each individual had different reasons. One contacted me because she found some things of mine and didn’t feel right keeping them. Another one wanted to get back together with me (didn’t happen, and she had a bit of a hissy fit over it), and the last basically wanted to show off her engagement ring and talk about how I missed out. I think your best course of action would be to follow your instincts here. Do you want to see her? The first ex-girlfriend I actually did want to see. We’d broken up on a bad note but we were incredibly good friends, not just lovers, while we were dating. The other two I was much more iffy about. Do you feel there’s an unfinished note in how the relationship ended? There are a lot of questions to ask yourself before you say yes or say no.

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Barbyman 3 #
An Unknown Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (13 minutes after post)

why go through all the Misery again.???let the past rest .She might have dated a lot of No Hope rs all that time . I would take a Rain check on her ….

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friendlyheart 35 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (13 minutes after post)

never happened to me before
but my opinion..it took her a lot of courage to write that letter
she wants a new begining
that’s for sure
now you have to decide if you want her back in your life or not
because the letter says you could get to know each other again..which i think it’s more then a simple friendship
and i guess you have to decide if you want to have any contact with her or not..cause you said you’re better with your life now, which is great
so the reason why she wrote is because she kind of wants you back..for s friend or for more you will see

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EverythingHasReason 2 #
Boston, MA, US | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (13 minutes after post)

Yeah, you seem to have hit a variety of possible outcomes. She was my first girlfriend and when we left college there was still just tension between us. But prior to the **** show, we were good friends and did a lot together. There were a great number of memories, but there are tons that have formed after her.

I see no harm in grabbing coffee considering there is no emotional attachment, so I think that’s what I will do. The problem is if she wants to be friends and I don’t think I can…not because of our history, but because when I think of my friends, they’re fun and we share a lot of interests and are there for each other. With her, I don’t think I like her personality too much and don’t think we’d be good friends.

I was just curious at how people have dealt with this happening.

EverythingHasReason 2 #
Boston, MA, US | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (16 minutes after post)

I don’t want to go through that misery at all, and whatever the plan is, be it simple chat or something more, I just want to have this closed off. I feel like coffee time might give complete closure and no hard feelings while addressing the fact that I think it’s best if we continue our own ways.

friendlyheart 35 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (18 minutes after post)

yeah, well that’s a polite way to tell her you’re better off on your own, without her …

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littlenick 152 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 weeks, 4 days ago (30 minutes after post)

See what she wants and assess your advantage or dissadvantage in the situation. If you see you have nothing to gain really, why even bother?

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Ex-girlfriend contacts me after 2+ years of no contact

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