am i an idiot? - Help.com

Sounds like he knows you are always going to be there for him and you are just someone who is playing second banana to his other girls when you should be playing first fiddle in his orchestra.

Drop him.

No, you’re not an idiot but he’s treating you like you are one and you’re letting him. Drop him asap!

Try to meet someone who deserves you and respects you and loves your first and foremost.

Tell him to sod off!

I would give a person a chance to make things right but not two or three.

Envy or jealously is an inferiority complex about your own self worth. I have a friend and her husband talks to his ex-girlfriend because they are really good friends. I don’t believe (because she is satisfy that he really loves her) that she would request that he stop talking to the old girlfriend. He’s not a possession he is someone that she loves and trusts.

That’s the difference between her situation and yours. How can you build on this relationship any trust when he is a repeated offender. Move on, life is too short and you don’t deserve someone that isn’t going to respect what you have to offer.

Don’t sell yourself short…keep searching for your true hearts desire.

im really not the type to take crap i assure you! and he knows if he does anything else wrong then thats it. we have split up before and i did treat him very badly, sometimes i think i hate him more than i love him… Its just hard when i feel like people are judging me to be stupid and just keep taking crap from him coz im not that type of person.

Honey, from what you’ve written sounds like you have taken all kinds of crap from him. And that’s only from what you wrote on your post. I can only imagine the kind of crap he has put you through all these years.

not to sound rude but he doesnt respect you cause if he did he wouldnt be around those girls, he should have talked to u about it. since u r his GIRLFRIEND.and u r not a idiot many people in relationships for that long try to look past those errors thinking they wont happen again .but they usuallydo . see the things is when u r with one person for long time u get use to them andu become a customt how hey live , while this is happening you r growing closer to th person because each day feels more like the last which people like. the normal so when things start to head south some people fear change and to avoid it .in your case its your boyfriend being around other girls.truth is if you to r really cloe hewill leave this all behindbut umight want to look for anoer boyfriend if he cant change cause it is nt right that he is treating u this way and if you feel uncomfortable he should know. so talk to him calmly to try to figure out what u boh r expecting from this relationship.

hope this helps.and i wish u good luck :)

No. You’re not an idiot. However, you are fully aware of your boyfriend that is going astray. If he is lying, then there is no telling what else he has done that you don’t know about. I can see giving him a little bit of time to come back around. But if the problem persists, and you keep holding on, you’re going to be responsable for your own heartbreak. Espically, if you are marraige-minded and have future ideas about being married, he has not set a good pattern for fidelity.
Marriage aside - both of you are together. A wandering eye from time to time is one thing but something more than that. . .well. . . You know. . .
If this continues on, stand beside your self-respect and give him the boot.

Drop him like a used tampon!

littlenick stole the words from my mouth.

Quote: “Its just hard when i feel like people are judging me to be stupid and just keep taking crap from him coz im not that type of person.”

I don’t really care what other people think and I am secure enough to know that my relationship is on solid ground. If you ask other people what they think you will receive many replies… all of them negative.

If you are extremely unhappy, than move on. Love is suppose to make you feel happy and have fun not be chastised. You are not convinced that he is worth your attention, so therefore you can not be in love with someone that isn’t going about the business of convincing you that he is the one for you. That is the missing link. If someone loves you they don’t go out of their way to hurt you and make you jealous in the first place.

littlenick wrote:
Drop him like a used tampon!

omg .that was good :) .haaaa

Great reply Littlenick, you deserve an Oscar!

I would rephrase it to ‘dispose of him like a used tampon’ because really, it’s not a healthy practice to just ‘drop’ used tampons anywhere… that’s, kinda nasty…

you need to search your heart for the right answer.seems you already are if he is doing this now then he will be doing this a long time.why waste what life you have on someone who is already screwing around.get out their before you get hurt.

Next time you see him tell him this:

Take a hike on the freeway, blindfolded, totally naked, covered in honey, with African killer bees chasing you, with all the hair on your body on fire, including the one on your privates, with two nice chewy and juicy steaks hanging from your waist, and hyenas and dingos chasing you trying to get the steaks!

Do you think he will get the hint you don’t want to see him anymore?

OMG this has turned dirty .secretly loving it .jk lol

It hasnt been for a long time and as far as i know he hasnt “cheated” but its the lying, and the last time it was really bad has been about half a year but i just am having difficultie being happy again. nothing to do with him though he does make me happy until i remember all th crap- But other than that he does, i guess i just doubt it because i think back about everything he has done and i do feel like he’ll do it again…

We are all here telling you that this guy is USING YOU quite clearly, he does not respect you and is just hanging around for the hell of it. You need to stop making excuses for him, and looking at the past with rose-tinted glasses. This guy is a dog and you deserve better than that.

Take our advice and leave him once and for all.

If you don’t trust him, why stay with him?

Once you lose the trust in any relationship, the relationship is in the toilet and all you can do is flush it down and let it go the river of sewer where it probably belongs and you need to find another one. Because even if you try to salvage that relationship from the toilet, the smell will always be there and you will never get rid of that smell!

And your relationship with this guy will always–ALWAYS–stink!

i agree nick just asking to be used love is crazy sometimes

Yeahh i REALLY dont want another relationship!!! hoenstly i hate relationships anyway i dnt like the whole “feelings” thing

Mainly you don’t deserve this treatment and stop thinking that you do. Don’t settle for someone. Look into your heart you can’t erase these memories because they are really bad ones.

I don’t see myself trying to build a relationship on just crumbs. Move on and get him out of your life so you can get someone who really, really loves you. He’s dirt and he always will be. He’s using you to his advantage.

Have you ever heard the old expression that my mother use to say “why buy a cow when milk is so cheap?” Which means why should he stay committed to you when he has so many on the side.

You don’t believe he is cheating because you haven’t figured out when he does it and he has gotten better at it over time. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings but if that is what it’s going to take to stop you from ruining your life, than so be it.

Liars are just that liars. They grew up that way and its pretty darn hard to change. Their whole family is the same way. Give him up before your heart breaks entirely.

Nothing wrong with relationships if they are good. I hope that your experience with this guy hasn’t tainted your perception of love and relationships.
There are good people out there, people who will treat you much better than this guy ever did. Don’t ever believe that just because this one guy treated you badly, that they are all like that.

well said A that is the best thing you could have said.i agree.always something greener on the other side

I don’t get it - he ‘makes you happy’. But you’ve made this post in light that you are NOT happy. Further, you feel like he will do it again - rest assured, he will, go with your gut instinct. you say he has done thin before and that you broke up with him only to take him back - you positioned yourself as an enabler which is teaching him that you are so safe to cheat on because you’ll take him back.
If you don’t want another relationship, there is nothing wrong with being truly single. It will, at least, give you the time to decide what kind of relationship you do want - other than an emotional-feeling-based relationship - when the time comes.