My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 1/2 years.

KitsuneDon

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 1/2 years.

I am so in love with him and he is so in love with me. We talk about the future and how whatever happens we’ll end up together because we’re supposed to be together. But 3 days ago he admitted that he had strange feelings for one of our friends and he had lied to me about it because he wasn’t sure what it was. He says that he’s pretty sure he likes her but he wants it to go away. He says that he wants to be with me more than anything but I don’t know if it will be too hard for me. It doesn’t seem like he will even try to get over his feelings and he’s unsure if they will go away or get stronger. I’m very afraid that I might lose him someday to her. What should I do?

This open post was written 3 weeks, 3 days ago | V/U/S: 104, 13, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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littlenick 126 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (3 minutes after post)

how old are you and him?

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KitsuneDon 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (6 minutes after post)

I’m 20 and he’s 21

napster42 0 #
Waterloo, ON, CA | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (12 minutes after post)

look all I can say is that… if he is really in love with you then you should not have this problem… his feelings should have gone from the first minute, hell the first second… Never underestimate the power of love, but your boyfriend seems that he is not trying…. I mean by telling you that he has feelings to me… i smell a break up soon, but that’s just me what do i know…

Help me with: Ok, i am giving away 1000 dollars… here is the catch….

tythecooldude0 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (14 minutes after post)

My friend Tan… she dated a guy named David for 6 years… they are still great friends… but they officially parted from each other… A couple of months latter I asked out Tan… she said yes. She was my best friend so it’s great. We’ve been together for a year.
__
Now with saying that. They thought they were going to be together too… The broke up because they started to fight a lot.
__
What I think you need to do is talk to him. You guys are still very young. You have a long time to figure things out. Take your time. Try to remember exactly why you got together with him. And try to rekindle the thing that sparked between you two.

Help me with: What do you do when you’re madly in love with someone?

littlenick 126 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (14 minutes after post)

Don’t start showing your insecurities to him. Just make it clear that you will not tolerate cheating of any kind. Period.

Help me with: How to Get a Job

KitsuneDon 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (19 minutes after post)

I’m not afraid about him cheating on my or anything like that. I’m just worried that he doesn’t seem to be trying to get over it. We talked for almost 2 days straight and he expressed so much remorse over his feelings and told me that he hates himself for hurting me and changing things between us. I became selfish and told him that I didn’t want him to see her anymore and he told me that was unfair. I believe it’s unfair but at the same time I feel like it’s unfair to me. It’s also difficult because they work together in a small pool hall and it’s not like he could just stop talking to her all together. I just can’t stand that he will see her and think about her while I’m home all alone. I know it’s selfish and childish and I trust him not to do anything….I just wish she would disappear. He even said that part of him wishes he had never met her so we could be the same.

tythecooldude0 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (24 minutes after post)

Ask him, why he is attracted to her. If you figure out that reason maybe it will give you a clue on what might be missing form your relationship now.

Help me with: What do you do when you’re madly in love with someone?

Abba Zabba 9 #
An Unknown Location | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (26 minutes after post)

tythecooldude0 wrote:
Ask him, why he is attracted to her.

Answer: because she’s shiny and new, and he’s been with OP for 4 1/2 years.

Help me with: Just because I’m bored & Beefheart is awesome.

KitsuneDon 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (31 minutes after post)

I did ask him why. He said he doesn’t know. He said it’s nothing physical. He said he wants to make her happy and let her know that people care about her and do nice things for her. He said that he has fun with her and that he feels happy when she’s around.

littlenick 126 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (33 minutes after post)

It might be her bubbly and vivacious personality. Maybe you should start being bubbly and vivacious.

Help me with: How to Get a Job

Abba Zabba 9 #
An Unknown Location | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (33 minutes after post)

Why is he telling you this? What kind of guy would do that.
Not the kind you should be thinking of spending the rest of your life with, that’s for sure…

Help me with: Just because I’m bored & Beefheart is awesome.

KitsuneDon 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (36 minutes after post)

He told me because he wants to be honest with me. Also I asked how he felt, I wanted everything he could tell me so I could know how serious it is. The problem is that he’s not even sure what his feelings for her mean.

tythecooldude0 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 weeks, 3 days ago (36 minutes after post)

It could be like a little sister thing. He could be treating her more like that. I would ask him if it’s like that. I know a lot of guys who do that… because they feel like that girl needs protection.

Help me with: What do you do when you’re madly in love with someone?

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My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 1/2 years. - Help.com