lost help: I cannot understand why men run away before meeting me… what is wrong? - Help.com

:O Did you try me? hehe

Before meeting you??? Explain please?

I don’t understand as well if they run off before meeting you. If they run after meeting you? perhaps you try too hard and come on too strong.

There’s a good book out called: “Think like a man, Act like a Lady”. It is written by a comedian that was on Oprah’s show. Hope this helps.

If you give more details maybe we can help you.
Are you meeting these guy’s online or something?

guys like to make the first move.if they think they are being rushed in to something they do what they think is best.you don’t have to rush anyone let time take its course works a lot better

Hi, Mort… not yet…

J.N, I met this guy one day in July, but he was leaving for another country. During chats, calls, etc, he continued telling me that he was he in love of me and couldn’t wait till we met again. The last time I received a message from him he was asking me to call me. I saw the message the day after and soon tried to call me… but he refused the call and I know nothing since then…

Genesis, I will look for the book asap.!

So you did actually meet him face to face?
How long is it since he refused the call?
Have you tried to call him again since?
Did you leave him a message? If yes, what did you say?
What happened the last time you spoke?
How long is he going to be in the other country? Is this permanent or short term for work etc?
Do you live in different country’s?
It’s still kind of hard to advise you at this stage.
Maybe he got cold feet, were you just about to meet?
Are you sure he doesnt have a wife & kid’s somewhere?

We all certainly need more information in regards to his situation and yours. It’s complicated to try to figure anything out. Please advise.

yes it would help

J.N… yes, we did meet face to face, the evening he was about to leave for the country where he lives and works…
His last message was posted to me on 31st Oct, I tried to call him back twice since then.
I replied to his “I need you” with “I need you too”, when he refused the call I just left a post saying “thanks” on the skype chat.
The last time we spoke he was very warm and loving…
We had decided we would have met soon, either one of us would have travelled to meet one another.
Yes, we live in different countries, but he was thinking of my moving to his own country.
He used to have a wife, but he is not married right now (as he told me, he was already thinking about a possible place where we could have met together. There was no reason for making everything up, I think…
His kids are big and autonomous.

Are you sure you believe him about being divorced? He could be lying.
It does seem strange as your last comunication seemed to be nice & loving.
It could be cold feet on his part, maybe he is just hiding for a while, he got scared, he might come back if this is the case.
Maybe something happened to him, an accident maybe (sorry, not trying to get you to think the worst)
It is not such a long time since you spoke, maybe he is just busy?

This is because he didn’t have anything else where he is at currently. When people move away to somewhere new it is natural for them to try and hang on to what they had previously until things improve where they are. Don’t waste your time on him.

I could see him online on MSN and then hiding when he noticed I was online, too.
Anonym, you might just be right, maybe he’s just enjoying his time with a new babe.
But, what should I do? I find it so rude not to be given any explanation, he did not owe me anything, could have just said he had changed his mind…
J.N, I don’t want to seem too silly trying to get in contact with him again, even if I would like to understand, wouldn’t it be fair?

Thanks to all of you… I have to go right now. hope to find you here again soon and to understand how the site works…
bye bye :-)

Well, as you have seen him online & then he is hiding, i think that can rule out most of the positive things i was thinking!
Can i ask how old you both are?
Yes it would be the decent thing for him to be honest if he has met someone else or changed his mind but guy’s can not always be relied on to do the decent thing in situations like this!
I think it is time to give up.

Yes, of course, J.N, I am 51 and he is 54… not time to be childish, right?
It’s just that he had such a violent turn about… shocking! i was the caucious one, not him… Ok, I will have to decide that real treasures are very rarely to be found,,. if ever…
thanks a lot

Now im gutted, i can’t believe guy’s still act like that at 54!!!
FFS i was hoping they would of grown out of it by then!
Im sorry you have been put through this, it’s not at all fair.

guys never change.you can’t break them you can just tame them

That’s so nice of you, J.N.,
I really hope to have some other exchange with you… Now it’s bedtime at my place… Working soon tomorrow morning… :-)

I will put a friend request to you, you just need to accept it, ill lok ofrward to tlking to you again.
Good night, best wishes x

I have just accepted friendship… best wishes to you!

Thank you, you too, sleep well, nice talking to you :)