sigh/ nostalgia
i got into this a fight with my best friend for 10 years right before graduation. and now it has been 9 months since i last saw her.
i don’t think i could really get the courage to ask her to explain why we fought cause it still is a bit vague to me. and i never understood why we drifted apart.
and i really don’t know if i did something wrong cause its obvious that she’s hiding something cause her reasons aren’t consistent (like she say’s its because of my cuts….even though she cuts herself and our friends recently did it too) [but please don’t judge me too quickly..cause i’ve stopped cutting ever since we had that fight. and i do regret being too addicted to the whole masochistic act.]
and the hardest part is that whenever i try to patch things up with her (like try to be friends again) she just says something to worsen the situation…and making me feel bad about myself if not worse , cause its hard to do these things if you’re the only one trying.
and i’ve been trying so hard to move on but it just seems like i cant…
i’ve recently attended our batch reunion (but she wasn’t there cause she still had classes), and what happened there was an all out OPEN FORUM where everybody tried to settle all their fights and misunderstandings.
I was a bit glad that she wasn’t there cause i really wouldn’t know what to say and i really can’t take much more of her replies.
I LOVE HER. and even though she declares to OUR friends that she HATES ME like HELL. i could never fully loathe her.
…i dont really know what i’m asking for., maybe advices or comments.?!
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